If my father could see me now
I hope that he would be disappointed in me.
It would be easier than knowing
I can make out a man underneath the smoke,
underneath the mountain of ash left on a burning man’s face.
It would be easier to hold water in my hands than accept
that his love would burn me to ash too

full moon, nervous edge, sweat beads,
my lungs are bruised and beaten,
and my heart is made of bone.
why, pomegranates bleed,
sigh and remain uneaten,
calcify or rot alone.

i saw persephone cry
and all the angels alight,
stark and sad in burning flame.
a soft weeping right nearby,
holy fires of the night,
and i swear i heard my name.

possession requires a host,
but i couldn't catch my breath
stumbling through the graveyard.
i don't believe in ghosts,
but the awesome fear of death
caught me lonely and off guard.

i will try to describe it:
in the face of this feeling,
your guts are on the table,
your insides exposed, moonlit,
mine were cold and revealing,
dead, skeletal, and mangled.

Facing darkest of the dark,
at the verge of loosing my lively spark!
it grows deep and intense everyday...
giving me wounds some or the other way.
something inside me feels incomplete;
may be some of those stories which I never revealed..
STRUGGLING WITH LIGHT AND DARKNESS!!
I've turned myself to mess!
every hope that knocks my door,
messes me up even more.
I still have a lot of things to deal..
things which cant be revealed!!
Growing DARK and COLD,
numb and mould!
everyday someone tries to shape me out,
i've lost myself to these self doubts!
SOMETHING BURNS ME EVERY MOMENT!
that particular burned even my resilience
this holocaust is BURNING ME ALIVE;
it owes my soul to thrive..

I am loosing myself bit by bit,
sec by sec...
EVERYDAY I AM GROWING DEAD.

Sometimes I am driven to a state of utter insanity by the incredulity of my own self.
How shamelessly I stand waiting under the sun looking up to the sky as if a sudden love would fall from it!
I scratch my own wounds making a fresh pain out of them to live through.
Was I not done with the devastating breakdown of my heart not many a while ago?
But like a woman hypnotised I am feverish with a new hope-This time a wish for burning.
Brokenness was bitter,I console myself but what if burning feels better.
I will play with the flames, dance with its passion,let it get into my body like a ghost and then die down along with it as ashes.
Maybe I am on the verge of doing much more than what my mind can accept.
But you know once you taste of love, you will always want more of it.

No matter whether it causes a breaking or a burning.