Beautiful and hungry,
They proclaim my fears.
They scream out of the darkness,
They whisper into my ears.

"A moment on the lips,
Adds ten pounds to your hips."

It rips into my sides,
It makes my stomach churn.
I guess I'll always think this way.
I guess I'll never learn.

"Dance for me my puppet."
And so I danced for her.
"Bind yourself to me my dear"
And so I bound myself to her.
"Listen to me and no one else."
And so I listened to only her.
"Starve yourself for me my precious."
And so killed myself for her.

Maybe one day the wind will pick me up and take me away from this place.

Maybe then it will whisper how lovely I've become.

I can feel it.
Just under the surface, it's there.
That hard prominent perfection.
Under my fingertips that trace my imperfections.
They are there.
Beautiful and white.
Just pull my skin tight and you can feel them too.

Everything they say,
Everything they do,
Everything they spout,
is a lie.

I know because the voices in my head told me so.

Just let me melt into the floor.
Leaving no remnants
of my life on the hard wood.

Stare into me as I evaporate into the sky.
And run through my shadow
as though I were never there.

This love is pungent.
Draining my heart of the light that used to live there.

My shell has broken,
And my insides have seeped out through the scattered fragments.

I've nothing left to do but
Disappear forever.
So wave goodbye as you watch me drip through the floorboards
And disappear into the sky.

All that's left in her cold veins
Is what hasn't been excised
She stares off into the crowd
Wondering what it's like
To have a soul.

EDNOS is:
 confusion.

-starving for days,
 then bingeing every day for a week.

-puking until you see blood, 
because you failed yet again.

-starving again, 
because you’re too fat to function.

-puking some more,
 because you’re not strong enough.
EDNOS is: 
manic.

-running for hours,
 because running makes you thin.

-exercising in the early morning,
because every minute counts.

-constantly fidgeting, 
because moving burns calories.

-counting calories like a pro,
 because everything has to be exact.

-organizing everything,
 because it calms you down.
EDNOS is:
 horrible.

-pulling your head out of the toilet,
with tears running down your face and puke all over.

-fake smiling at everyone,
 because no one would believe you if you were honest.

-your mind spinning 100miles/hour,
 because demons control your thoughts.

-comparing yourself to everyone you see,
 because you’re too fat to be a part of society.

-wanting to die every second, 
because you’re not perfect.
EDNOS is:
 me.

We are who we are, because of what they are.
The need to be perfect. The need to be thin, skinny, beautiful and popular. The need to be in control. Self-destruction our only friend. Anorexia, bulimia, and ednos, our sicknesses. Self harm - the only way we know how to control our pain. Suicide... The the only way we see as a means to escape. ****, molestation and abuse filled our sick childhoods and now we all pay the price for it. We pay with the blood from our veins, the ***** from our stomach's, the tears from our eyes... We pay for their crimes until we are empty and can not give any more.
We are what we are, because of what they are. And we scream out for help. We cry for forgiveness. We do anything we can to beg for mercy and yet, no one answers. So we cut, and we starve, and we purge until we have withered away to nothing but scarred up bones. Just empty shells of the kids we used to be... And still they don't notice. So we try to **** the pain inside... Over dose. Hanging. Gunshot. Slit wrists.
And then... they notice... But for us, it's already too late. They made us who we are. Whether or not we succeeded, we are already dead inside.

It calls to me in the wind,
Like a soft, warm whisper,
Beaconing me home.
It wraps its cold hands around my throat,
And I am at it's mercy.
I am free in its chains.
I am powerfully weak.
Like a threaded puppeteer,
I am no longer in control.