She is an artist,
Of red lines that cover her waist.

She is a singer,
Of brutal screams and cries that are never heard.

She is a doctor,
Of fixing every broken heart she sees.

Yet she is a victim,
Of pain and constant internal longing.

But she is a fighter,
And you'll never know she's any different to the little 4 year old you first met her as.

Everybody
Is broken
At least a little bit
Since when did brokenness land on a measurement of more, or less?
Like, beaten is better than broken,
It's better to be battered than shattered

But last I checked broken was a loss of functionality,
If you can't do the same things you used to without crying,
You're just as broken as the rest of us,
If you just don't smile as often as you used to,
You're just as broken as the rest of us,
If you can't even hold a pencil without your hand shaking,
I'm sorry, you're broken, just like the rest of us.

What if I told you that in order to be truly broken you have to accept it,
What if I told you that in order to accept brokenness you inherently accept that you were ever whole in the first place and you, were made of pieces.
Two halves came together to make you,
And no self inflicted bashing, slashing or thrashing will bring you alive again because you were never dead
You have so many parts that have lost segments of code
You're not broken, you've just altered your directive
Because brokenness, assumes that you have a function,
And
If you can't perform a function anymore,
It's okay to find a new one.
You're not broken,
You're just weathered.

You're a cold beverage that I so much love to drink, cooled by the ices that are so abrasive.

As I gulped, I have swallowed some of them, and they've cut my esophagus. Bleeding, blood mixed with the refreshment you caused me.

I'll endure, for the sake of love.
I'll drink more of you.

The coldness, the ices.
Let them melt for me.

Let "us" be.

people with a dream are kinda like people who don't have a dream
they can live the same life and do the same things everyday
wishing there world was not like this, everything needed to be different
they wanted navy blue instead of orange red

you can have everything you ever wanted
but still dont have what you really need
a friend, a lover

someone to hold you when everything in the world seems unfixable

it was raining again today, the sky was grey just like my mind
a long time ago I met this girl let's say her name was Victoria
she was a little odd but in a special way, her soul was precious
she also had a dream, she wanted to change the world

Victoria wanted the so called weird kids to fit in, to be loved
I guess she dreamed of a world without fear and lonelines
because this girl knew the darkness like no other soul
she had dinner with the devil and played games with his demons

I got broken parts where my heart should be..
and I just needed someone to save me from myself

but dreams don't ever come true, so love me and my brokenness.

I see it
It's on their faces
All of 'em
This shadow
Like some sort of indifference
Built out of hurt and pain and loneliness
Like they're so tired of fighting that they just gave up
"This is reality" they say
Yea, I see it
Don't think you can fool me
And there's a lot I could say
You know, to them, to myself, or to God
A lot of words that attempt to heal
A lot of prayers that attempt to reveal
A lot of...wrestling...that attempts to understand the brokenness of our condition and how God fits into all of it
But lately I've only been able to think of one thing
One single question that wells up inside whenever I begin to feel overwhelmed by the comprehension of the depth to which you have sunk your teeth

How dare you?

I see her
She's laying it all before me
Her heart
Her emotions
All her past
All her brokenness
Her father who used to chase her all over the house
Call her all sorts of horrible names
Totally RUINING her sense of self worth!
And now, she doesn't know what to believe or what to say or how to say it or what to pray or what to do or what to choose or how to love or when to love or if to love at all and all I can say is

How dare you?
Are you not aware?

And I see him
He's caught up in himself
So misguided by the failures of those involved in his life that he built a wall TEN MILES THICK around his heart, locked it, swallowed the key and never looked back cuz he's so **** sure there's nothin' left to see and all I can say is

How dare you?
Do you not know?

Oh and I see him
Sitting right across from me all full of lies and blasphemy
The things he says only ever amounting to full blown hypocrisy
I see him
So full of anger, hatred and hurt that I don't even know where to begin
The web is so thick it's BLACK
And you say it's hopeless, and I feel helpless, and all I can say is

How dare you?
Can you not see?

Oh, and I FEEL it!
That voice!
Insipid and subtle
So confident and slithering and leaving no room for rebuttal
Give UP it says
You're not capable and they're not worth it!
Your faith is invalid cuz it contradicts all the others
Your heart is too filthy and your soul is too shredded!
You're gonna fail!  Because you always fail you failing, miserable failure!
And all I can say is

How dare you?
Do you not know?
Can you not see?
Are you not aware?

Get to tremblin', beast.
For we are the children of the living God.

you aren't
less worthy
less important
less powerful
because you're
b r o k e n.
your brokenness is
no obstacle for light
to shine through you.
the light shines
through the cracks.

So let's write ourselves a silly lillo quee
cheer ourselves up and forget all our troubles before we go off
to our shelters of grand construction.
For feelings without thought are too soon in the making
to pass onto the battlefield.
I ache, but what good is my ache-knowledgement of this?
Can analysis be worthwhile?
I love you I do. I love you... I do.
My fractured shins and ankles, toes and knees are broken.
So t(here) I am
unable to move.

Here in my lair of mind
I am set apart, but
only for the moments that I stew
in the smoke of my thoughts.
Fresh air that comes with each passing day
enriches my soul and gives me patience, perseverance, and the forgiveness
I do so require.

I was wrong.
It was wrong of me to not trust you.
But for just one second, I didn't trust you.
And now I can't trust you.
Not anymore.
You were wrong.
You can't love me and do that.
You can't love me and want her, too.
You led me on, you did this.
You lied to me.
I cry.
I cry for everything.
I gave you everything, I love you.
You took everything.
I have nothing.
I'm at a loss.
I believed you.
I thought you meant forever.
I wanted forever.
I'm so lost.
I am broken.
You have stolen my heart.
You said you wouldn't be like them.
You said you wouldn't hurt me.
I was stupid.
I should've known.
I should have realized.
I'll never be good enough.
Not for anyone, no.
Not for you.
I am alone.
I am so overwhelmed.
I cry out, but there is no one.
I cannot breathe.
My heart stops.
It is over.
I cannot do this.
I cannot love anymore, believe anymore.
I cannot be hurt anymore.
I need to stop.
My breathing slows.
I slide out of consciousness,
As tears slide out of my swollen eyes.
I numb myself with restless sleep,
Never to fully wake again.