To be haunted
By voices of people
I have known,
But will never meet;

To be drawn
Into worlds
I have explored,
But will never see;

The sheer emotion of reading,
Magnifies and withers across each page;
With ink tearing into our hearts,
Leaving us yearning at each epilogue...

You can write me down in our history books,
Say that I am a star, Say that I am a ****,
Some treated me good, an left an impression,
Most treated me like dirt, but yet I am just a introvert,
content with my thoughts and not reality dashboard,
Am thankful for everything that happens,
It's just on simple decision,
to be happy with what I have,
Not for what I desire,
What I should Look like,
What I should be doing,
If the whole world is against it,
Take my head, put on the tower, on the spike,
so the whole human race can see the delusions,
That I once had in life,
No children, no husband nor wife,
just dreams and desires,
nothing that God's or power requires,
but I guess that you cannot be free,
to have your own opinion,
see the whole world truths,
when we all want to be,
Little pretty liars,
just waiting for our lives to expire,
I don't care for religions,
But am pagan at heart,
No training to believe,
just stick to training pigeons,
Happy, looking at Mother Nature Art,
that we are a part of destroying,
making up fairy tail stories,
I hate my own kind, Blackheart,
But bury that lonely mouse,
found in the forest,
with a prayer to Mother,
to let his little spirit,
roam free for eternity,
Let this little body, decompose,
and feed the land, feed the rose,
Prayers to Cernunnos,
the Protector of the Forest,
Protector of all thing nature,

Oh Cernunnos, forgive humanity,
They have lost they way of nature,
though creating power and legislatures,
So don't be angry with all of us,
some of us still love you as our deity,
of nature and all things wild,
Take and care for the spirit of a child,
who died, they passed in undefiled,
They are innocent, don't exile,
Exile those who chose the path that reconciled,
Hear the ones who are true to the land,
True to the animals and true to elements,
Hear our wolf kid howls,
We are the true light child, the one moon child,

You can write me down in our history books,
Cause of the styles I chose, because of my looks,
Hell or Heaven, Exile or Free,
Don't class me, I was never one of those crooks.

I'll start reading a kindle when they make it smell like a book.

Running thoughts like water
Is flowing off my fingers,
It taste sweet like a candy cane of Santa’s sack.

My pen bleeds sugar
And I know it’s all because of your smile,
I’ve wrote poetry even without a rhyme.

My palm releases warmness,
I’ve written words from my lips
As remembering your sweet embrace.

If only I could dance,
I would love to do that
But all I do is to write with a pen on my hand.

My mind is singing lively
While hugging your gift Teddy
In the middle of the night while everyone’s asleep.

In my blank notes under my lampshades,
I am writing a poem for you,
A poem talking about your greatness.

I have lots of masterpieces in my pocket,
All thanks to you as my fuel,
I’ve written books because of you and only you.

This is an apology.

No, not a notes app apology.
You deserve more. This apology
is a thank you.

So thank you.
For being the people I needed, right before
I needed you. Thank you, for showing me
to the stars. Thank you, for teaching me
how to feel.

You arrived as a black wave, a dark abyss
coating the horrors yet unknown to me.
You held me near, a guidebook of pages.
I focused on you, blind to the evils surrounding me.

I loved you. I love you. I thank you.

The horrors haven’t left me.
I don’t think they ever will.
A mask will always hide my face,
I will always come running back to you,
I will always think of you when I’m alone.

But these days are brighter than when we met.
These days I look towards
the blue sky, not a dark wave.

These days I focus on joy.

These days, I let my love for you,
be a background, not my home.

So, to you,
I apologize, and I thank you.
For everything.