I didn’t choose to be born in this world,
But I was born this way.
It’s my right to be myself.
It’s my right to choose.
    
I choose the culture I love.
I choose the society I love.
I choose the friends I love.
I choose the family I love.
        
I choose to start the new life I love.
I choose to learn the knowledge I love.
I choose to study hard for my dreams.
I choose to work hard for people I want to help.
        
I choose the life style I want.
I choose the hair style I want.
So I wear pink because I love,
Not because I am a female.
      
I choose what I love.
I love what I choose.
This is my life.
I was born this way.

You once said I was loud so I became quiet
You once said I was selfish so I started to care more for others than myself
You once said I was illiterate so I flooded my brain with books and inarticulate words
You once said I was ugly so I put on so much makeup I was borderline unrecognizable

Loud
Selfish
Illiterate
Ugly

But then it’s too quiet
Then it’s self neglectant
Then it’s nerd
Then it’s fake

I couldn’t do anything right

You once said I was ***** so I wore short skirts and crop tops just like the rest of them
You once said I was different so I fit as much of myself that I could into a perfect little mold
You once said I was husky so I stopped eating lunch
You once said I was lonely so I started befriending more guys than I could count

*****
Different
Husky
Lonely

But then it’s ******
Then it’s wanna be
Then it’s anorexic
Then it’s *****

Trying got me nowhere and i’ll never be like everyone else
But wait.
Why would I want to be?
Since when I did I care about all that?
I was not loud I am just expressive
I was not selfish I’m just not open
I was not illiterate I’m just still learning
I was not ugly I just have flaws

Why did I believe you in the first place?

I was not ***** I just rock a turtleneck
I was not different we are all unique
I was not husky I just had thighs for days
I was not lonely…am not lonely.

So why would I change myself for the likes of you?

Something, I have found
Is wrong with me
Nothing I can do
Can make me feel complete

I could climb the highest mountain
And feel nothing
Just like how I feel
Whenever I do anything

I try not to submit
To the demon in my soul
But it's so hard to fight
The ever-growing hole

Nothing can fix
What has happened to me
So now all I can do is wait
For it to overtake me

Is it strange that.....
When I’m amidst people,
I want to be A.L.O.N.E.
In my own form,
In my own mind,
Not acting,
Not Reacting,
Just being in my own.
Just being myself.
To be someone I dream of,
To go through those memories.
I got to be A.L.O.N.E.
.
And then,
When I’m truly A.L.O.N.E.
I want someone,
To remind me who I am.
To make me better.
To bring out my ownself.
To tell me it’s okay,
To be A.L.O.N.E,
To be Myself.

the first time i meant love
i was in middle school
love sat across from me in my history class
twirling her long blonde hair
and biting the end of her pencil
love was the smartest in the class
and best on her sports teams
and she was beautiful
but love had other plans
and she only saw the loud football boys
and not the quiet one right by her
i meant love again a few years later
she was pale and skinny
dark black hair that had the perfect curl to it
she was loud and rude to others
and she was beautiful
but love ended up becoming my best friend
and slowly those feelings i had for her died
i searched and searched again for love
checking everywhere i thought it might be
i walked miles and miles calling out for it
and nothing replied
until one day when i was about to give up
love snuck up behind me
love had short ***** blonde hair this time
love wasn't the smartest
or the best in its class
love wasn't my best friend
and love wasn't always so loud
but love made me feel something new
something different
i felt needed
i felt important
for once i knew what actual love was
and he was beautiful

I've, been sitting on my bed,
Contemplating life,
The worries in my head...

Trying so hard,
To socialise and embark,
On this pointless quest,
Of making some friends...

The ones I lost,
For a reason unknown,
I wonder, what have I ever done?
Curse myself,
Yet once again,
To learn that the fact that me trying to gain attention,
Has been making me lose friends.

So I chuck this 'self-pity',
In the back of my head,
And start being myself.
Irrespective of what others think of me,
'For attention, I will not change myself,'
I promise to continue,
Being myself.