You've made me go to mint tea
And eating fresh lettuce I've grown all myself,
With mindfulness and yoga sessions
And more thoughtful daily routines

You've made me realize
How toxic you really are;
Pondering upon if I should let you go
I conclude 'Yes.'

you noticed.

if nothing else,
if we will never be more
than the faint wonderings
of what could have been.

even if this is as far as the story goes,
at least once, just once,

I was seen

I had a feeling it'd come to this,
Yet I didn't want to accept such fate
Though I'm still confused,
As to what the **** I even did
Laughing and joking with all perfectly fine
A week of absence
Then suddenly years of memories thrown out the ******* window

Tell me,
Did I mean so little this whole time?

Nevertheless I laugh,
For I believe and trust you'll respect what has happened in our lives together
Realizing we shouldn't part ways;
Likewise that the first fight your boyfriend and you get into,
Will bring you strolling on back
Or even if your boyfriend and you break-up,
Shall do the same

Until then,
I mind to wait...



10/29/19

I don't understand why you decided
That leaving was better than staying;
Or why you think
That you don't need me anymore
But its fine dear,
I can only hope this is temporary as usual
And so when you come back,
I'll foolishly accept it
And try to pretend and hide the reality


10/28/19

I miss you,
I miss your flesh and
even your bones
I miss your face and
Terrible jokes
I miss you the same way a body misses it’s soul
And when your gone,
I decay just the same.
Now that I’ve fallen for you,
I can’t imagine myself
Without you.

here's to you who has seen me cry ugly tears and was there to give me a hug anyway,
even though my snot and my tears and my mascara probably got all over your clothes.
you didn't care about your shirt -
you just cared about being there, being that someone for me to cry on.
you wanted me to know that i was never alone,
you wanted me to know that i was always so loved.
you are the friend that sees me unhinged and and finds a way to talk me through it.
you are the friend that listens when i need to cry or yell or scream -
you always know the words i need to hear to soothe my troubles,
and to help tie up all my loose seams.
so here's to you,
who has seen all my messy parts and chooses to love me still.
you know that our friendship isn't just about the sparkly bits -
but about every low and every high.
and thats what lasts and thats what counts.

I want my best friend back
I miss staying up late talking about everything....there was nothing we didn’t talk about
We laughed in church even though we tried our hardest not to
Together we laughed anywhere and everywhere
I remember when we would not see each other for like a week and when we saw each other we would run to each other in slow motion