I am a soldier
Going in for the ****
Bringing rage and destruction
As I bypass the three limp bodies
In the path towards you

I found you
After our short time apart
So I can trap you in my cage
And strip you of all the
Strength you knew

You are the enemy
With insanely radical customs
Talk of bringing love and safety
To something so dangerous
To a complete mess

You found me
After our time apart
So you can draw out the light for me
A contrast to the war in my mind
That couldn't get you to care for me less

Here’s my question:
Don’t daughters lope their mules?
However non-existent
They too surely must bend the rules.
Surely it’s not only guys
Who secretly, daily slap their laps.
If so, would you bluenoses
Quickly and firmly shut your yaps?

There are so many things
Boys are not supposed to ever do
Like farting and belching
And all kinds of gods to apologize to.
We have to fold napkins
And keep our elbows off the table.
The list seems to grow.
I’m not sure I will ever really be able.

Adhering to what it takes
In life to keep myself perfectly decent
Seems to involve rules
Both ancient, ecclesiastical and recent.
I must put the lid down
Because, it seems, women can’t do it.
Hold the door open for them
Because, alone, they can’t go through it.

Give your seat up on a bus
Because even if they are younger than I
Women are the weaker ***
And I must be much stronger, I’m a guy.
And there literally hundreds
Of words I can’t say and shouldn’t think.
Now if only the women of the world
Would outlaw me getting near the kitchen sink.

Sometimes...
The emptiness of words is all I read
The silence of music is all I hear
A blank page of mystery
Sums up my life
With a muted cry
And a single tear

Sometimes...
I give up all my defences
I have nothing to lose
And nothing to gain
Nothing but aches
With a muted cry
And a single tear

The man who tries to prove a point
Is unsure of how sharp it is.
A man who wars with blunt arms,
Is confident in his own strength.

The man who bears armor brave,
Falls heavy into his own grave.
The man who comes naked
Is sure he will return unscathed.

But, not every warrior is the same;
And no war can be fought
In the shadow of divine aim.

My family always questions my relationship status as though it determines the person I am.
My mom believes I am too independent and headstrong.
My stepdad thinks it's because I don't socialize with enough people and I don't get out of the house.
But, no one really knows the truth hidden in these walls.
No one in my home truly understands.
All of my family has carried a set of higher goals for me than I really ever had for myself. I have always been told,
"Hannah, I hope and pray you find the perfect man in your life that treats you right and loves you for you."
What if that person wasn't a man?
Would it be the same? Would I fulfill the hopes and dreams they have always wished for me?
Unfortunately, the little girl that they have always cherished would never be seen through the same eyes.
Because loving the same *** is against the bible and everything they have ever believed in.
So therefore, it would never be right. I would always be wrong in the eyes of my loved ones and my so called creator.
While I did not find someone who matched the perfect image everyone has set for me, I did find what was perfect for me.
I found someone with my sense of humor and my beliefs.
I found someone who loves me for all of my curves and personal battle wounds.
I found someone who took me out of the darkness and into the light, showing me a whole new world.
This person became a part of my motivation to success and apart of a new forever.
I would have never thought I would experience such a love in this forsaken world.
So, mom, I found someone.. You don't have to worry anymore.
I fell in love and I am the happiest I have ever been.
I'll just never be able to tell you.

“I said
I love you.
I didn’t say
you should pity me.
Because between you and me,
I have the guts
and
courage
to say
I love you.
I took the risk.
And
by
it,
I’ve already won
half of the battle.”