currently in a battle with a dream
I have not expected to be this hard,
to be this complicated & mind-wrecking
until I realized, I'm trapped

trapped inside a prison cell
fighting for glory without strength, without drive
I'm beginning to feel my flesh, my soul
gradually turning black, burning down

this is not what I wanted, what I wished for
maybe this is not for me
i'm failing, falling too many times,
too tired to get up again and again

years passed, this is the last
I wonder if I am to escape atlast
before the time ticks too fast,
that I'll perish into bones and pass

All you need to do
is fake a smile
and move on
with your day.

Hold back the tears,
Suppress the demons
and pretend you're okay

Some days it's not worth
all the effort that's
draining you inside out

Exhaustion follows you
all day for all the battles
you fought last night

You're brave but you
feel so scared
Running in circles

It feels so pointless,
Yet so meaningful
Stabbing you every way
until you give up.

Don't ever give up-
Reread this poem
and know how strong you really are.

saw myself walking around campus
contemplating about life, about me
it's not just the good things i need to focus
but also those that caused my plea

there are things, circumstances
which I cannot control
those of which triggers those chances
of getting myself into a brawl

yes, i'm always in a fight
a fight with myself, my mind
all the silent cries i have to experience every night
really felt like a daily grind

for other people,
they always thought I'm happy
but the truth is I'm in trouble
for pretending and being carefree

~
Would that the words would
come easily to me.
For me to be able to express
myself, to be a strong and proud
and confident bard...

Would that I could feel more
secure in the power of my ink
to not feel dread or shame or
depressed for now keeping
my ink flowing upon the
canvas...

Would that my soul would fall
into the arms of the true moon
that sees my soul...
I know that I am flawed.
I fear that one day my mistakes,
my past will catch up and drag
me down into a hell where others
loathe me...

And while my wounds are fresh
the ghosts that I have locked
behind the doors, the ones that
one time that I had loved and
let go for my own stability will
rise...

I can admit my faults,
but it hurts when my mind leaves
me floating in a dark sea; calm
with no light, no shore, no soul
in sight...

Would that I can believe
that indeed

I am good enough...
~