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Deepak K B Apr 2018
even when you are not perfect for few.
i never miss to see you…
your each imperfection of beams is worldview.
i never miss to see you…
even if some fails to realize you.
i never miss to see you…
but you never knew.
even when the world freeze to ice.
i will be there for your each rise...
dspoetry Apr 2018
All my exes know about you
because in severing
myself from them
they only heard me
cry out
your name.

Everyone I have ever loved
and will ever come to love
will sit with me at a
table set for three
and always wonder
whose company
I was expecting.

When I run the next two
relationships to the ground
I will tell myself it didn’t work
because they were not the one
for me.

Still then, I will beg myself
to stop looking in all the
wrong places
just to prove
love is not meant for me.

How many times can you look for
sea turtles in swimming pools and
belonging in half-hearted promises?


How many homes will you build out of paper
yet spend the night gathering every
scream lodged in your throat
to build you the boat you will
escape with in the middle of the night?

How many times will you say
it didn’t work because we weren’t right
for one another?

Didn’t your mother tell you
if you want to find what you are missing
you must not search with your eyes shut?
Eyelids crinkled,
palms shielding you
from every crack of light
begging to be seen.

You will blame the world
before you find fault
with who you keep for company.

You cannot blame
the darkness—
he is the only one
you ever let in.
Jewel M C Apr 2018
lately i've felt:                 d e t a c h e d
from our empty society
i've been avoiding
my own mortality

is there anyone who can help me?
i'm still not me,
can't you see?
i'm just trapped
on the other side
of this augmented reality,
on the edge of insanity,
i think i got lost
trying to figure out
who i'm supposed to be
Laz Farrell Feb 2018
6am
His face was too familiar
The unwanted and out of date
A real gentleman
Someone who cares
Despite that prevailing optimisim
What’s he here to do
*
I appreciate you coming
That deep burning brow
Handing it to a shocked friend
Whose schedule don’t allow
I’ll learn to compromise
Despite significant disruption
I still won’t show any reaction
It slowly creeps in all day,
Just thinking of excuses
So that I don't have to do it.
But is it real or am I really just excusing nothing?
All I know right now is that:
I don't want to do it.
Going is too social for me,
Repeating a message is too much,
And asking for cover contradicts the last one,
Not showing up will be noticed,
There might even be consequences.
It's not as bad as it has been,
But I still don't want to do it so
What can I do?
I don't even want this all to be happening,
I wish life would just stop,
Because everything is stressful enough,
Anxiety levels are heightening,
So do I just get out of it by not talking to anyone?
Maybe I can avoid everything by just staying here,
And doing nothing,
Just pretend not to be noticed even more,
Maybe then all of the things I get wrong
Won't matter anymore.

But I know when I get there it might be fine.
I'd be missing out on the classroom banter
That I will never be a part of.
Missing things I could be, should be doing as a sixth form student,
Because she's too scared it will be bad
And she won't be able to escape.
No one cares about that,
Because you're not a little girl stuck in a nightmare
And, the world won't wait for you to be ready.
It's just I'm tired because I've been chasing it for years,
To keep my head above the water even though I can't swim and I'm no good at running either.

Now I'm not even sure how I got here,
The anxiousness started yesterday,
But can I remember why?
I'm pretty sure I was just stressed with life so I thought about avoidance,
But this is one of my easier days;
So it doesn't make sense.
If I get out of this I'll be upset with myself:
For not doing normal things like everyone else,
But I never wanted to do it in the first place,
Which gets me to thinking
Did I work myself up into this state?
All on my own, without the so called "social anxiety" monster trying to catch me again?
Avoiding will mean questions asked,
Which means socialising
And probably ending up going,
Because if they're doing it I'll feel bad because they're in a worse place than me,
I'm just nothing.
This is why I want to just
d i s a p p e a r
Avoid all this fear
Why is that not possible?
Why can I not just stop it all.
I'll have to email to get the work anyway.
Existing causes so much hassle,
It's like attempting to live normally is an endless battle.
I know I swapped what person I was writing in but it was intentional because when thinking about something making you seem small it can be like imagining someone younger feeling how you do, also that may be easier to imagine by displacing your emotions from yourself and that's kind of how I felt when I wrote it I guess. Even though you may think it's stupid and I'll probably curse myself over and over for being annoying and doing it, this is why I kept it like that.
Infinity Sep 2017
The trees quiver in the cool winter winds,
Dancing silhouettes soaking in the rain

Analysis, analysis, paralysis, I will be the end of us
Incessant thoughts swirl through my mind. I cannot
Control their poison spreading through my veins,
To my nerve endings, shattering all illusions of control

We were birds soaring in the sunlit sky
Majestic, wings flutter and stabilize
Blinded by the sun, unaware
Of the details
High with adrenaline, on illusion

We are birds, shying away from the gray
Gloom of the winter sky when it is
About to rain.
This is a poem about overthinking and avoidance
Pineapple Isle Jul 2017
I have been seeking comfort for so long
I don't want to deal with the hard things
The unpleasant or mundane
In some ways, I was never taught how

But I can't shake this feeling that I need more
Seeking comfort brings on stress, anxiety, pain
I can't handle all of it

I've been struggling to change for a long time
What will it take?
I want to be ready
I decide to do things
But following through is easier said than done

How much more will I allow to fall before it's enough?
I say it's enough.
It's not like it will hurt.
Calm down.
Nothing will happen to the ones who run away,
We're safe
Because we're already looking the other way.

Keep going if you want to,
But where else would you go
When there's nowhere left to hide?
The truth is one thing,
But it's not ours
We escape down the drains,
Some say we're deranged,
If only they knew
It's what keeps us sane:
We run the hell away.
D Mar 2017
a self inflicted isolation
all to avoid the confirmation
    that I simply don't belong
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