I was talking and

didn't take notice of the ball –


until it hit me.

Hungry gaze,
Craving respite,
Satisfied seeing you,
Drinking in the sight.

I rather be a single, petite daisy,
compared to a bouquet of thorny,
seductive dripped red roses
who get all the bees attention
while I get a beautiful, delicate butterfly

I’m going to be honest
I never wanted to put down any piece of this nature again
But anytime I woke up,  I want to write about you
What could I possibly write when I am not much of a poet
And it  appears as if no metaphor could  satisfy my admiration for you.

And then,  I want to speak to you
Not only because I want to know how you are,
I also want to unzip my heart to you,
To tell you that you are the joy in a glasshouse, you are beautiful, magnificent and heavenly adorned and I yearn for you.
And then, I realized that my speech tract couldn’t  let out the words from my heart.

Sometimes I wonder why this is happening,
I know, I could talk like a parrot anytime I want to
But I got slides like a carrot when I hear the vibration in your voice.

I must have written some similar stuffs like this,  hoping that somehow  you’ll jump out of the page and feel exactly as I feel,but fortunately all I get is thanks.

You know, I also love chatting with you  but anytime you replied
It appears  as if we are like charges,  so we repel (I won't know what next to say).

The amazing thing is, as all these keeps happening
These feelings I have for you keep getting stronger despite the fact that it seems we are not so connected
But connection isn’t love,  you are naturally attracted to my soul.

Though I could not find a perfect explanation to this puzzle,
But I know from the deepest part of my heart that I love  you.
And this love is patient, it’s strong,  it’s not a deception but true, it’s not Haram but Halal
It’s hopeful and powerful, it’s not my choice but divine just as you, is an attraction and irresistible.

I know there are things I haven’t known
I know there are pleasures unexplored
Feelings in excess unexpressed
I know there are desires hidden I this chest

And then there’s you
You know the things of this life
You make me precariously careless
U set me on fire, I’m burning with interest

But its not just the knowing of knowing
There’s something about you
Your words make me a mess yet caress  
The way you look at me makes my morals less

I know we’re falling in deeper
I know that there’s no turning back
I’m still convalescent from the present
Our past and future I’ll come to resent

We know that it’s now inevitable
Since that first step we’ve been running
Since that first attraction, first reaction
We’ve been each other’s distraction
distraction

I know what we are, our intentions
I know you don’t want a relationship
I know we are only ephemeral not perpetual
I know that what we have is only ******

But…

I know that I’m plummeting
Into feeling and affection for you
Not matter how much I lie and deny
I know for you I would lay down my life.

Looking in from the outside,
Observing, watching from the side.
Hoping you would look my way,
Afraid you would notice and look away.

Your smile,
Is like a catalyst.
Making my endorphins rise,
Pumping my blood,
Making my hormones flood.
Pushing me to a level that
I never know I could be.

I'm afraid,
Afraid I would lose my head.
Cuz we are so different in two,
So different that when I'm thinking of you,
I kinda merged into you.

When I see you,
Excitement overflows but I couldn't let it show,
Hidden well inside me
Like you are just somebody,
But the truth is,
You are someone I feel heartily.

Guessing games gone in action in my head,
He loves me, he loves me not.
I guess it's not,
And it hurts even if it's just a thought.

Please, please,
Please like me back,
I would pray.
But I know life doesn't always go my way.

Your tease,
Even just a few words make me feel at ease.
Even if I don't show,
I can't stop my heartbeat grow.

Silently I hope,
Hope that you are someone
Who would accept my flaws.
So that I could let my personality flow,
And make our differences glow.

Searching, looking for hints,
Finding your interest through the little things.
For a miracle,
That's what I'm wishing.

I spin myself a web of lies;
Lies that are disguised as the sweetest nectar
Yet contain a sickly poison within -
Killing yet comforting with every dose.

My tainted spell bewitches me,
To the point where both
mind and matter are
completely controlled by my
pleasurable pain,
And when my sense rejects this impulse my
insatiable heart clamours for more
and more,
pushing me to the brink of insanity -
Insanity that no one but my desire is to blame.

And what lies can influence the logical mind so?
Lies of unspoken passion which only my eye can see,
if my eye is to be believed.
Fantasies of requited need and longing,
Dreams of endless wonder at what could be
and what might be, maybe.

I don't want to believe my lies anymore
For they fool my silly heart,
Yet perhaps my lies are the only thing
Keeping my heart from breaking.