in love, yes
with people, no

more inclined, i think
to fall for experiences

and animals and trees
and the taste of coffee in the morning

and the feel of accomplishment
after a long night spent writing

in love, i am
with maybe some people

no one personal,
two idols at most

in love, yes
with people, no

more inclined, i think
to fall for the sunset

and a relieving gust of breeze
on a humid day

and the art hung
on the walls of rustic cafes

in love, yes
with no one in particular

in love with life
even on days spent wishing for its end

a toxic sort of love, perhaps
perfectly suited for the likes of me

chemically imbalanced,
in brain and body

I don’t want to make a big ordeal,
but the way you see me is not ideal.

The world expects me to conceal,
but wouldn’t that be unreal.

Now that I’m saying this it feels surreal,
like someone grabbed my steering wheel.

My body feels like oatmeal,
and I’m trying not to kneel.

You turned this into a newsreel,
I wish I could repeal.

I tried to be stainless steel,
but you’re a spiked heel.

When you pushed me away I really felt it.

I felt like I couldn't breathe.

You were nice to everyone else but me.

I couldn't understand!

How could you be mad at me for being myself?

I'm asexual and aromantic.

You're ****** and romantic.

How can we be together?

Easy, we just weren't
©

A peg of person
Hanging on my word
Show'd itself to me
Wooden, carved roughly
Surfaced on linen, varnish
Shallowed man.

He felt nothing to me, at me
He told me riddle body *****
I ignored, bored hated words of worry
But felt them myself, little
Anti-anti-anticipations
And trembling lumps of merryweather met us

But we came to a pond, and drank the green green wealth
We spun a little, splashed like ripples do
Onto a blank canvas of a conversation
Muddy murky words came out
'*** *** ***' little bee, buzz for pollen, buzz for me
I couldn't. I'm not.

I'm not another, you're different, distinto
I'm feeling nothing, angsty man,
Through rides and fairgrounds together
I found a lost child, and he set me
I told you who I am and I found me.

Roughly cut, varnished wooden man
Burned in envy, dusted away
I felt nothing, watched his anguish
And figured, hammered, rutted out
A sense of self-belonging,
I guess we don't belong, I guess we make our own self-pity,
But at least we know.

I said goodbye, he did not, I left the day before yesterday
I wrote a confusing poem to figure it out
And people read it
Quietly I confined myself to words and Bibles written for me
For a bitter version of myself
I burned away, burned away,
Burned my, burned my burned away.

Twenty seven years:
Of doubt and fears
Silence and tears
Future is unclear.

New identity embrace:
Not just a fad or craze
Done walking in a maze
Yep happily I am an Ace.

Gay.
Lesbian, Bi.
Love is Love.
Girl, Girl. Boy, Boy.
Not liking the opposite ***.
Like or loving the same ***.
Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Intersex, Asexual Community.
You are not unnatural or weird.
Coming out of the closet.
Being who you are.
Pride within yourself.
Loving Yourself.
Gay.

Straight.
Girl, Boy.
Love is Love.
Male, Female. Male, Female.
Not liking the same ***.
Liking or loving the opposite ***.
Being seen as normal in today’s society.
You’re not any different than gays.
Not coming out to anyone.
Being who you are.
Pride within yourself.
Loving yourself.
Straight.

You offered me your body,
I offered in return:

A tuna fish sandwich,
A nice piece of carnelian,
Maybe a book or two about odd things
like death by electrocution or Leonardo da Vinci
or the history of the upright bass,
Endless records,
Enough jazz to paint the world blue,
My mouth forming the shapes of notes,
A breath from my own lungs,
The scarf which was lovingly knit for me
by my one remaining friend,
Lipstick, bright red and smooth,
Feathers from a hawk that I found by the road,
Dried pink roses from a corsage,
Two baby teeth in a container that once held film,
Hair shorn with a dull kitchen knife,
A collar of cracked burgundy leather,
Sachets smelling faintly of lavender,
A mirror which was cracked on my thirteenth birthday,
One lace glove.

Why did you leave?

I can't speak of tender touch--
Hands sweep, lips brush--
Ever closer, that's close enough.

I can't describe you close to me--
Sweet breath, buckled knees--
No further, stop please.

I can feel the tempting sway—
Blushing cheeks, flirtatious gaze—
Wanting you, just not that way.

Please love me regardless?