so you smiled when I talked and I didn't know what to do....
I knew I had fooled you.
I didn't mean to or want to but before I knew it all this power was in the palm of my hands.
and I was slipping under the pressure
you told me you loved me and all of a sudden I felt sick
I wanted to say it back as easily as you said it to me but I couldn't
the words were choking me as I tried to let them free.
love.
god, why was it so hard?
you were everything I needed and nothing I deserved
but you loved me wasn't that all that's supposed to matter?
wasn't that supposed to be enough?
you said it with such confidence....
and maybe I didn't say it back because I couldn't believe someone loved me when I hardly could.
but this wasn't about me this was about everything you would whisper in my ear late at night that made me sick to my stomach.
I begged myself to put on a mask and pretend everything was okay for your sake.
and it worked for a little while
but hiding became harder and harder....
you began to notice and every time you looked at me I could see it quietly breaking you
I really didn't want it to
for me to be the reason of that look
but I just didn't love you....

I heard you finally found someone....
someone who can give you thing's I guess I never could,
even though I tried:
I'm so happy that your dreams came true like you always wanted
and I promise you I tried really hard to stay away....
but I needed to see for myself if everything was okay
there was always a fire in your eyes I pray it didn't go away
but as time flew away I wanted to make sure it was still there
from our glory day's.
I also wanted to apologize
It's all my fault anyway
because I know I will never find someone like you.

Step a little closer
Don't be afraid.
I am merely the monster
Everyone else has made.

Gone is my innocence
My purity my youth.
This world has changed me
It's the evil truth.

Cursed by vanity.
Plagued by insanity.
Caught in the charade
Of life's endless masquerade.

Between the heartache
And pain,
I've lost myself
And will never be the same.

Drowning in deceit
Lies have taken full affect.
Tortured by reality
The agony I inject.

Pieces of me have died
A little bit one by one.
I'll continue breaking
Until I have none.

Strength is a virtue
I was born without.
That came to me later
After learning what this world is all about.

So why should I apologize
For the monster I've become?
No one has ever apologized
For the damage they have done.

By:
T.K.

I want you to know something.
It's okay to ask for help.
It's not embarrassing; it's brave
To admit you don't know something
And want to change.
I ask that you don't worry
That people will think less of you
If you do. You're trying to learn.
And that's something you should
Never apologize for

I wanna run into the night
but I always end up tangled up in your arms
lately everywhere I turn to I bump right into you
I wanna tell you to *******
but it comes out as "I'm sorry"
lately everything I say sounds like an apology
I'm still just a kid, I'm still on my knees
begging you to love me