If the scars on my soul would appar as wounds in my flesh i would chip away to nothing but bone.

i dont want this
im in such a vulnerable state
i was uncomfortable
and you knew that
you had the nerve to
make me feel bad
when i already have my death bed laid
so beautifully
i didnt have a choice
i just wanted to sleep
but you kept begging so i gave in
you got what you wanted
and im just there
laying there, i was shaking
if you held a gun to my head,
just pull the trigger
let it happen
I have nothing to lose at this point

fear keeps me here
stagnant and sorry
vindictive and caged
I waited for years
for an apology
or a reason, at least

I let the vultures
pick through parts of me
you left out on the street
scattered and shameful
harrowed and hungry
waiting for anything

The game is unbalanced
Everyone has a definition of “fair play”
We all try to fight for our own causes
Causing chaos and disarray
Who’s right? Who’s wrong?
Apparently it’s whoever out of all of us
Is the strong one
And the rest cry victim, feel outdone
No one likes to be ostracized, left outside
So let’s all write a disclaimer: we tried
Wear it across our foreheads as a banner
So no one asks and causes us to stammer
It’s you against the world, isn’t it?
Go ahead, scream like you mean it
You hope someone will hear and save you
But if you aren’t willing to make it happen
You’ll never fix this point of view
You’ll never be able to win

**** the glass ceiling
It's too high in the sky
I'm still at rock bottom
Only wanting to cry.

Let someone else break it
I'm too weak to move
Maybe this was a mistake
I have nothing to prove.

the entire time She was there I just kept thinking,
“what does she have that I don’t?
Is she thinner?
Is she prettier?
Is she smarter?
Does she have a better personality?” Etc.
So frustrating that i spent so much time comparing myself.
I ******* hate her; but I say that knowing **** well I don’t hate her.
Of course I don’t hate her.
I hate her role in everything that has happened.
I hate the way she played a part in my sadness.
I hate the parts of her I see in myself
and the parts of me I see in her.
I hate the idea of being second best
I hate the idea of not being worthy enough
and instead being left for someone else,
even if they don’t get together