I waited in vain for your validation
In hopes that maybe you’d see me
The way I saw you, beloved
Sadly, you viewed me like thin air

While I was mesmerized by your cappuccino skin
And the way your hair danced in the wind
You couldn’t give a **** about me
I was just one of many who looked your way

Even as I would ignore you in plain sight
I would beg for your attention in my head
But you only threw crumbs at me
Like I was some lost street pigeon

Keep your linty crumbs for someone else
The hell you think you are?
I am deserving of so much riches
Yet I feel like some vagabond

I am full of feelings
Everywhere
All the time
Sometimes they are so powerful
They consume me alive
Materialize Madness
Incite my moral decline

Angrily hanging up a smartphone lacks gravitas - jabbing a virtual button doesn’t offer the satisfying, physical release of slamming down a receiver.

You think I fear you?
You are nothing,
I repeat you are nothing.
A dust mite.
Trapped, cornered, scared.
I am the mower.
Coming to do a job,
Cut the bad seed.
Save the crops.
But there you are.
This isn't Horton hears a Who.
For me this is just a normal day.
But you,
Well this is a horror film.
I'm the main villian,
Big difference is,
I leave no survivors,
I'm the only reoccurring character.
Now tell me who fears who...

Sometimes, when I’m around you
I wonder
How much would it take
To push my heart back into place

To reach in
And stop it from pounding
And pounding
Against my ribs
The sound so loud in my ears
The throbbing pressing against my lungs

Leaving no room
No space

For
The air
I so
Desperately

Desperately

Need.

Tell me.
How much longer
Until
You
Leave.

My words are merciless,
Over time they get so much energy
They gather up and like a wave
And fiercely run over the ocean
They swell up from the welled up anger
Nobody could be saved from this monstrous motion
These glutinous tides hold the power
To destroy everyone in their wrath

But all they do is crash against the rocks

There were things I kept in my heart
Buried deep within their graves
They were meant only to be whispered
Now in this storm of life I have to shout them out
I can’t keep quiet anymore
Can’t act artificial and leave doubts
Keep the secrets locked in the store
Call me a billion of things but know,

All I ever am is an unorthodox