(Utterances)

Year ending brings to mind
past occurrences....
and matching
utterances
::::::::::

...when making quick, vital decisions.....and ambiguity takes center stage:

"what if....."
"****** if you do,
****** if you don't!"

...when angered by uncertainty...and results are no longer important:

"what will be,
will be..."
"come hell
or high waters..."

...when love and reason are conflicting my already confused mind:

"selflessness...
right moment...
patience...
unconditional
hope...love...faith
never hate..."

...when pressed for time...whether i like it or not:

"what then?
give way...
another time?
but, when?
just wait..."

...there is only i, me, myself......to face the consequences...

words....and....me,
through thick and thin...
through life...
cruising.....

...in whatever point i may arrive...there's no turning back...

whatever happens
whichever words are said,
whatever my feelings are,

i start and end my day
with a grateful smile...

i live through each day
....make it through each night...

(a group of 10W)


Sally

Copyright December 29, 2015
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enigmatic super moon was the only woman,
he fell madly in love with, in his entire life;
that's how the history of his life has become
an imaginary tale, a myth written in invisible ink.

there are two ways to breathe.

one is through the splinters.
the carved out,
thickly bleeding
respiratory tract
receding.

a futile attempt to enjoy the air
blown over like
a house with
no foundation.

the other is to
close your eyes.
and hope
that the hurricane
does not
cut off oxygen.

because
nirvana
is not a choice.

it is an island
somewhere deep in the ocean
waiting to be discovered.

i am ambidextrous – i can count how many times you’ve hurt me on both hands and i am ambivalent, i love you but i hate you

there is a certain ambience i recall in flashbacks and unspoken memories, however it fades as quickly as my smile when your name is mentioned

there is so much ambiguity in your eyes when you gaze at me – i stopped marvelling over you and your thoughts and instead marvelled over myself

who am i, without you? what am i, without you?

i am a life of ambition
you are a life of indifference

Love your duplicity

(your unfolded closeness
makes me react
with uncertainty)

—you are my pain and my delight
(a delayed action)

—you are my cold passion
(a kind subtlety)

—you are my nice thorn
(a future unborn)

—you are the venture I fear
(a welcomed intensity)

You are Life, oh beloved,
in its purest form

The world was born from Chaos
Said the Greeks
"Chaos"
The first god
In mythology

And then Chaos came to Science

Even Chemistry tells us
The world runs on Entropy
Disorder
Is what particles are prone to

Shakespeare knew so too
His characters
Stricken by disarray
Heartbreak and Confusion
Running their worlds
Alongside Love

We try to straighten things out

Make the unknowns known
Fasten truths to untruths
Iron the wrinkles out of our minds

But living
Comes with Chaos
We are born from it

Living means our clothes
Become wrinkled
That there are now dishes to clean
And beds to make

That our knowns expand and implode
That we make messes
And Engage in ambiguity

Chaos runs through our world
While we let the forms dance around us


~ JL

Run away from me, fella..
Tuck away to a corner, or a groove
I’ll still find you right there,
Just to shackle your every move

Will I die within an instant,
Or will it **** me slow,
Everyone’s still stuck at a question
What will it be? A Yes or a No?

‘FEAR’ is what they call me!
I have stopped to be a feeling,
What remains at the core though is just the ambiguity,
I’ve already lost my meaning.

what a shame it is
i dont know a ******* thing
about you mama

A horizon and a half to see-
he's putting mind over matter,
and I think it might matter.
But how is one to find out?

Does the Jellyfish not sting,
or the caged bird sing?

My answers are not confident,
despite some marvelous attempt.
I'm still held in contempt
over a crime drowned below the surface.

She raised the platform, fortunately.
And unfortunately,
she was only there hypothetically.

(She still has no idea

…

okay, I ate the last chocolate.
***** me.)

Next time,
I'll catch you if you fall.
And cage you if you sing.

I cannot express myself
Not the way letters have sounds
And the way words have means
Because means have ends.

I cannot find a way to define my experience
Because definitions have conditions
And every definition is defined
By one mans minds eye.

I cannot find my voice
Because the keys are in the Kingdom of my choice
And if my choices are made in duty to the words you say

How can my words carry voice?