White so pure,
it's cleanliness sure.

Now soaked with dread
and flecked with red.

Heat of me melts into puddle,
my mind will fade and words will muddle.

Steel in chest and searing pain,
my face feels droplets of the winter's rain.

Fur of fire-blackened and bloodied,
as I lay with vision muddied.

No one will come though they look in flocks,
for I am just a simple fox.

i know this darkness.
it wraps around me
like an old sweater—
worn, frayed,
but familiar.

happiness knocks at my door
like a stranger with bright eyes,
offering sunlight,
offering warmth.

but sunlight burns.
and warmth fades.
and what if i can’t keep it?
what if it leaves
like everything else?

so i stay here,
in the shadows i’ve named home,
where sadness hums
a lullaby i’ve memorized.

because even pain
feels safer
than hope
that might shatter.

Indebt to the armor below par,

    I soldered myself a new one.

           I was enamored with the illusion,

                      But...

                        ­         Alone in my reflection.

The mountain calls to me, demands my presence, I meet its gaze.

Me: What do you want from me?

Mountain: I want you to climb to the peak

Me: I can’t bring anyone else with me

Mountain: I do not ask of you to bring anyone else, in fact, you should leave them behind, now climb me

Me: No, I can’t just do that

Mountain: Whether you listen to them or listen to me, makes no difference but I know you, and you want to climb, with no safe pathway down, no net to hold you, you want to see from this height and this height alone

Me: What if I want off?

Mountain: Then jump, but know the ground awaits you, you are never free

I stand in its shadow.