I write these words today
in hope that you might find a way
to know what is carved
into my heart.

I've searched for you
my whole life through
in every town or place,
I've been.

I know somewhere you must be there,
a belief my heart and mind both share
and they've reserved,
a place for you.

Though I often dream of you,
dreaming is all that I can do
so I just carry on,
along my lonely way.

Please hear my pleading heart
so that we may start,
to make all those dreams
come true.

With this hearts lament,
I must be content,
to hope, that you
might love me too.

For wherever you are,
no matter near or far,
this lament is sung...
just for you.

The cold lies thick
over the world like dust
as if no one has been
there for a long time

and I have been
forgotten or overlooked
left behind as if I couldn't
be taken with them

No one with whom I can
share what I feel, the cold
since you've been gone, the cold
since I've been home alone

No one
to tell that
I have lost you
my dear darling

All alone
No one
who sees, who knows
that I miss you

Why am I not good enough?

I gave you
A piece of me
Under the impression
That you
Would put a piece of you
Back in its place.
But time and time again,
I am left wanting.
Empty
And alone
With nothing left
To give

Your words cut deep
like daggers as they leave your mouth
but all my brain hears is
he loves me,
he loves me,
he loves me

I wanted you to love me
so I tried to play your game
I changed everything about myself
but for me you never changed.
I wanted you to love me
so I made myself so small,
but I loved, and cared, and nurtured you,
I wanted you to have it all.
I wanted you to love me,
I became a chameleon just for you,
I thought the harder I love, the better you'd be
but in the end that wasn't true.
I wanted you to love me
I changed my attitude, my clothes, my hair.
I  became so unrecognizable
you didn't even ******* care.
I will never be enough for you
no matter how hard I try.
I think it's time to let you go
I think it's time to say goodbye.
But God, I wanted you to love me
the way no one ever had
but now I've come to realize
loneliness doesn't sound so bad.

Golden leaves are bright
I love the hue of the sky
Fall brings me so much joy
Even I enjoy autumn nights

My favorite movie's playing
My dog is by my feet
I'm surrounded in a popcorn blanket
and can laugh genuinely

Sometimes I wish I could share this
But for the first time in a while
I feel happy alone with my dog
Drinking hot chocolate with the window open

One by one
the list gets longer.
Promises of continuity
turn into emotional tourism.
The word "goodbye"
has built a permanent home
behind my teeth.
But despite the familiarity,
I am still left with a bitter taste.
Alone, I choke on the silence
as I sit in the presence
you once filled
wondering what the hell
is so wrong with me
that no one ever stays