Brown bottles filled with hops
It seems to be the only physical evidence left
Eleven sit on my bedside table
Ten you finished, one I couldn't, and one unopened
The smell of you is gone from my clothes
Gone from the blanket I hope kept you warm
I still feel your hand on my thigh
Your deep laugh vibrating against my chest
Your hair between my fingers
For now the only thing I can hold between my hands
Is a beer bottle gone stale
But every time I look down at my cold hands
I remember how warm they felt holding you

8 billion people in the world—
and here i am drowning in an infinity pool of self-pity.
i tell myself one day i will stop.
swim back towards the edge, gasping for breath, a new life to transform into.
and here i am drowning in an infinity pool of self pity.

Drunk mit dem joint,
forcing myself to write
Listening to songs I know
work me up
Feeling their message deep
I wouldn't feel
this way if it were another time

In the bar where sad things grow,
           Where(s) Happiness(?),
is pumped in Like champagne through IV.
I-found-us-strung-together-again-
          “ Now
I’m the type of person
                                 to-
                         fall-
**** near in love with gratitude. ”
“ Like that glancing smile,
Hidden behind a mask of bourbon and-
all ten hail marys you replaced
                 with ****** ones. ”
“ And if gratitude gets you this far?
Just imagine what the *** is like. ”

Al's been my friend since I was in the seventh grade.
I remember meeting him and instantly feeling his gravitational pull.  
Instantly becoming friends that were inseparable.
He was the only one there for me through the rough and happy moments.
From reckless teenage days all the way to long college nights.
Sadly, things took a turn and our friendship has become a dependency.
I need Al to fall asleep.
To go to class.
To function.
How do I tell O'le Al that this friendship has to end?
O'le Alcohol... I'm sorry.. this friendship has to come to an end...
I think it's time we both go our separate ways.

Pink fluffy apples
Green juicy flamingos (hiccup)

     Black sour marmalade
(hiccup)

              Orange lumpy liquorice

Purple tangy mushroom

              White rich yoghurt

  (hiccup)

               (hiccup)
                            
                            (hiccup)

What did you put in my drink?

I hide behind these walls of mine,
Oh how much safer that I feel.
A glass of wine to pass the time,
Oh how I conceal all that is real.