Some days I'm okay
Others I have nothing to say
Some I don't even whine
Others I just lie and say I'm fine.
Broken thoughts of a damaged mind
A crumpled heart caused by loves that left me behind
The soul that seems to have left.

Not sure of what to say or think
Numbing the pain with another drink
An ashtray full of suicidal thoughts I'm trying to sink.
They come to the surface and are pushing me to the brink.

Some days,
I just want to live my life, a couple kids and a wife
Others I dream of the afterlife ..

My great grandmother,
passed away 10 years ago,
but last night,
she stood at my bedside.
She told me the story,
of the beautiful butterfly,
who feared to fly.  
She told me,
this butterfly was beautiful,
much more than the rest.
Her wings shone of gold,
with a deep silver hue.
She was so beautiful,
but she always wept.
She feared,
her wings were broken.
Then came the day,
when she looked
towards the sky,
only to see the
rest of the butterflies
begin to fly.
That's when she realized,
now was her time.
She stretched out her wings,
and leapt off the vine.
She fluttered her wings,
and was lost to the sky.
She had faith in herself,
and her wings
carried her just fine.

Another day in the life
A shadow cast upon the earth
Cold atmosphere caresses your skin
Warm blood is the gift of birth
Iron flavor coats your tongue
Swallow the ***, for the next of kin
Begins again, and again, until
You learn life's final lesson.

I knew you as a person
who wore daffodils in her hair;
dancing barefoot in the fields.
Always unpredictable,
your aura, like an aurora of Pandora's open box.
Recklessly compassionate in your unrelenting affection.

I remember when they told me
that you had passed away.
I watched as they returned your body to the earth.
They say that you're in heaven now,
but I don't know how this can be true
when every day I still feel you in my heart.

Maybe your daisy chain was a halo
and the fields that you danced on were clouds.
I think I finally understand.
I knew you as a person,
but maybe you weren't.
Maybe you were just an angel
that got lost along the way.

We all do know this is true

That life one day we must leave

By a gruesome unwilling way

Or by the time of aging naturally

But the thing I must now implore

Is your thoughts on a life after this

As I lay unmoving in my stony grave

Will my soul feel as if it's amiss?

So mermaids, humans, elven and wolves

Please give me a piece of your time

What do you think become's of our souls

While our bodies rest buried beneath lime

Muted color
On darkest day                                          
There was a light
to show the way

In dreary towns
My eyes were bound
To the misty lights
Up on the cloud

What is that phenomenon?
Where did it go?
The place we are seeking
We shall never know.

As our eyes droop down
And our smiles go flat,
It is easy to see
That we shall never go back

To that muted color
On that darkest day
Where that light to guide us
Showed the way

Immortality is over
We are now doomed
To succumb to our future
As our destinies loomed.

As we were shot down
To the pits of Tartarus
My fate was no longer
Ambiguous

We were forgone
Forever to roam
The pitch black world
Always to moan

That muted color
On darkest day
Was unfortunately one
To never stay

Who would've thought a disturbed poets worst fear will be death?
All his poems will make your ***** brim with sadness
Each stanza hints suicide
Every line is a cry for help
And you think the only escape from his misery is to cease breathing
But little do you know he fears to take that last breath.
He fears the unknown
The blankness and darkness that is assumed when we think about that last breath
He fears that the God he disbelieved in will punish him for eternity by hurling him into the depths of the blazing fire
He fears that the misery he'll face in the after life will be incomparable to that he faced on earths soil.

He also fears to leave the world still feeling alone and unloved
He fears to leave with that heart of his still aching and broken
And without kissing the lips of the woman he hoped to Amend it.

Suffice to say I'm afraid of death.

if there's a place between the heavens and hell

that may be the place i belong to