afraid to live,
afraid to sin,
afraid to drown
in a bottle of gin.

There are those who walk through life,
on eggshells.
And so, more than death, more than the sky, or the open ocean,
They fear
people.
Not the things they'll do or say,
but what they won't.
That they won't
love them.
That they won't
care for them.
And this, is a great historic tragedy my friends.
For at the feet of introversion,
lie a thousand friendships never made,
stories never told,
and lifetimes never lived.

I'm afraid I won't feel you
I'm afraid  I won't  touch you
I'm afraid I wont  look at myself
through your  eyes ,
in your eyes
clear blue peaceful mirrors
I'm afraid I won't be there no more
I'm afraid us is no more
Deep inside no more
Wondering eyes no more
Just pain indescribable pain...
Your eyes will turn to memory
I will be just a memory
And this life will be no more

i thought of how it's going to be my final year in high school,
senior year,
year 12,
fourth year in high school,
the final year.

and i begin to remember how every time you came home after school and cried on the porch outside.
i heard your cries from the living room.
i remember you telling me everything that happened,
good and bad,
mostly bad.

it made me afraid of high school.
it made me afraid of my senior year.
i don't really remember your smile during that year when it came to school.
i don't want to fill your shoes.
i'm already an anxious person already,
i don't want to be afraid of the year that scares me the most.

Alone...
The night creeps upon you,
you shiver and try to hide,
but it closes in from all sides.

Alone...
Fear rushes through your body,
afraid of what the night conceals
or -- of what it can reveal.

Alone...
Eyes wide open,
shadows begin to take shape,
on the walls and on drapes.

Alone...
The darkness poisons your sleep,
even as it caresses your skin,
your heart beating fast within.

Alone...
Darkness wraps you in its cold arms.
Paralyzed, a single tear drops
and you scream for it to stop

Alone...

ALesiach © 01/30/2015

We come alive,
To start the Journey of life,
Destined to face many a strife,
Meant to die and go to the afterlife.

Time is my master they say,
It's what brings old age,
And dictates all change,
To race with it is both unwise and strange.

Yet if I were to choose,
I'd take the chance to get loose,
Escape from time's grasps,
And exist for as long as freedom lasts.

Time will stop for me,
And I wont have to watch my parents grow old,
Or my little dog grow weak.
Ain't it nice, no more worries.

Yet time stops for no one,
It's a fairy tale dream i know,
Yet still a noble dream to dream.
So I'll hold on cause I'm afraid,

And I wish time would stop for me...