COVID-19 presented respiratory challenges to the world. If that wasn’t difficult enough to live through now, I am George Floyd.

Unable to breath,
I sleep with the light on tonight, wondering if there is any light left in America.

And just like that my heart split in two, stained with black grief + ache for my black kind. My African people. My American brotherhood. My family.

I cry.
No longer able to numb myself from reality. If there was ever a challenge with loving each other - as black & brown people - my prayer is that it cease.

No matter our peculiarities, differences, social status, ***, last name... I LOVE YOU and I see

I must continue each day loving my black & brown people- stranger or familiar- with each sun rise and every sun set. I won’t let my fear of the unknown prevent me from loving you. For my next eight minutes + forty six seconds may be my last breathe.

RED RED ‘O RED’
You come too often now
I thought you died when I moved
I thought you left when I stopped reading the news
I thought I murdered you when I shut my ears
But you are back
Why did I deny your existence in the first place?
Why did I want you dead?
Knowledge is power but it is also red
I am afraid of red
When red comes it shows me how ***** the world is
But maybe it’s time to face it instead of running
Maybe I need to find a colour to drown it with
Maybe red can be power
Maybe red is misunderstood
Maybe red is the colour of standing up against oppression
What if red is the bridge to a new colour
If that is the case, I hope we all feel a minute of red
I hope we can feel the world as one
I hope red doesn’t stay
But for now,
Red is 2020s new colour

lunar

i’m sitting scrolling through Instagram taking a 5 minute brain break from my grad class work
about urban education policy which breaks my heart
because education policy and initiatives in urban school districts don’t take into account
poverty
unsafe living conditions
mom working 3 jobs just to put food on the table and keep the lights on
violence
drugs
all of which are exacerbated by the pandemic we’re in right now

all i need is 5 minutes to escape from that
but as i scroll
all i can see is
******
death
sadness
rage

another unarmed back man was murdered by white cops
another cry of “i can’t breathe”
another child died of starvation
another plane crashed
another trans woman of color was murdered
another kid committed suicide
another animal was shot so someone could have bacon for breakfast
another black man was harassed by a white woman while birdwatching in the park
another woman was beaten by her husband while quarantined together

all i need is 5 minutes
to escape the
******
death
sadness
rage
that’s everywhere

i’m just tired
everything i’ve seen today has broken my heart
everything i saw yesterday broke my heart
and the day before that
and the day before that
and the day before that

how can i help make change if i’m so **** tired all the time?

Constantly consumed by containing this beast.
Contagious coughing unleashed from the east.
Calling off concerts, and companies closed.
Controlling the virus, confinement imposed.
Collective conformance to curtail the spread.
Commuting confined to Key Workers they said.
Compulsively cleaning and masks on your face.
Can’t call on or cuddle those outside your place.
Confusion, concealment and contrasting views.
Collapsing economy again on the news.
Collusion, commotion, conflicting advice.
Complaining and cusswords ‘cause nothing’s concise.
Cremations increasing, Care Homes on their knees.
Calling for caution, they’re begging you, please!
Clambering clumsily, crowds out aplenty.
Catastrophic conclusion? This is 2020.

hands pure as snow picking me up from thorns piercing through.
chills overcome as it levitates me above into the air of peace where no home of pain resides.

up, up and away i go leaving rough tracks and stone pathways.

no more pain, no more weight.

What will we do
When the birds fall from the sky,
Their stomachs full of lids,
And beaks wrapped in bags?

What will we do
When the whales wash up,
Their bodies start to rot
And the bottles spill out?

Where will we be
When the wildfires burn,
Turning towns to ash
And the future to rubble?

Where will we be
When the trees are bare,
Turning forests to stumps
And no air to breathe?

Who will save us
When we go to war,
The bodies pile up
And the skies are stained yellow?

Who will save us
When we fall to disease,
We neglect our health
And we're naive to death?

Dancing to the tunes of electric
grooving hand in hand
plastering skin to skin
one in touch,
one in soul.

Feelings tangle
with heart beating
like two bodies as one.