There is general treatment and there is my pain regimen. The doctor will do what they’re most comfortable with. The doctor will move at a glacier pace. The doctor will recite what he assumes to be policies that fit their corrupt agenda. The doctor abuses his power . The doctor is cold and insensitive. The doctor only connects me to a dollar. Doctor Dr. Dollar dollar bad karma.
01/26/21? In between a major shift change at my local hospital, one doctor thought it appropriate to judge me and deny me of what is written in my pain chart.
and allow the old skin to shed.
And rest when sleep comes to me.
Pain and sleepless nights with Sickle Cell
From Spirit's plane to ER, I
Waited 4 hours post triage.
Watched a middle aged white lady wail herself to the front of the line for her pain was the only thing that mattered in a room of other equally ill patients.
My body shocked and perhaps still in the sky.
It was this moment that solidified that I had matured: grown to know long suffering love more that the other traits. Patience was as rooted as my African ancestry, my black race.
This is an observation poem the stings me like Bee mid meditation & reflection. There is so much to unpack and release when the pain is this bad. I am grateful for another outlet that allows me to share my journey.
The glass of water shattering,
in my imagination and almost beyond
like everything else in so many ways
but not me, never me;
I am... the safety
I am the padding of the cell
I am the broken fuse allowing all the light to shine.
I am the possibility that smothers the fear in cradle.
COVID-19 presented respiratory challenges to the world. If that wasn’t difficult enough to live through now, I am George Floyd.
Unable to breath,
I sleep with the light on tonight, wondering if there is any light left in America.
And just like that my heart split in two, stained with black grief + ache for my black kind. My African people. My American brotherhood. My family.
No longer able to numb myself from reality. If there was ever a challenge with loving each other - as black & brown people - my prayer is that it cease.
No matter our peculiarities, differences, social status, ***, last name... I LOVE YOU and I see
I must continue each day loving my black & brown people- stranger or familiar- with each sun rise and every sun set. I won’t let my fear of the unknown prevent me from loving you. For my next eight minutes + forty six seconds may be my last breathe.
George Floyd, BLM, 2020
or be essential.
in order to be.
in your essentials
for you must work
in life to be.
You either stay home or you're an essential worker.
𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 7/26/19
Tell me how to find you.
To find connection with what we are.
Help me to remember better days that contribute to the memories of our life time thus far.
Allow me to assist you with cultivating peace in your mind and get comfortable in this.
However, if none of these move you, love- God help me to accept what it means to thrive without it.
Giving up has never been a reflection of true love.