dawn breaks
eyes open
another day
a little taller but
weaker too
they do say it gets
better
but is better
ever
enough?

oh, my dear
no feelings here
only head
down eyes
shut
no opening
until
dawn

why do i mourn the unlocking of my chains?
seems freedom is what i fear most…

he was all talk
and that says a lot
considering
he rarely spoke
at all.

i take up your
free time.
problem is
you have none.

so i want you to
make time.
problem is
you dont.

you act like
loving me is a
curse you count
down
till the day
you can say
goodbye.

it breaks my heart to think
im not worth
what it takes
to hold me in your arms
and never say goodbye.

what you see
is what you get!
so sit back, relax,
and close your eyes...

wide eyes
sewn shut
20/20 vision
in the dark

i was your home
you watched it crumble
i’m so sorry
i hope it didn’t hurt.

you trusted me
i let you go
and i'm so sorry
we never got to meet.

or maybe we did
i really can't say
but i'm truly so sorry
i didn’t think to say goodbye.

you were a part of me
and i, a part of you
and i'm really so sorry
but i’ll always love you so.

i will always be
too much
yet never enough
for you.

i feel myself closing
in inward inside and
i feel myself folding
collapsing maintaining
no control.

****** feet lead you out of the
cold ice freezes over your
path
you fall

you get back up but you’re
dizzy this time you look right and
left but you
can’t see the sun

or the moon.
there is nothing here
                                    nor
                    ­                       there

except the walls.
four sirens to your sunken vessel.
but then you blink
that shine you see?

it’s your blood on the ground

you turn around.
this land has no direction
but somehow
you know you’ll make it home.

you say that you care
but you don’t say why
am i living a lie
when you tell me goodnight?

do you really love me
or that i love you too?
i wonder what you would do
if i ever left you

would you notice i was gone?
or just move on with your life
would you even bat an eye
and if you did, would you cry?

are you really there for me?
should i trust the things you say?
i think i should go away.

would you let me?

i’m sorry for it all
i don't know where to start but
it's time for me to go

please let me say goodbye.

the walls are up—
you can feel them. your
fingers
graze at their temperament.

ouch, you caught a nick.
so your blood begins to
tric
       kle

and you watch
as your feet begin to
turn that shade of red.
they leave

tracks
as you pace,
you scream,
THIS ISN’T WHAT I WANTED! but

what did you want, my dear?
i’m afraid
those walls
didn’t build

themselves.

where have you gone?
where did you go?
why aren’t you here?
and why don’t i know?

you dimmed the lights
closed your eyes
and so did i.

still felt the weight
and all the pain
when you left marks on my thighs.

i just laid there
weren’t you aware
that i didn’t want to die?

though out of sight
out of mind
you heard me cry.

do you know who i am
at 3am
when i lie quietly awake
and think of him?

please hold on
even when i dont
and tell me i will be ok
even when i wont

green yellow red
its time to go home
what do you miss?
shhh can you hear him?

there's a reason
its not easy
to get used to the quiet.

as once you're used to the quiet,
your timer's just begun.

shut up! i have more friends than you!
and we always get along.
i just sprinkle some sugar and watch from my window
and hear them sing their songs!

now they don’t stay very long,
but it's a small price to pay.
real friends sacrifice, plus
their hearts would burst if they stayed.

but it's okay, really!
i could never let them die.
they say distance makes the heart grow fonder,
and i know they’d never lie.

they just love me so much…
what?! i’m not alone, what do you mean?
i have more than i could ever want! in fact,
they say that i’m their queen.

ding **** the witch is dead
but she lit a fire under my bed
i woke up to the heat
but why did she leave?

the fire under me still burns.

i just keep telling myself to
breathe, but i dont want to
do that anymore
either.

i want there to be a poem that
shuts the door
     lights the fire
and pronounces you dead.

i just can't tell if that's for better,
or for worse.

please don’t touch the glass
i’m startled enough as it is.
everything is warped and i
can’t tell ceiling from wall.

please tell me where i am
and please do so right away.
i’m running out of oxygen and i
need another breath.

please don’t feed me here
i do not intend to stay.
will it crack if i scream?
these are things i must know.

but please don’t walk away
iloveyouimsorryimsogratefulforallyouvedone but
can i walk beside you now?
please

i promise i’ll be good.

shake it off? ive tried but it hasn’t gone too well. you see, in my wildest dreams i’m clean and he does not belong with me but we all love a good love story and i think she knew that when she wrote fearless. we dream of the white horse but it doesn’t come around it never. ever. does. and i think she knew that too. which is good because to be honest i’m sick of waiting. one of the Kardashian's called my girl a snake so it goes but she can do no wrong she really cant. even when she says she did something bad she cant do no wrong. she’s the queen of my heart to be honest so dont blame me, her love makes me crazy. i think she would understand.

i think a lot
about sphynx
no hair to care
for the lemon-shaped eyes
that squeeze shut in the breeze
but do not make lemonade

no sugar either
all protein bro
do you even lift
a finger because EYE do
YEW dont but they dont call you a
sphynx, do they?

oh wait nevermind i sphynx i got confused
eye am not a sphynx i do apologize
but Lucy is, shes my friend.
maybe even more than a friend
eye dont know
its just that shes a

mutant like me
and she pays for it too
just in cancer and heart disease
not with crying and mocking screams
saree i didnt mean to go there
but eye sphynx eyem getting worse

bathing in lava and burning alive
     but melting too, into little rivers that
     drain into the sky and
     down to the earth
     like rain.

          holding the sun and boiling up
          but glowing too, with light
          traveling through space and time
          from heaven
          and her spawn.
    
               reaching for stars and blistering quick-
  
click goes finger against glass.
i giggle at the sight of hurt people hurting one another.
no wonder this one has a 85% on rotten tomatoes.

               but beaming too, up and about and
               everywhere at once
               like-

swipe goes finger against glass.
i smile at the sight of couples breaking up and getting back together.
this one has a 53%.
makes sense.

us.
bathing in lava and burning alive
but melting too, into little rivers that
drain into the sky and
down to the earth
like rain

butterflies.
illuminated by light but flying
into the sun
turning into ash with the snap of a-

click goes finger against glass.
i giggle at the sight of hurt people hurting one another.
oh, no wonder this one has a 85% on rotten tomatoes.

the air smells sweet as i close my eyes
clouds and dreams swirl
into blackness that-

i smile at the sight of couples breaking up and getting back together.
this one has a 53%.
makes sense.

ceiling and floor switch
candle flickers
                              (1mph wind blows it out)
1000mph wind gets it going
again papers turn me
my head in glass
heavy
crashing into the
mattress which holds
my dreams
        my fears
my dreams
               my reality

it all goes quiet
except for the roar of
dust landing on lava
microbes burning alive from the lysol in my
room
everything is there.



                                       but where am i?

lukewarm coffee
still tastes alright
melted ice
still chills

wide ruled paper
still ***** up ink
bleach stained towels
still soak

greasy blowouts
still look okay
chipped gel nails
still shine

broken phone screens
still do turn on
unbound books
still read

insomniacs
still always wake
and the depressed?

they still breathe.

a day to celebrate love
or to feel its absence pulling at the seams of your broken heart.

but a greeting card will do.

you’re here,
though only for a moment.
“if you blink, you’ll miss it,” they say.

though only for a moment,
you’re here.
so keep your eyes open.

i see that you're home,
body curled up in bed
damp pillow underneath
i say you've been missed.

i tell you im sick,
though you should already know
i have dreams at night
but you don't keep them in the morning.

blinded by paradise,
you planned to never return
i told you perfection's impermenant
i guess you('ll be) forgot(ton too).
(but i won't tell you that part)

came back to me shattered,
the pieces diverged
left you bleeding out
but the timer, you set.

so please, dear, do hold on
just consider one last thing:
do you regret going
just because you couldn’t stay?

they
make me
turn me
to We

they live
with pride
with love
they die

love.
thats We
We cares
for me

a team
We’s made
me’s not
afraid

of all
that’s here
alone?
no, dear

cuz they
is me
and me
is We.

like a tumble ****
rolling down a city street—
i dont belong here

and i know it.

oh, how hard it is to face
that what you once loved
is no longer.

and oh, how much harder it is to face
that what you still love
is never coming back.

im addicted to the thought of you

i just cant seem to take my mind
off
you.

i dont like the way that love ends
i think its time to go numb.

ive come to realize
that im here all alone
and i’ve tried to be happy
with being unknown.

but its just so hard
with no one around
i have so much to say
but i don't speak a sound.

so i talk to myself
and my thoughts overflow
but they don't listen either
they say i must go.

away, that is
i know they're not wrong
im not wanted here
i just don't belong.

ive come to realize
im no ones favorite.

i missed you so much
but i dont want to have to keep saying goodbye
it’s just too hard.

you hugged me like you did when we were together
long and tight
you hugged me like you did when you loved me.

and it just made it that much harder to remember that you don’t love me anymore.

thinking about you doesn’t help me,
and it doesn’t help you.

yet i just can’t seem to stop.

i hope she makes you smile
i hope she makes you laugh
i hope she makes you feel special
i hope she makes you feel wanted

i hope she tells you she cares
i hope she tells you she’s proud
i hope she tells you you’re beautiful
i hope she tells you you’re everything she ever wanted and more.


and if she doesn’t,
i hope you think about me.

i miss you so much,
that sometimes i wish we had never met.

but at least i got to call you mine,
even if just for a little.