Calloused is defined as having a hardened area of skin.

But I would venture to guess
That if you looked at my heart
And compared it to
My feet and my hands
That my feet and my hands
Would be in better shape.
See manicures and pedicures exist
But regardless of all the wear on my heart.
There's no procedure that can soften it.

Life has taken sandpaper to me.
Marring me through
Missteps in love
And searing loss.
Leaving me hardened,
Which served its purpose,
At least I wouldn't be easily hurt anymore.

I avoided love.
Not out of fear, I'd tell myself,
But because I was done looking for it.
I'd tell people that I was waiting for love to find me.
And so I'm still waiting
Or hiding.
From the fear of opening up.
From the fear of softening.

It's hard to be yourself
When you know that
You're scarred
Or scared
Or both.
So the callouses come in handy.
Keeping me from pain and hurt.

Actually, I prefer the term hardened to calloused.
Simply for the sake of finding a better connotation.
I'd rather be hardened by my circumstances
Than calloused by them.
I'd rather be hardened by the hurt
Than calloused by it.
And if loss were to strike me in the face again,
I'd rather be hardened,
Instead of calloused.

But if you'd grab a dictionary
You wouldn't be fooled by my attempt,
At clever wordplay.
You'd realize that both are the same,
And that whatever I'd chosen to call myself
Didn't matter.
I was still as broken as ever.
Still scarred.
Still scared.
As hardened
As calloused
As ever.

you

your hands
calloused with the evidence of hard work and pain
your arms
strong and thick from carrying the burdens of life
your back
solid and sore from constant stress
your eyes
sunken and tired

but oh your hands
so soft when they trace my lips
your arms
so tender when you hold me
your back
supporting me through every affliction
your eyes
filled with nothing but love

I get upset at you
not because you do anything wrong
you make me feel loved
you listen to me when I've had a rough day and need to talk
you hold me when I just need to be held

I get upset at you
because I'm upset at myself
for letting you in
for letting you love me

I get upset at you
because I hate having something to lose
I hate feeling this much
I hate losing control

I get upset at you
because you make it impossible
for me to be upset at you

his scent
lingering
on
my skin
my clothes
my bed
my hair
my memories of him

his scent
like cologne and morning kisses
like sunlight peeping in through the shutters
like innocent smiles and laughter laced with love

his scent
reminds me of everything good
and pure in the world

i want his scent all over me
but now
i get it
in fading wafts of air

his scent
to be gone forever
my love
your scent

remembering my love
Sherry Juliet Aug 11

because she built him up so high
that when he looked down from his castle
he realized
he no longer needed her

  Aug 7 Sherry Juliet
Lilac

At midnight
her bones
come alive
and her
soul
which slept through
the day stirs.
Her night is
her day and the
moon
is her sun;
the stars-
her companions,
her silent
companions,
as she drifts through
the dark sky called "her mind"
feeling all
alone.

darling
my love
please don't leave
i want your gentle kisses
i want your hand on my thigh
i want your eyes on me
i want your beautiful words
of love
and poetry
forever

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