12 roses, full of life
love that is true
it always will be
no pedal shall ever fall.

I want to take
these final moments
to let my eternal passion
fill your maturing ears.

I wish the universe didn't
allow us to cross paths then,
it wasn't the right time
I was ready to embrace again,
                                                                you never had.

If only She had it in her hand
of cards a few more spades
and not so many hearts to play
ours would have never broken.

You were just learning,
while I had just learned
it's unfortunate;
life is full of chance

added with a splash of unseen chance,
ultimately leading souls that were meant
to become a divine alliance
split like the cracks of a desert terrain.

I now realize that time
cannot heal every wound
but, I do know confusion over
lost love.

Sadly much of the time,
She has too much to give
to those not quite prepared
or she mistakes your space

                          for the wrong piece.


when the right heart falls in your
invisible painless tear
and you become overwhelmed
hold onto that soul.

because no one deserves the pain
that occurs when
it is ripped out
from your chest.

love and Art, 1991

h. Holveck

the words that flow from my soul

to my veins and out through my fingertips,

to most are obstructed by either confusion, misunderstanding

or whatever other baggage they carry that won't let my abstract thoughts

penetrate their unfortunate heavy epicenter.



never have my expressions been powerful enough to break them,

i met you, spent half a day with you, and you left,

that was it, gone, just like that,

1,000's of miles away.



but however, whatever ill-fated scenario that was,

we speak to each others soul, lover we don't even have the same native tongue,

yet you understand my core better than any other that has ever entered my leading light.



i'm taken back to a child-like state,

i feel scared, forlorn.

i'm afraid just like an absent father,

you will provide me with certainty that it will happen.



sweetheart, i hate to break this to you but,

age doesn't pause for life, love or the desire to pursue you

as scary as it may be, if what is spoken to me is true

that dive, as deep, as dark as it may be, know i am writing to you from the depths.

i vow, i won't let you drown. please, babe, dive in,  

my skin is only withering without you.



love & art, 1991

henk holveck

i hoped every word in my poems
knocked the bricks off your wall of fear
i would have held you, protected you and loved you
until my last breath.

unfortunately, your doubts overshadowed my transparency
it is not a surprise as i have become used to the exit door
when the right human does come i will have so much love to share
i wish you the best, my friend...

im not going to sit here and lie
your beautiful and gentle glow will be missed
but i know there's nothing i could do
as you have made up your mind

i will always be here
i am in love with what we had
you brought me no stress
no lonliness and no fear

love and art, 1991,
henk holveck

please leave your judgment of me

you and i may choose separate ways

but ultimately we both will have regrets,

both will experience what it means to love

im henk holveck.

not the name given to me at birth,

why? it takes far too much innocence

and causes far too much guilt to hear such bitter words.

when you are ten and you absorb the words,

you immediately lose all your trust,

you don’t know what or who to believe,

i wish i had some more answers

i don’t blame my guardians,

as they didn’t know either

but now that im a grown androgynous mind

i feel more alone every second

i feel as though i’ve raised myself…

and by that i mean had to raise myself to manage emotions

to this day when i feel lonely im told to fold it up,

into ignorant acid soaked paper as green and painful as discharge.

everyone who still talks to me likes to ask

what happened? why did you turn out like this?

i just politely smile and tell them,

i was born to be misunderstood.

because this is my life and i’ll keep breathing till something inside tells me to leave.

my whole heart is full of bliss;
i didn’t think i’d ever fall again
but, here i am, with your arms around me
faintly mumbled words spoken by another man

the first time he was telling lies,
if i am deceived again,
then love isn’t for me…

although if you really care
than you will never have to worry about a thing
i am a fighter and now we’ll dance to the tune of our own life; together.

love and art, 1991

henk holveck

my heart is so tired
I'm losing my voice
and bleeding out

kindness is a target for evil
disheartening doesn't begin to define this ache in my chest
maybe this is how it felt when they drove the nails into Jesus's hands

the only things that keep me breathing
are full of toxins
unfortunately, there are no warning signs of toxins that provide the fix I seek.

my manifesto is to mean what I say
do what I promise
more importantly it is to love.
I've learned that love is the ultimate sacrifice.

this world needs those of us who feel deeply and communicate effectively.  
a "friend" doesn't cut ties over something petty
a lover doesn't leave you because something is alleged to be true.

as a feeler, this will make sense to you.
if you are not comprehending this or not feeling a tug in your chest, go home, lay down and think about times in your life when you felt overlooked. really go back to that moment and feel it.

when you feel it, now know that other person is feeling that because of your actions.

love & art 1991,

henk holveck

We met just before society began it’s well rehearsed day,

no expectations were discussed,

just pure human interaction was what we could count on,

although we continued to see each other.

somewhere between tropico nights,

and days full of communication crimes,

I began to feel something I couldn’t put a finger on it,

you shut me out as if I were just a dream.

I let it go because as they say if someone cares

they will be back. sure enough, you came back.

apparently that was enough to let my heart drop,

further, than I ever thought it could.

I truly believed in you…….my bad.

one person out of dozens I’ve met since the first

I wish I would have questioned us, questioned, you.

but love doesn’t allow itself to be hindered.

I wish I wouldn’t have allowed myself

to invest any further consideration of possibilities

the pride you hold is so absorbed

the protection tactic you use isn’t fair

especially when someone’s heart is now in your hands,

a heart is not something to be taken for granted.

it should be something held like a mother holds

her premature baby that she is unsure if it will live.

I handed over my clearly recently mended heart,

put back together with a couple pieces missing.

this wasn’t unbeknownst to you,

the lack of humility you carry you place on top of a fragile human life.

someone’s core, especially one that has already been mishandled

by those before you should never be juggled like a grenade with the loose pin,

ready to completely explode and break into just a fine dust.

the clarity through action has made it clear I can’t leave the one part that keeps me breathing to such careless hands.

I just would love if you would let down your half-witted sense of protection.

Like myself, you will learn that it only works so long.

Those who do end alone, because all the companionship graciously given won’t be there. Due to your tall walls surrounding your screaming heart.

I have a plenty of love overflowing inside me, that you knocked out of my hands when presented to you. Scoffed at experiences that mortified to me to points most can’t even fathom. And disrespected someone that respected, and ultimately chose you.

Please be kind to the next, I know that this act won’t last for long if you continue to prey on those weaker than thyself. Granted, we know you attack those stronger, so feelings inside of inadequacy don’t surface.

but, just know if I disappear one day, I genuinely loved you and never want you to forget that, because I know I won’t.

Love & Art, 1991,

Henk Holveck