7/15/2017

A plank of wood,
sand mites bite our ankles
my ankles

One in the morning at the
Gated Beach Community
and the signs said

Without parental supervision,
No one under 16 allowed
but there I was, 15

Dealing with a bad lease on my brain, don't forget yours, too
parents nowhere to be found

Or maybe two buildings over
Years later, it's night
I step over puddles, drunk boys

Walk around the complex laughing
Trying to remember when I found that sort of thing fun,

Remembering never,
I sit on a ledge--
And you'd never guess the sea

Was several hundred feet away
with the way the sky bleeds black
congealing, together

The Atlantic and it.
Remembering my old obsession
With blood, my old poems

Speaking feverishly of it
adding meaningless symbols-
the flower the color of it,

or the sky in the morning in august
trying, selfishly, to make sense of my life.

I wish to run a fever-- forget this place ever existed
Or you, truthfully.

Flocked stitching looks just like the birds,
swooping and swerving, finding their way
to a better life south. They leave here
to a brand new world where flowers bloom
to a pure, dazzling white
and animals sing with the wind.
There, they will live in vivid colour
and cry with fervent joy.
They will rejoice in the pure green
and unite in song. When the time comes,
they will leave their southern home
and join us once more in the north,
where swallows skim the weary grass
and the spirits hum their ancient melodies.
Somewhere along the line, they will almost forget
about that paradise they found
so long ago, the paradise
that allowed them to outshine
an eternal winter. But, like all life,
they'll find themselves in a haze,
with blurred edges and foggy minds,
wandering over borders
with a thirst
to find the heat again.

You have eyes like needles,
pulling me together
into something cohesive,
something beautiful.
Soft silk draping from my arms,
cotton dreams, lavender goodbyes.
Canvas memories
written across my eyes
with the sound of sorrow weaving
designs into my skin,
let me in
let me in.
Feel the softness beneath your hands
as you fix my broken bones
with polyester thread,
look at me with your piercing
gaze and repair my wounded soul.
Create a work of art,
literature, mastery,
with the tide of your lips.
Stitches, stitches,
skin on skin.
Now I am changed,
reel me in
reel me in.

I may create and belong
and language
which seeps so effortlessly
may pull and bind my being into knots
but I bleed for knowledge.
My lungs fill with words and I choke
on memory as it hits me.
Mastery, meaning, crushing definition.
Division, collision,
a crash of colour and lightening
crushing my skull in anticipation.
Knowledge of death
worse than the idea of dying.
Nerves tied into knots
impossible to untie
unless I know the code,
electric pain
with my limbs
flush to the flames.

There's an avalanche miles above,
I can hear it. It was created
by my shouts of glee
cracking and breaking
the surface of the ice,
causing glittering universes to cascade
into the depths and extinguish
the fires of the ******.
The shadows are striping your body
into a silhouette, light hitting
nowhere, blind eyes gazing at me
in psychedelia.
There's a snowstorm inside you
and it's going to freeze
the chaos within me,
save me from them molten decay
burning its way through me.
I'm buried under decades
of ice, the brightest white,
healing me as the old sun
finally reaches my skin.

My body, my soul, my youth.
Young song pours from my skin
and weaves through the patterns
in my irises. I am beautiful
so she hates me. She curses me,
eating me up with her eyes,
eyes which are eating me alive.
She tears me apart
because she loves me,
I am too beautiful for her world.
She will dance in the winds
I make with my hands
and in the flowers which bloom
at my feet.
She will cry in the storms
I breathe
and the rivers
I sing.
She will know me and love me and run
away from me because my youth
is crawling somewhere,
somewhere where everything belongs
apart from her.

Brush my skin,
sepia freckles, moonlit paper.
Touch my face,
cotton cheeks, rosy hue.
Run your fingers through my hair,
silken and earthy.
Look me in the eye,
so bright, so blue.