a bug flew into my windshield yesterday
and i wanted to scream
because it resembled you

but i see you everywhere
in the flowers in the trees in the breeze
in my dreams

all the tiny insects look like you

today
i am laying in bed
enveloped in my blue comforter
keeping company
with my bittersweet nostalgia

today
last year
you were eighteen
i was in love

birthday gifts consisting of
shy smiles and secret touches,
i wrapped my hand around yours
like a ribbon bow, and when you
blew out the candles, i wondered what
you were wishing for

today
last year
i was wishing for a future together

today
i am sleeping alone.

you shattered my feelings
and i tried to digest the
shards but cut my vocal
chords on the glass. i find it
difficult to talk now, but it makes
no difference because you never
listened to my words to begin with.

looking at you is dangerous, like
when you stare at the sun for too long and
it puts a strain on your eyes. it burns,
but you're still beautiful so i tolerate the pain.

i knew this love would hurt me,
but i never thought it would leave me
mute and blind.

i let people walk all over me
like the red carpet except
i’m not nearly as beautiful
or highly regarded.

falling down, i put on high
heels with you in mind, to look
more attractive, to appear taller;
i twist my ankle but you don’t
care about how painful it is when
i try to look good for you.

at night, i slip into
a lonely unconsciousness,
while you slip into
another girl’s bed.

i am
the sky,
and you,
a sunset.
i know
you are
fleeting,
but i'm
begging you
to stay. nobody
knows how to
appreciate me
without you.

you've got me feeling
light headed
like some kind of coke freak;
dizzy,
but i'm not drunk
and i don't want to be.
i want to
lay in the back seat of your car,
weave my hand into yours,
and make you say my name
as if it were a bible verse.