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 Jul 2018 s
Clothes have outgrown me many times over,
but this sadness never does.
One size.
fits all.
There should have been an obituary for cancer,  not you.
Wishing these slits within my skin could have been
replaced by a reality check from you, “You chose to exist.”

My name causes a sigh to escape from lips,
that do not feel like they belong to me,
the girl,
whose words always had to be special.

The schematics of hospitals like a birthmark in my brain,
born into sadness, a gut feeling as a child.
Never trusting time
due to what it delivers.

Death, being the only thing I desired.
But you, 
who I love,
robbed by it.
Whose ebb for life glowed so feverishly.
Stopped comparing depression to lace,
restricted the belief that suicide is poetic,
seeing things as they were.
More often than not, applauded for feeling emotions deeply.
Every second that dies, the shift of my heart quakes.

This world is not tender.

II. Sad.
I have known the flowers I wanted at my own premature funeral,
knowing how many bouquets honored you that day.

split open my veins like a dimension
reminiscent of days where I anticipated deathbeds.

My family wondered,
can we make it through another day?
Death scares me for what it has taken,
yet, I’m not afraid to die-
it’s all I deserve.
So I await the day pain erupts
from my throat,
acknowledging the days a soul
lived inside of my body-
footprints that walked,
belonging to me.

But I learned so well.
How to suffer with a smile,
dreading the beating of my heart
how unfair—
I don’t want to take these deep breaths
You deserved,while I masquerade as a member of the undead
Never outgrowing the desire to rot with the phantoms residing under my bed.

III. Jokes played by the universe.
punchlines delivered,
how could anyone to stand to be in the same room as myself?
How could anyone look over skyscrapers and sunsets,
and not be infatuated with concrete consuming them?
How I shared a sigh of relief during the thought-
of knowing people would thrive without me,
or the power of a belly laugh,
resembling a laugh track audience
drowning out 3 AM suicidal thoughts.
I wrote this in pink gel pen, maybe, that’s another joke.
 May 2018 s
glenn martin
the deep space surrounds my heart
in age old Star crossed charts
my being lives a little
in the vastness of life we remember each other
the living knows this life being but a few million
who believe in the importance of living being
as I travel in space on my way with the Stars
how small are we  6 quarts of blood
I arrange life all the time I want to be sir real
whether love fashion poetry all words of the divine
I look in the mirror the vast Universe is me
my dreams of living coming from the divine
starts  when I am three
I have collected much information
all leading me to be superior
to death from life love success
I am some BODY and yet the spirit owns
co Hurst me oh melancholic syndrome
my nappie head between my ears
this vision shared in paradise
is the love of of a life time its all about me
for you in the wide expanse
our Universe giving us life
this is our eternity live long and prosper
a life a grain of sand washing on the beach
blowing in the wind
Earth bound love...
                                     gjmars 7/14/15
in the depth of care
I listen
 May 2018 s
glenn martin
a body is full of miracles
a soul even more so
yet life to divulge the possibility
that love of the living
is to be shared with  the contemptible
this is how the living is maligned
the terrorist has the right to ****
and the religious will honor the verdict
I stride away to the top of the world
let ignorance die in mass
I view the waste land of creation
as a sewer
blocking out the memories
of the divine
humanity is lost
killed by the uneducated
as if high school had a brain
the cigarettes the alcohol the drugs
the TV  the gasoline collecting all
the pervayers of dead meat
on the table of death to the righteous...
I dream
seeing out the eyes of all Earth creatures
a long time coming
the extermination of humans
a pile of severed heads stacked to the sky
heads taller then the dead buffalo herds
taller then the Muslim pyramids
what a dream
the naturalist and the Jew
set free to rule the Earth realm
with education divine consciousness
and the will to rule ETERNITY
stop eating the Earth to extinction
become a veggie tarian
breath fresh oxygen
your gas and oil has made you insane
stop making weapons
your end is at hand farewell to the losers
humanity has one
hand   gjmars10/4/15
pay up
 May 2018 s
Cecil Miller
You stopped by to see me on your way out of town.
You said you were headed west because the locals were bringing you down.
As you sat across from me,
I looked into your eyes.
Then it hit, how much I'd miss my friend, as we said our good-byes.

I stood on the darkened sidewalk beneath a lamp that wasn't lit,
As you drove your car away from me,
My heart broke a little bit.
I would never tell a young man never to explore,
Because nobody could have held me back in my days of yesteryore.

A piece of me feels envy.
I'm no longer a young man.
If I were, then I would be with you,
Hand in loving hand.

Maybe once in a while think of me, When. like a stallion, you roam free.
When you kiss the pretty ponies,
Give a kiss for me.
As you blaze your fiery trail until you reach the ocean shore,
Remember that my heart is with you
And shall be evermore.
I have been on both sides of this song. Most recently when a friend went to make his way in California a few months ago. I wrote it just now in about twenty minutes. 5/30/15
 May 2018 s
Loren W Ebeling Esq
Life is a lifelong
Balancing act
Time that's wasted
Never comes back
But hear my quandary
It's really quite queer
What happens when my job
Conflicts with my career?
What happens when my schooling
Disrupts my education?
When federal government policies
Keep me from graduation?
What happens when my GPA
Keeps me out of universities?
What happens when what I need to do
Conflicts with my responsibilities?
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