Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
anya Mar 2020
it has been a theatrical performance
a greek tragedy, one might say.
everynight i celebrate
praying to dionysus
and resting in his temple
drinking the fruit of pleasure.
i’ve been drowning myself with anger,
aphrodite is not on my side
didn’t get her blessing at all
it has been so awful
my life could be as compliated as the iliad
i harvest from hegemone’s plants
the leaf that makes me at ease,
a form of running away slowly.
the story of my tragedy
will be engraved in all of your memories
soon enough i will be in hades’ realm
perhaps grow some flowers,
with persephone blooming them easily.
but in this life,
the life that imitates an art form
in the form of a tragedy, a theatrical one
will be remembered
as a great performance, by me,
and myself only.
—poems i wrote on my notes; 3rd of October 2019
anya Jun 2017
as the blade
dances on my skin,
as the pills
slide down my throat,
as the smoke
of the cigarettes
fills my lungs,
i find peace.
then i realised,
death
is my one true friend
//deadly thoughts are filling my brain//
anya Dec 2017
my anxiety is killing me
how many nights i've gone through without sleep
i cannot comprehend the feeling inside
the stairs i take are too steep
my legs are weary, they won't climb up
my anxiousness drowns me in darkness, yet i'm in drought
hearts racing, thoughts running, eyes searching for something grounding
every little mistake i make makes me so jumpy
only the pills she gave me can calm it
although i chug them down my throat
my own mind says those **** won't help me that it won't cure me
and now here i am, sitting mindless and thoughtless and with nothing to hold onto
a note of surrender towards my own demons.
anya Dec 2017
in my next lifetime,
i will find you, and i will try
to make things work,
and will fight until my last breath.

in my next lifetime,
i will love you
like i never did before
and cherish you always.

in my next lifetime,
i'll make sure
that we will meet
and fall in love with eachother again,
more than this life.
dedicated to w.k.
anya Jun 2017
i met you almost a year ago,
when we were just strangers.

i laugh with you almost a year ago,
when we were just friends.

i stayed up all night with you a few months ago,
when we were growing even closer.

i talk non-stop with you a few months ago,
when we were almost lovers.

you stopped talking to me a few days after,
when we were still almost lovers.

you moved on from me a few weeks after,
when we were back to friends.

you found someone else a couple months after,
when we were still friends.

you fell in love with someone else a couple months after,
when we were still friends.

i tried moving on from you a few months after,
when you were with her.

i tried forgetting you a few months after,
when you broke her.

i tried to love you again a few months after,
when you found another.

i moved on from you, almost a year after i met you,
when you are longing to be loved.
for the one who left without a reason, for the one who's still in my mind, for the one that i gave everything up for, for the one i still cerish as a friend ; here's to you.
anya Dec 2017
i imagine your lips must be as soft as a feather.
every night i dream of you, in my dream we are both lovers, draining the night away with our acts.
i imagine your body, with my hands on it.
wishing i can actually touch it.
your face made my head spin in lust, i am drowning in my own ***** thoughts.
anya Mar 2020
hey, everything will be alright.
don’t need to smoke secretly anymore
no need to cry in the bathtub,
and try to drown yourself everytime.
you will be happier, believe me.
noone will look at you differently,
they accept you now,
no need to cry after school anymore.
little one, no need to cut your hair off
believing that it will bring you luck.
you don’t need those sleeping meds
soon enough your insomnia will flee.
no more vomiting after every meal,
you will accept your body eitherway,
and you will love it more each day.
be strong, past me.
your depression won’t go away, im sorry.
there are no more summer rains
that you could dance in.
i still like sky ferreira, i swear.
you will bring peace to yourself,
with your big heart and tough soul.
no need to bleed for every little mistakes.
i promise you, right now, i am better.
little one, look at me.
you only have future you as a role model.
for you, i changed
please, no more sadness, no more blood
i swear, it gets better.
—poems i wrote on my notes; 8th of October 2019
anya Mar 2018
it's not that i don't trust you fully
i know you and her are friends, really
but i don't trust the sun you are under
i am scared you will love her
and i will be neglected again
going through my life in pain
it'a just my self confidence lacking
i don't want to start crying

— The End —