What I want to be

If anything in the world I could be
I wish, I wish I were a tree
So little would be expected of me
To simply grow and sit patiently
To provide shade in the hot summer days
To let the birds perch and sing out praise
My mind no longer trapped in a haze
My purpose defined within this phase
No longer would I be asked to think outside the box
If I simply were a fox
Or better yet I could be an Ox
No longer trapped by time on clocks
I'll be free to roam
And call any sunny patch my home
No longer would I feel alone
Nor carry sins for which I must atone
Oh why, has the universe placed me in this physical form
For wandering eyes to scrutinize and scorn
Oh why can't I just be
Proud and sturdy like a tree
No questions would be asked of me
No expectations demanded by society
But what type of life is this
Deprived of both pain and bliss
For how do I know that I exist?
And after life, will my dreams persist?
Once blind, now I see
That my dreams could come effortlessly
And life is such a blessing to me
I can only wish I'll simply be

She was the pure powdered snow, and he the springtime breeze
While little of love did she know, he was eager to please
Delicate was she, as every flake unique and fragile
Unrelenting was he, moving fast and keenly agile

She covers all of life, in a smooth and even coat
He tussles her hair every now and then, and leaves a simple note
He tells her he’ll be back, through the patterns that he makes
She awaits him till the dawn, till the more of her he takes

He loves her slowly, as day-by-day goes by
No longer is she lonely, as life begins to spry
She’s warming up to him, ready to experience love
But her future looks so grim, as the sun shines down above

His burning love, of swift and vigor, has cost a terrible price
As she condensed, and loved him so, paying the ultimate price
The springtime breeze never had a chance, a love that does not last
For how does she accept his love without becoming past?

In tribute, the springtime breeze took heed, and finished building with another
The summer night in need, he flourished with his brother
There was no end to life that grew, no blemish nor sign of decay
Until the fall rain came through, and washed his remnant love away

August 4th, 1942
My sweet darling Judith, I’m sorry I could not write before
We’ve been so busy, training and preparing for war
It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen your angelic face
Oh how I cannot wait to collapse into your heavenly embrace
How are your parents? Are they doing well?
And what about our daughter Dorothy? Hope she’s not giving you hell
Just know, I miss you all with all my heart
And cannot wait till we’re no longer apart

October 2nd, 1942
Oh my dear sweet James, I’m so glad that you finally wrote
My soul aches for your return, like a knot in my throat
My parents are well; they just bought a new home
And Dorothy is finally learning to walk, oh the places she’ll roam
How are you being treated? Are you doing well?
And what about the other soldiers? Hope they’re not giving you hell
Well I can’t wait for your return; I’ll stay on guard
And protect our home, like your protecting us abroad

November 22nd, 1942
It pains to hear I cannot see our daughter growing up
But every morning I rejoice while I sip from my Dixie cup
Because I’m alive, and I know all of you are safe and sound
And ill make it back home, to see you again, my love found
The other soldiers are fine; I met a friend named Mike
He’s also from Mississippi; we have much alike
The sergeant can be a pain, from time to time
But I know its all for the best, living in this grime

December 28th, 1942
Every morning I wake, I pray that you’re still alive
I don’t know if I could make it, how this family will survive
Christmas was hard; my father has passed
My mother is in tears; I don’t know how much longer she’ll last
But, I maintain my faith in our child and our love
And most of all in god almighty above
He’ll bring you back home, all safe and sound
And our family will be stronger upon this ground





January 27th, 1943
My heart drips tears of anguish upon this ****** ground
For your father was the greatest of men I had found
It seems like Christmas was eons ago
And in the New Year, I fought in the trenches below.
My friend Mike fell victim to a land mine.
I hope one day we can visit his shrine
He was a great man that I wish to remember
A shinning light in the cold darkness of December

February 14th, 1943
Happy Valentines Day from your family back home
Since my father has passed we had to take out a bank loan
We sold the house and now my mother lives with me
With your daughter it’s a generational house of three
Times our getting hard, but I imagine for you its much worse
This war is nothing more than a curse
How I plead every night and morning for you to come back
And get this family back on life’s track

February 14h, 1943
Happy Valentines Day my love, my world
Images of you flash every time my body is curled
For you are the only one that I fight for
But, I don’t know how much longer I can fight this war
My body is weak, and my spirit is drained
On top of it all, I feel my soul has been stained
I don’t believe men were meant to see such death
But, for you I shall hold on until my last breath

March 18th, 1943
Happy Birthday Judith, Hope things for you are going much better
Hope you’re not falling behind on the debtor
Hope your mother is doing great
Hope our daughter has plenty of food on her plate
Hope you wont get too mad
But lately I’ve been quite sad
Hoping this all will just come to an end
Hopefully I wont loose another friend

May 3rd, 1943
How dare you hang your head low
With all of the duties you still have to go
The payments are hard, but we manage to get by
Everyday I try and try

June 3rd, 1943

Oh sweetheart don’t take my words too harsh
But, you cant begin to even imagine the night I spent in the marsh
It was wet, it was cold, it was filthy, and scary
There were mosquitoes, and pests, and animals of all kinds to be wary
And what? You don’t think that I try?
All the horrors I’ve seen just trying to get by
So save the lip for another man
For I have dealt with all that I can.

July 4th, 1943
It’s the 4th of July, America’s independence day
Yet you are overseas fighting a pointless war away
They should let the Jews take care of their own
And not force good men from their home
There’s a large BBQ tonight at the mill
I hope there will be a good thrill
To finally get out of my cumbersome house
To bad I don’t have the company of my spouse

September 4th, 1943
Happy Birthday James, the father of my child
Things back home have been crazy and wild
My mother finally passed, she caught the fever
And I have lost god, for I am no longer a believer
This is all getting too hard
Dorothy got a stray dog, so now we need a yard
I don’t know how much more I can take
So please, James, hurry back to claim your stake

November 26th 1943
Oh Judith, be patient the war is almost over
But, luck is more than just a 4-leaf clover
You must try and stay strong for us both
Dorothy still has much to learn, and much left in her growth
I’m truly sorry to hear about the passing of your mother
She was kind, loyal, and was unlike any other
Hold on, it will all be over soon my dear
And I will see you again in the New Year






December 21st 1943
I’m sorry James, truly I am
But, I have decided to leave you for another man
Dorothy needs support, she needs a father
And I need someone to lean on, somebody to bother
I feel so alone, and I have nobody to cry to
I have nobody to laugh with; I have nothing to apply to
I’m lost in this world; I’m no longer the woman you know
I have lost the house, and now I live with a fellow named Joe
We met at the mill BBQ that eventful night
He was kind; he was generous, and very polite
Oh, James, I write to you with such a heavy heart
You must understand, that I could no longer take us being apart
I don’t think I could ever forgive you or forgive this war
You left me, for so long, holding the door
But, I can no longer hold this anger inside me
I can no longer carry the burden beside me
I can no longer live a life, wondering if
I need peace of mind, before I fall off of this cliff
My last wish is to have you write back to me
I need to know you understand so that I may be free
I must know, for fear I may take my own life
And leave Dorothy orphaned, in these moments of strife
Ill never forget you James, my dear
And one day, I hope, that our spirits our near

December 25th 1943
To the family of Second Sergeant James E. Wiseman
My sincere condolences for your loss
The body of James, was recovered by Lieutenant Ron Simon
On December 14th, he was buried under a cross
His spirit will be carried on by his platoon,
And his name we will remember
My hopes is that this letter will reach you soon
For James, was a shinning beacon of hope, in the cold darkness of December.

I have great disdain for the light of the day
Oh how I plead the sun shall go away

2. The world around is much too bright
And every speck is seen in perfect sight

3. In the day, there is no mystery, there is no danger
There are no heroes, there are no strangers

4.The light illuminates each crack on the street
And the flaws in everyone you meet

5. For the day is dedicated to the labor
The workers hand in hand with neighbors

6. In the light we toil through the same routine
Just a small part of the big machine


1. I much prefer the darkness of the night
And bask in the shadows of artificial light

2. For the shadows, they lie in between
Where the darkest of corners are never meant to be seen

3. In the night, there is a history, a story changer
An ambiance of impending danger

 4. And in the dark, the streets are paved with desire
Our passions personified, ignited by fire

5. So into the night we venture in sin
Impatiently wishing for the adventure to begin

6.Because in the darkness we are all free
Masked by the shadows from the people to see



7. So as the sun reaches it’s greatest of height
I go inside to await the embrace of the night
For the truth hurts too much to stay
I have great disdain for the light of the day

I am the ember that waits in the heart of the burning flame
Hot, like the passion of estranged lovers in the moment of self worth
The foundation and I were once one in the same
Before dancing pirouettes glided upwards from the earth

The sacrifice of wood in the efforts of just and reason
Weakening inner strength as we tumble down in size
Like the boxer, who trains a lifetime season after season
The weight of winning, will be his ultimate demise

I know, eventually the dancers will slide away
Unbeknownst to the other embers, who wait in desperate hopes
Fearing the flame will no longer stay
The hangman tightens his gallows ropes

Exhausted after a life of vigor, my fate is ultimately sealed
Once bursting with passion, now anxiously tame
Much like the warrior, who sustained a fatal wound, on the battlefield
I am the ember that waits, in the heart of he burning flame

I live for those fleeting moments
that capture your imagination
of a bright future.
A word,
a gesture,
or even a glance.
That instant,
when all the possibilities of your fantasy
seem only a few steps away.
Where you fill the gaps of your dreams with the opportunity in front of you.
But alas,
as that opportunity comes and goes, the gaps seem more barren than before,
and you're left once again
with only the dream.
The dream of a bright future
where these moments no longer pass like whispers in the wind.
But instead,
are engraved like crevices in a tombstone.
Because in life we only have our dreams,
and the hope that these fleeting moments
turn into eternal memories

What can I tell you of regret?
That you don’t already know
Maybe how it feels to owe a debt
Or leave your imprints in the snow

Where does the widow lay her head?
In the coldest winter night
Knowing her husbands dead
With no farewell before his fight

Or what about the little boy?
Who bought an ice cream cone.
Then in the window saw a toy
And dropped the ice cream scone

Where does a father turn?
When his children, now are lost
Who escaped from his hand too stern
Their paths never again crossed

How does the drunken fool feel?
In the misplaced mornings of remorse
While forgotten moments painfully reveal
Where the drinking began at its source

What tales does the old man tell?
Of love and fortune barely missed
As forlorn figures of memories dwell
The stories of pain persist

When can the general rest?
After sending his troops to war
Not knowing the informant confessed
His people were slaughtered as they arrived ashore

How does the historian write?
Telling legends of folks of lore
As religious pressure brings fright
Which facts does he choose to ignore?

Who is the leader that might have stood?
And rally the nation to a virtuous goal
Perhaps guided them towards a common good
But, in the chaos lost his voice and soul

For you see, I was a train conductor back in eastern Germany
During the war I served as a cadet
Escorted millions on their doomed journey
And that’s what I know of regret

After an exhausting day at work, I eagerly lie my restless head down
Plunge into my bed and put on my pillowed crown
Regardless of how soft and cool my pillow may be
The other side of the pillow, keeps beckoning me
And be one man, long I thought
For the previous night I had forgot
How the other side of the pillow feels?
What comfort the other side reveals?
Although, both sides equally lay
I contemplated flipping my pillow the other day
For in the morning I awoke in hot sweat
And wished I changed my previous bet
So tonight, I flipped my pillow over with ease
The coolness of the surface came over me like a breeze
Oh, how magical this side of the pillow can feel
Oh how happy am I? To have made this deal
I doubted if I should ever go back
Knowing what the other side may lack
Somewhere ages and ages hence, I’ll tell this story with a sigh
How overnight that side of the pillow grew warm and dry
Because in the morning my pillow was wet
For I had woken up in a hot sweat

In the deathly silence of the calm, I feel the clamming of my palms
As I lay awake in the dead of night, so often as I’ve done before
One thought echoes out, as I begin to be filled with doubt
How these feeling come about, about someone lingering past my door
But, I know I’m all alone and no one stands outside my door
Just my imagination, and nothing more

From the dead of night, a sound pierces ever slight
My ears perk up and my mind begins to explore
Where the faint noise comes from, while my body lays numb
In the darkness of the slum, this hum I can’t ignore
A heed or warning, resonating past my enclosed door
The sound rings out “Falling For”

Who is this trickster, trader, inside my home, a dangerous invader?
Calling out to me from beyond my hardwood floor
In the dead of night, amidst four walls void of light
If I scream, will foreign ears here my plight? Or will I be no more?
Has my time come to pass for all the wrongs I must answer for?
As the whisper calls out “Falling For”

My thoughts begin to carry, how I should be more wary
Am I being tricked? True meaning behind this “Falling For”
This devilish trickster, whether Ma’am or a Mister
Swindled me in a twister, my wealth and name I can’t restore
Unaware of this chaos looming, the loosing of the war
Is this what I’m “Falling For”

Or maybe love, my damsel calling, perhaps my heart is what’s falling
To the one that I so eagerly adore
Thoughts of grandeur fill my head, for a prospect to join my bed
Where stars and sky, the mind has read, finally the weary sailor arrives ashore
Greeted by his enduring spouse to whom long ago he swore.
That she, and only her was the one he’d Fallen For

In the dead of night my mind still racing, for the sound my ears still chasing
The whisper ever so slight of “Falling For”
Kept me up all night and going crazy, my thoughts once clear now are hazy
In the deafening silence, my body lazy, to venture out past my enclosed door
I struggled battling for the meaning my mind telling me folks of lore
Of this destined fate of “Falling For”


In the dead of night, rang out a murmur, ever so slight, the noise got firmer
Beyond the walls outside the enclosed door
Down the hall in another room, a forgotten token within a tomb
Where the noise began to resume, a music box within a drawer
Broken saying the same two words kept replaying,  “Falling For”
For it was this, and nothing more

I’m searching for Paradise
Beyond the vast ocean on a beach filled with white sand
Under the palm tree in the shadows of untamed land
Where the ocean tides pave over the imprints of a desolate shore
And the wind echoes around caressing the sun drenched floor
In front of the sea, sparkling from the sun’s radiant light
Waiting to set, and be engulfed by the night
In my hand I clasp upon a cold and crisp, refreshing beer
Looking upon the horizon so clear
Oh, wouldn’t it be so nice
To escape this place to Paradise

I’m searching for Paradise
On an immeasurable plane of green land tangent only to a white mountain range
Where the prairie has been spared from the time of industrial change
In front of the sun as it strokes the horizon line
I sit, while I clasp upon my tall glass of wine
The sky is painted by an array of colors, reflecting off tranquil clouds
Free from the hustle and bustle of crowds
The grass is soft, like long bristles of velvet fur
As the pollen rises from the flowers, it creates an indescribable blur
Oh, wouldn’t it be so nice
To escape this place to Paradise

I’m searching for Paradise
In the big city, illuminated by artificial light
Surrounded by friends in the chaos of night
We trek, pushing through the people infested street
And pulse to the music of an inescapable beat
In the heat of passion, impossible to explain
We pop bottle after bottle of the most exclusive champagne
Under the stars, beneath the glittering sky
Indulging within the penthouse so high.
Oh, wouldn’t it be so nice
To escape this place to Paradise



I’m searching for Paradise
On the edge of the world, perched upon a soaring cliff
Where you can taste the cool crisp air with but only a whiff
As the sun begins to peak out from beneath the earths womb
I pour a drink, full of spirits to consume
The birds begin to sing in metronomic rhyme
I sing along, to count the time
In the twilight hour sets
The new day begins as I’m purged of regrets
Oh, wouldn’t it be so nice
To escape this place to Paradise



I’m searching for Paradise
After an extensive and exhausting day of work
Grueling and toiling for a boss who’s a ****
Breaking my back for the lowest of scraps
Sweating and Striving till my knees collapse
I return to an undersized and meager house
To be greeted by my enduring spouse
Embracing the responsibility of my new role as a father
I look upon the face of my daughter
And within her eyes so nice
I finally find Paradise

Come lay your head down next to mine
On this endless field of grass
How soft the ground feels on your spine
As these clouds above, begin to pass

Beautiful clouds all shapes and sizes
Drift through the sky, so blue
Imagining escapes and prizes
As I drift along with you

Ever changing, morphing amazing
These clouds above transform so quick
The winds a blazing, while my eyes stay gazing
New clouds pass, within a flick

How can I hold on to this notion of beauty?
Of nothing to touch, and even less that’s saved
For the clouds pass by, as if in duty
To escape my clutch, and leave me depraved

As beautiful as these clouds can be
Look, how fast to darkness they can turn
As the sky, now void of light to see
Begins to fill me with concern

Covered by endless passing shrouds
The wind picks up, as a hideous storm forms overhead
No longer beauty within these clouds
Lets leave this barren wasteland, deceitful place of dread

But, this too, over time, shall pass
And the sky return to blue
We will lie back on the softness of the grass
And watch, The Clouds, pass on through

When they burry me, remember my feet
Which trekked every step on broken streets
Felt the sands course through the toes in heat
Through the winters snow and the icy sleet
Tip toed at night, in the shadows, discrete
And in the day stomped to the beat
Carried me to a love so sweet
I beg of you, remember my feet

When they burry me, remember my knees
Which cushioned the flips and falls of the trapeze
Held up my frame with the greatest ease
And never knelt to anything in displease
Sprang up in the summer’s breeze
Survived through the winters freeze
And only bent to the love I wished to please
I beg of you, remember my knees

When they burry me, remember my hips
That were there for all my trips
Danced and shook for tips
Witness the beauty of an eclipse
Helped me stay balanced in all my slips
Swung side to side on moonlit strips
My love, who so tenderly grips
I beg of you, remember my hips

When they burry me, remember my hands
Which toiled and worked in foreign lands
Saluted in honorable commands
Showed knowledge that still expands
Gestured my souls demands
Conveyed a message that understands
Maintained a love that stands
I beg of you, remember my hands

When they burry me, remember my chest
Where my heart beat without rest
Gave me bravery in every quest
Allowed me to pass every test
Grew for those oppressed
Out front when I progressed
Where my love, became expressed
I beg of you, remember my chest

When they burry me, remember my head
Smart enough to help me earn my bread
Heard in passing, everything said
Looked upon the horizon spread
Felt the pain, when my body bled
Kept my body fed
Laid next to my love in bed
I beg of you, remember my head

When they burry me, remember my soul
How it took others on an emotional stroll
Made me conscious of my body toll
Gave me purpose, a position role
Appreciated everything in its whole
The spirit world where it patrolled
My love, whose heart it stole
Above all, I beg of you, remember my soul

I walk alone, covered, on a cold bitter night.
The icy rain, pelts my face, there is nothing in sight
The wind howls, cuts through my long black winter coat
As the trees rattle, the air evaporates from my throat
The pavement is hard, causing a sharp pain in my feet
My back, burdened ever more, with each step on the street
My eyes, my ears, my nose, even my hands, they all hurt
My heart, beats so slow, I can no longer exert
But then, a figure appears in the distance
My heart picks up, at the figures existence
Out of the darkness a slender silhouette appears
A woman, beyond beauty, young in her years.
The rain, dare not touch her flawless face
The wind calms, with each step that she takes
She too, is draped by a majestic red winter coat
Her legs, long, don’t stride, rather float
Her dark hair, flows and blows, in the cool night air
Her eyes, glisten with passion, lit with a flare
The skies are now clear, as a midsummer’s night
She walks, ever closer towards me, I’m filled with delight
Ours eyes meet, and a lifetime flashes before my eyes
There are no words, no thoughts, only feelings, which arise
My feet, are cemented into the pavement of the street
My tongue, lifeless, paralyzed by the moment so sweet
She passes, oh to quickly, but my glare remains
Now, the blood is boiling within my veins
I can no longer keep on my long winter coat
I shed it, now naked, I gloat
Clenching onto my unwavering stare
Waiting, for the woman, to look back with care
Another lifetime passes, as she diminishes in the distance
The moment so long ago, I begin to doubt its existence
But then, she turns her head back, ever so slightly with a grin
Looking back, me standing, in nothing but skin
She fades into the dark, such sweet sorrow, my body hollow
For the moment has passed, I can’t help but follow