Here I am sat
At 2am.
Thinking of you and me
And our short lived romance.

Our little story
Wasn’t enough for me.
Darling didn’t you see
How we were puppets
Faking our glee.

Little plastic dolls,
Set up perfectly,
To do what makes them merry
While we drowned in misery.

But baby,
I was wrong.
I never should’ve broken it off.
Because here I am
At 2 in the morning
thinking about you and me
And our Short little Story.

There's only darkness,
Not even a sliver of light,
Even the crack of dawn only brings black,
There is no hope,
No hope of ever going back,
Because once you go black, you never return from the other end of the spectrum.

Two sides,
Two opposing forces,
One winner.
Millions of deaths,
Billions of wars.
One winner.

The winner?
The one that consumes you.

My winner?
The Darkness.

She used to be happy, emitting joy,
She used to be friends with everybody,
She was the flame that the moths would fly to
She was the spark that changed it all.

But the flame has long died out,
The joy has vanished.
The words that were spoken cut her like a knife,
It took away her innocence, joy and almost her life.

She’s falling, falling oh so deep
Into darkness that you put in her world,
A world that she didn’t know existed
Until that day.

Oh darling, she’s gone now. Don’t you dare weep,
She’s here isn’t she…just in a deep deep sleep.

To her he shone,
Shone like the moon in the darkest night,
Like the sliver of light at the end of a tunnel,
Like the ray of hope in a pool of her own tears.

To him she was just another friend,
Just another toy for when he was bored,
Another text he had to answer,
Another face he had to put up with.

Black and white,
Light and dark,
She could never be apart
From the one who holds her still beating heart.
Unaware of the power he holds,
Every time he clenches his fist
Her pain persists.
But, to her,
None of it mattered.

She will wait,
Wait for his annoyed text
if it meant she could hear from him again.
Unaware of the agony he puts her through,
unaware of the forgiveness that she’s imparting.
Despite, the writhing pain.
She stays.
Because he’s the one who will forever have her beating heart.

Warning: Causes Cancer
Splayed across billboards,
Written in the stars,
Tattooed in brains,
Whispered in ears.

Warning: Injurious to Health,
Detrimental,
Almost like poison,
Searing through veins,
Stopping hearts,
Stealing breaths,
Melting skin.

Warning: Will make you fall,
Fall as deep as the sea,
Warning: Will make you cry,
Surround you in an ocean
Of your own tears,
Warning: Will leave you dry,
As dry as the desert
on a hot summer’s day.

Warning: Will break your heart
Into a million pieces,
Shatter it all around you,
Leaving you to mend it.

                                                   All alone.

I’m stuck in between
A nightmare
And lost dreams.
Caught in a place
I couldn’t have even dreamed.
Stuck in a sea of my own tears,
Burnt from the lingering touch you left on my skin.
Skin etched with only your name,
The stains of blood all over my sheets.
Dreams I’ve had for years,
All shattered with 4 simple words.
“I don’t love you.”
“I never wanted you.”
“I’m with her now.”

So sick of this war,
Keeps pulling me under.
So tired of this monster
And it's brutal force
Keeps pushing me to suffer.

What ever happened to the good times?
The laughs,
The love,
The happiness?
What ever happened to support?

The demons push,
Shove,
beat, bruise, batter.
Making my world a dull one.
Filled with nothing but Crimson liquid and tears
Year after year.

Look at me,
What have I become?
Another victim,
Another pawn for their entertainment.

A simple human emotion,
Weighs me down more than anything ever did.
The pain,
It demands to be felt both physically and emotionally.

I don’t want to say goodbye,
If only I could hide these stupid tears,
If only I could tear and scratch away my flaws.
I wish I could be your ideal, dream girl.
Maybe then you would want me to stay,
Maybe then I could finally feel loved.
The way you told me I deserved.
Maybe if I were smarter,
The way you said I was, 
i would be able to see,
                                                                    Through your beautiful fake mask.

I'm a ghost,
Something you can't fathom.
I walk around these halls
Hoping to find a cure..

It's there,
I know it is.
I've heard legends,stories,myths you tell little kids
"It can be cured," you said

It's all in my pretty little head
There are no shadows
No black,dark things
Lurking. Waiting. Plotting my demise
It's all in my mind.

I'm just a ghost
Roaming these halls
Waiting. Watching.
For the cut to become a scar.

You asked me if I believed in soul mates,
If I believed that there was someone out there
Meant for me
Who isn’t you.

I asked you if you believed in destiny,
If fate somehow brought us together,
You nodded and laughed
Mocking me for believing that fate was real.

I told you the Truth, Darling.
I didn’t believe in fate,
Neither did I in soul mates.
I didn’t believe in what I thought was
Fake.

Then I laid my eyes on you,
Saw the way your eyes crinkled
When you smiled,
Saw how my heart kept racing a million miles,
I knew I couldn’t get you out of my head,
Not even if I Tried.

That’s when I knew,
I was always destined to be with you.

Fate isn’t my friend, my darling,
It puts me in a constant state of aching.
Because I know that you’re meant for me,
But I’m not meant for you.

Don't fall in love with a girl who writes
Don't fall for her words that she calls
A song.
Don't fall in love with what she uses as an outlet for all who has done her wrong.

Don't fall in love with a girl that spews her emotions on a paper.
All of her poems will be about you. You and.
Only You.
Don't fall for her seemingly pretty words that in reality tear through flesh like a bayonet.  

Don't fall for this girl who writes.  
Don't tell her about your thoughts that keep you awake at night
Your conflicting emotions of do I text her or not?!

Don't tell her how you feel

Don't tell her anything...

Anything that you tell her
She already knows.
This girl who writes only writes for you.
This girl who vowed never to fall
Has already fallen for you.
Her fragile heart betrayed her and a million unspoken promises.

She vowed never ever to fall for a boy that she can't call
At 4 in the morning with a cheesy pick up line in mind
She vowed never ever to fall at all.

Don't fall for anything or anyone at all.
Everything that falls only gets shattered into a million
Little pieces.

He was the only source of light,
In my world of darkness.
The only source of good
In a place surrounded by bad influences.
The only source of food,
In a place of starving hunger.

Her only source of love,
In a place of surging hatred.

She thought she had his love,
The love that has brought her happiness,
But, the poor, sad little girl,
Has never seen love outside of his.
She doesn't know love, real love.
And she never will...

No one knows love six feet underground.

It looked up at me with grey eyes of disappointment
Of words spoken, and promises broken.
It's skin damp with tears of anger.  
It's skin red with coloured tears of destruction.

Deteriorating on the inside,
She thought she might not live to see another day,
But with the power she held in her dainty hand,
Who knew if she would live to see another second.

She'd sit in her room for days at a time,
Wondering how she had let that tiny blade take over her life.
Contemplating ending that life forever;
But which one. That is the question.

It's Funny how the person that seems the bubbliest,
Is the saddest.

It's Funny how the person that is most helpful,
Needs more help than anyone.

It's Funny how the person who always has a smile on their face,
Is the person who cries themselves to sleep.

It's Funny how we think we know the people around us...
just by how they act,
But the truth is that we don't know anything..
Isn't that a big slap?

Why do we crave to label everything in our path,
Why do we seek to throw out wrath
and make everyone else miserable
Just so we can have some smiles.

To the one that holds my hand,
When I'm losing all my might,
And the one that tells me I can,
When i think i've lost the fight.

She's always in my heart,
I can feel her in my soul
She was there when I was young,
I'll be there when she's old.

I'll never let her go,
For diamonds are a girl's best friend,
And you know you've found one
When you know she'll be here till the very end .

So here's to you mom
My own personal hero
You were there when I was young
I'll be there when you're old.

Here's to you, mom,
My personal superhero,
For whenever I need her,
She always seems to appear.
Be it a phone call,
Or a lingering thought.

So here's to you mom,
The only mom that makes the best crepes,
Our own superhero,
For not all superheroes wear capes.

A silence like death,
Tears unable to take its own course,
Trapped.
( Just like I am )

a Prison called faith,
I am unable to face
Anyone.
( Can't tell them anything. Or Else…)

Isolation is the only solace,
The only one I am able to take calm breaths.
( don’t let them in)
( don’t allow them to see)
( I’m drowning in a pool of my own imagination)

                 *Serendipity.

In the dark,
With these thoughts...
On one shoulder, the light calls me,
But on the other, the Dark compels me.

One sweating while trying its best to fight,
But the other mocks its effort as it knows its winning.
Oh the poor, dim, stupid light.
Don't you know the dark has more might?

I watch in agony,
praying to be saved,
to be taken away from this Torturous Purgatory
Hoping that the light won't let me be enslaved.

My pleas being laughed at by the evil audience,
The light trying to muster up any sliver of strength it has.

But as usual....
The Dark always wipes out the light.

"Be yourself and you will go far,"
They said.
But what if being myself is how I got these scars.
The bruises on my back, bruises on my heart.
The deflated self esteem that I was left to hold
and the endless streams of "Just ignore it."
My thoughts that once used to be gold,
They're all gone and replaced with a deep, black pit in my soul

She stands there
Fooling them with a smile
That they think is full of glee
When really
She can't wait to get out of here
and just fall
Into a deep deep slumber.

When she's sleeping,
She can't remember.
She forgets everything.

She forgets the taunts,
The torture,
The tears of blood
The screams
The demons....

She forgets them all when her eyes are closed.

But when she's awake,
the memories...
They hit her like a ton of bricks.

So sleep my angel...
For they can't hurt you there...

Not yet at least

Sugar, spice and everything nice,
She sits there with a smile on her face,
Pictures and memories cloud her mind,
All from that one boy that makes her smile.

Wearing a suit,
He stands tall,
With a diamond ring,
Sitting elegantly in his palm.

She shrieks and gasps,
With tears of joy flowing down her face.
Nodding her head,
Unable to speak.

With their head in the clouds they stand in front of the minister and their beloved friends and family.
“I do” they say before coming together forever free from their worries.

Right now there's only rain,
Not even a glimpse of light
I just can't help feel like I'm stuck in a Fight.
A fight for my life...

Trapped in a moving train
Only headed for a deadly crash
With nothing to pull, not even a chain
And nothing to do except wait for death.

being able to feel It coming,
and feel Its presence,
but never able to know when or how..
The worse form of torture is sitting here waiting for it to engulf me in its cold, black embrace.

Days like this
I want to drive away
Lock myself up
And will the pain away.

Bottle it up,
Push it down,
Into the vault
That is buried deep within me.

That pain will fade..
But the memory will remain.
I guess that is the price I'll pay,
For pretending to be okay.

But you don't know about the pain, the suffering or the robot that I have become.
If you knew even half of it, you would have been long gone…

The skies will weep,
For both of us they reap
Coloured tears of love
Fall over the city that fell from above.

Hell is empty,
The devils are amongst us.
Keeping us apart
They just laugh at our efforts.

The skies are bleeding now, my darling,
Bleeding tears of sorrow.
Why are they keeping me away from you?

The devils are here, my darling.
Running after us.
Clawing and tearing their way through anything
That stands in their way.

The devils are here, my darling,
They are you and me.

Wave after wave,
Each one hitting her harder than before
Black clouds gathering above her, inside her, behind her,
All of them surrounding her in an eternal darkness.

Gasping,
Thrashing,
Screaming,
Crying.

She sinks.

You say I'm capable of nothing,
Not success,
Not writing,
Not passion,
Nothing exciting.

You put yourself on a pedestal,
The world can only revolve around You.
It must start and end with only You.
With no one being above,
Everyone only below
You.

You hurl your words like a bayonet,
Not Caring who You hurt in the process.
But when my sharp tongue betrays me in the name of self defence,
you sulk and shout
and stab me with your own two hands.

Oh brother,
Why don't you see
Who you're meant to be to me?
A protector against all evil,
A shield to my little, fragile body.

My brother,
Why don't you see that you're the one who is hurting me?
The sharp sting of your words will forever remain etched in my little, tiny, non-existent brain.

It looked up at her with grey eyes of disappointment,
Of words spoken, and promises broken.
It’s skin damp with tears of anger,
It’s skin red with coloured tears of destruction.

Deteriorating on the inside,
She thought she might not live to see another day.
But with the power she held in her dainty hand,
Who knew if she would live to see another second.

She’d sit in her room for days at a time,
Wondering how she had let that tiny blade take over her life.
Contemplating ending that life forever;
But which one?
That is the question….


“Till death do us part,” she whispered.

I thought I was making you happy,
But as the days went by,
I realised it was the other way around.
I was your burden,
One that just added more and more pounds.

I was wallowing,
Drowning in a sea of my own sorrow.
The sea made of my tears
The only thing getting my through
Was the thought of you.

Then you left...

You were pushed away by my
Black forcefield.
The force of the push,
I thought would break you in pieces.
Oh my poor, poor, naive thoughts.
The force of the push,
Shattered me instead.
You were as whole as I was deluded.

I'm just glad they didn't envelope you as they did me.

She sleeps,
Alone.
Patiently awaiting his return,
Craving his presence.

She lies in a comfy space,
Waiting for him to join her.

Countless hours passed,
No sign of him,
Not even a single tear,
or a stem of white petals.

She's getting lonely,
all alone,
Lying in these satin sheets,
The space is closing all around her.

She can't see in this growing darkness,
Her breath escaping her body,
Walls pushing against her frail, fragile body.

Waiting and wishing his return
To his one, true love.
He promised he would be there,
That they would go together.

So here she lays,
Waiting for him to fulfil it
Just as they promised they would,
Together.


Wishing his return to her,
6 feet underground.

"Goodbye," She said
And with one swift swipe,
Slowly, she bled.

She waited, for the pain to surge,
For hand to bleed,
For her to scream,
For her body to writhe.
But she felt nothing.

All her pain was coming from inside.

She stared there and watch her arm bleed,
While her eyes just stared with greed,
She gazed as the blood starting seeping out,
Watching as her life slipped from her palm...

She knew her whole world was coming down
But she wouldn't even let a single year slip out
She took in a deep breath from her nose

And slowly... she let everything go

If I ever wrote romantic poetry, it would go something like this,

He told me he loved me,
That he saw stars in my eyes,
He told me that green was his favourite colour,
Until his eyes met mine.
He told me he’d never seen a smile
Quite as beautiful as mine;
That just looking at me could stop time.
He said that he loves me,
Loves me more and more everyday,
Tells me that I absolutely take his breath away.
he said he'd never believed in love till he laid his eyes on me,
Never thought his heart could skip a million beats.

The thing with romantic poetry is,
That none of this,
Not even he
Is real.

The beautiful, green scaly skin of the devious snake
Was always prepared to rear its ugly head,
A grimacing, smirk plastered on its face
As it glided, lusting after its prey.

Eyes locked,
Scrutinising every movement,
It crawled out of its pit,
Attacking with its sharp, venomous teeth.

It ripped, shredded, and devoured
All with a menacing grin on its face,
The poison was seeping,
Taking over the body, slowly, painfully
As the snake just watched bashful and happily.

And all they could do was watch in agony, wishing that she would escape the constrictions of the cobra buried deep within her.

Him,
Have you ever looked at him?
I mean, actually looked at him.

Have you ever looked at him when he smiles?
And how when he did,
His eyes would crinkle
In joy,
and how his teeth would shine,
and make my heart beat a million times faster.

Have you ever seen him angry?
How his eyebrows would meet in a sweet embrace,
and how his eyes would shoot daggers.
My heart, would dance,
In fear and admiration.

My heart still beats.

Have you ever looked at him when he's sad?
His eyes swimming in water,
Pretending to have no worries when all it wanted to do was cannonball and let everything go,
How his mouth would tremble just trying to keep it in.

His eyes glimmering with joy,
And how his dimples would show,
So prominent,
And how his nose would crinkle like a bunny.

Have you ever seen anything more majestic than him?

Alas, the poor soul now possess no emotion,
No emotion but one,
For how could anyone show emotion,
When they are six feet under the ground?