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Rae Jul 2017
i am happy
because i have friends
who love me to the end.
i have a reason to smile
every single day.
i can laugh from my soul
and smile through my eyes.
i don't have to pretend.

i waited so long
to be in this place.
i climbed mountains of pain
just hoping i would gain
the life i'm living today.

i'm so happy to say
here i am
with happiness exuding
from every bit of my existence.
i
am
happy.
no more fear. no more bad. life is good and i am so happy.
Rae Jul 2017
i fell apart.
i didn't get back together.
who cares if i don't recognize myself?
i dug my fingers into
my head
i squeezed on the hem
of my tshirt.
always ending on a bad note.
inspired by my own blackout poetry
Rae Jun 2017
she sat there
with the disk whirring
in her laptop's DVD player.
the movie wouldn't play
because of some internal flaw
and she stared blankly
at the computer screen.
her bowl full
of potato salad
on the desk next to her frozen body.
her chest rising and falling
unsteadily
her eyes glassy
zoned out
to another place.

the pills she's supposed to take
to keep herself healthy
sit on the desk next to her bowl
of unfinished potato salad.
6/4/2017. it's all because of you.
Rae May 2017
crickets and
frogs alike
chirping to the beat
of a hot summer night

insects swarming the
lanterns and lights
summer sweethearts laughing
feeling their hearts ignite

young lovers and
insects alike
dancing to the beat
of a hot summer night
This is how I picture summer nights, and it's how I choose to remember them
Rae May 2017
Air fills my lungs but
You no longer fill my heart
I don't know what does
Rae May 2017
Memories of you
Collect
Like raindrops on
A downward *****

I know that
Soon enough

I will drown.
Rae May 2017
you told me of
your pain and i told
you all about mine.
we held each
other's hearts and
boldly proclaimed
to love one another.
you loved me
through my flaws
and i loved you
through yours.
but when it came
down to it; you left.
and my heart was split
into a million pieces.
i may never understand why you shattered me
like a glass bottle in an empty alley, or how you got
that power to begin with, but i will not let it ruin me.
i'm going to have to live my life and try to trust again.
i won't let this keep me from finding another soul
that will be able to walk to the same rhythm as mine.
i can pick my pieces up and put them together again.
i have spent my whole life falling and getting back up,
so that's what i will have to do again. i can live through
the side glances and small smiles and avoiding eye contact.
i can live through the 'how are you?'s that end with answers
neither of us believe. i can live with the anxiety attacks that
i get before i see you places. i can live without you.
so i am left
with only one question.
and i know this question
has been asked to you before
because you told me
of the other people you broke.
and i know how it haunts you,
but i deserve an answer.
if you loved me...
why did you leave me?
there's a lot of pain put into this. maybe some day i can look back and read it again and know the answers.
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