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~for lovejunkie, who loved this poem best~

so many reasons,
so many stones
yet unturned,
for each poem
a season,
for every season,
a given reason

eyes, dimmer,
hearing, harder,
memories, ha,
disappear as fast as
footsteps upon
my island beach

this then
my log,
of places momentarily visited,
capturing the of,
of me,
the exactitude of
where, when and what
I felt

what felled me,
the long and lat,
of the attitudes
of breeze and currents,
the happenstance that carries
a desperate soul
eager and afraid
to remember


"how fragile we are"

so memorized records here,
for his storage and his places,
both filled and unfulfilled,


poems, nothing more,
flawed each,
product of a flawed man,

here, for all to see,
most of all,
for the man,
to see himself
when the eyes of his mind
at last be shuttered
4/11/16 8:04am nyc
#1
i have seen thousands of lights in all the bright places
and i still think the only light that matters
is the one within you
—Things I Want You To Know
#2
in my entire existence
i never thought that
my lungs are capable of making music
and oh dear it was so beautiful--
to *breathe
--
at the same time
here, with you.
*life finally makes sense
—Things I Want You to Know
I will live every second
Follow my heart

Get lost
Find my way

Rejoice in sunshine
Dance in rain

Make mistakes
Apologise
Make new ones

Learn
Grow

Fall
Fly
Life is for living, and life happens in the moment
I have knots in my stomach
I feel my fingers slipping slowly
unable to grasp anything or anyone
the crisp, fall air reminds me of the hurt
I am just trying to break free
I feel constricted by my past
these scars will not fade
I feel my past has caused
an unnecessary amount of pain
I should not have to feel
like a shivering, lonely dog
waiting to be loved,
but wondering when that love will leave
I shouldn't have to hate my body
because it was never enough for the wrong person
I shouldn't have to question whether
he loves me
so often in a day
because you never did love me
I shouldn't have to feel like shattered glass
every time I get insecure
because you always wanted something more
even he hates the way you've ruined me
-m.a.
...
 Aug 2017 pixiestargirl
Carley
You light up
Like a cigarette
I want to breathe you in
And have you burn my throat
To wiggle your way into my lungs
And rip them apart
Take my breath away
And replace it with smoke
Poison my body
With this cancer
Stain my teeth
And fingertips
A faint yellow
So I can remember the sun
And forget about my maroon veins
That run sideways
Like the horizon
On the vertical roads
Of my arms and legs.*
-CsR
She
She was not fragile like a flower;
She was fragile like a bomb.

— The End —