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2.6k · May 2022
garden
Lee May 2022
there's something about you
that buries itself in my chest
growing its roots somewhere deep inside
blooming and blossoming
reaching and tangling around my veins
wrapping its vines around my bones
spreading its pollen through my bloodstream with every gentle heartbeat
seeping through my fingers and toes
crawling up my spine and flowering in my thoughts
I carry you everywhere
and as I fall asleep at night,
I think about the way it feels
to have you next to me
I've been friends with you for what feels like forever. I wish I could tell you how I really feel, but I'm scared I'm going to ruin what we have.
749 · Apr 2019
Shades of Blue- Part Three
Lee Apr 2019
Shades of blue
Changed the way I thought of you
And are still changing
In this very moment.
For all the shades of blue,
There is a new meaning.
And your shades
Respond to the inconsistencies
In how I choose
To let myself portray you.
Shades of brown
Are the mask which hides
All the unrelenting doubts
About who you are.
The cover of those shades
Is a one-way mirror
You can see me
But I fail to see you
And beg to break through the glass
And grasp at what I can.
Shades of red
Reflect my burning heart
Full of the heat of desire
For that perfect world
In which you and I
Are the perfect couple.
And all of my efforts
To set our fire ablaze
Are snuffed out by my mind
Who scares my heart
Into a retreat
And the shades of red fade.
I must be confident as a match
Ready and able to spark
And use you as my gasoline
To set us aflame.
I think that I know just enough to reignite my confidence and finally say something to that boy who looks so good in that blue sweater.
I think I should add that this is the final part of the Shades of Blue trilogy.
635 · Dec 2019
The Questions
Lee Dec 2019
"How are you?"
Depressed
Useless
Ugly
Sad
Pointless
Tired
Worthless
Stress­ed
Shattered
Annoyed
Empty
Angry
Guilty
Dead
"Fine."
628 · Jan 2021
Error 502: Bad Gateway
Lee Jan 2021
and when his life was taken
his pain had ended
as soon as it had started
i love you, nonno. thank you for everything.
575 · May 2022
infinity
Lee May 2022

we are two souls floating
drawn together
and when it's only us
and I belong to you
and you belong to me
it's like we're infinite

and the universe is all
grey sweatshirts
and headphone wires
and hazel eyes
and conversations
we're floating, infinite

two souls intertwined
tangled together
you are part of me
and I am part of you
we are here
and we are infinite

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite"
-Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
419 · Apr 2019
Shades of Blue
Lee Apr 2019
Shades of blue
Remind me of you
And that sweater you look so good in.
Shades of brown
Remind me you’re alive
Because of your eyes.
Shades of red
Remind me of my heart
That can’t help but fall
For everything you are.
When you're in love with someone, you can't help but wish they knew it.
405 · May 2019
Absence
Lee May 2019
You are the Sun
In an absence of light.
But soon you will be absent
And I shall be blind.
Note to self: Stay strong. He won't be gone long, but it’ll feel longer if you don't keep your head up.
Still working on those old poems.
362 · Apr 2019
Shades of Blue- Part Two
Lee Apr 2019
Shades of blue
Still remind me of you
But in another way.
The bluest drops of water
Remind me you might not stay.
As the rain keeps beat on my window pane,
And my tears trickle just the same,
I cry myself to sleep
For your shades of blue.

Shades of brown
Still remind me you’re alive
But in another way.
They block me from the secrets in your soul
Behind your eyes, I’ll never know
What lurks in that heart of yours
Beneath those shades of brown.

Shades of red
Still remind me of my heart
But in another way.
The day it told me you’d be mine
I listened to it’s lies.
The minute it fell in love
And held it prematurely
Before I knew it could break
Like glass under pressure of heartache
When I realized my heart
Might have convinced me
Of an impossibility.
Maybe he isn’t the one, and maybe he’ll never be, but I won’t know unless I ask.
316 · May 2019
The One
Lee May 2019
When the one
Turns out to be none,
What do you do
With the leftovers?
That feeling
That they’re still there
That they can start
A love you share.
What do you do
With the feeling
That they’re the one?
I thought I found the one. I was even going to ask him out. You can't ask someone out if he's gay.

Oh yeah, "If I Can't Have You" by Shawn Mendes came out recently. I've been listening to it a lot lately. Kind of funny and ironic that it came at just the right time for me. It's like this was meant to happen all along.
"Everything means nothing if I can't have you"
-Shawn Mendes
307 · May 2019
I'm Sorry
Lee May 2019

I'm sorry God
If I've let you down,
I know I've done something
To deserve this punishment.
To deserve no friends,
To deserve no happiness,
To deserve no luck,
To deserve it all.
What have I done?
That has made it this way?
Can you tell me why
A being of heaven
Has brought me hell?
What have I done?
Why do I deserve
To be locked in this life
And bruised by the past
And stabbed by the present
And threatened by the future?
What can I do
To please you, God?
So that you shall bring me peace?
What more do I have to give
To get a bit of it back?

I'm sorry, God
If I've let you down,
But you have to let me live.
I know you know not
Of mortal pains and suffering,
But you of all beings
Must know some sympathy.
When can you end this madness?
What more must I achieve
To appease the ultimate puppeteer?
How much more must I sacrifice
To be worthy of your affection?
What must I apologize for
That will allow you to free me
To bail me out
To leave me be
To let me go?
Have you reached your breaking point?
When will such a day arrive?

I'm sorry, God
If I've let you down,
But don't you think
That all of your people,
Including myself,
Deserve a blessing at some point?
Deserve some freedom?
When we know not
Of what we have done?
Oh, God, when will that freedom come
If not in the form of angel wings?

293 · Apr 2019
The Cage
Lee Apr 2019
A once blissful state of mind
Corrupted by emotional knives
Cutting deep within my brain
To break me in my sleep again.

The steel bends to form a cage
Trapping in surreal thoughts and pains
And images of who I was.

I become a creature
A subject of my mind’s devices
A reflection of the monster inside
To succumb to its every whim
Be a puppet on its strings.

I’m dragged along by words
And drowned by tides of pain.
No matter what I try to see,
The creature shall remain.

I writhe and wiggle against the cage
It wakes me from my sleep
But in the dark of midnight,
The cage escapes my dreams.
This is my first poem. I wrote it originally for school, and everyone loved it so much that I used it to get on here, and now I'm publishing it. This is the first poetic work I have ever published. I hope you enjoy.

Next poem: Hopefully a satirical work of some sort.
293 · May 2019
Undone
Lee May 2019

Undone
Like a button
Unraveled
Like string
As my happiness
Leaves a trail
That I can't
Get ahold of
Anymore
For, all the string
Is picked up
By the wind
And all the buttons
Bounce down the road
I want to chase them back
But I'd rather
Lead myself home.

275 · Nov 2019
Crosses
Lee Nov 2019

Crosses, a century old
To mark names forgotten
And victories remembered.
A land of peace
Built upon dead bodies
Beneath the soil
Whom have blossomed
Into poppies
Which we wear upon our chests.
Lest we forget the sacrifices
Of men and women,
Of soldiers and innocents,
Of heroes and victims,
Marked by crosses.

A poem for Canadian Remembrance Day. The day of memorial falls on November the 11th to mark the day on which World War I ended. We celebrate the achievements and honour the memories of Canadian soldiers on this day, as WWI brought with it the dawn of Canada's military.
223 · May 2019
Persuasion
Lee May 2019
There is a storm on the horizon.
My forecast calls for rains of salt water and of sorrow
And all of me will drown in its merciless fury
And the winds of pain are but a warning, though they are far from subtle.
To persuade myself that I shall not be engulfed in my own ocean
Would be like persuading a tsunami not to crash ashore.
But adaptation is a much simpler concept.
Note to self: It’s alright to be upset because you won't have that little bit of extra support for a while, but you need not worry. He’ll be okay, and so will you.
When your house is flooded, there’s always shelter elsewhere. You just need to look for it.
205 · May 2019
Worn
Lee May 2019

I am worn
I am beaten
I am tired
I am blue.
I am broken
I am shattered
I am splintered
I am through.
I am done
I am gone
I've been squeezed
Of every drop.
I'm a shell
Of myself
And I think
I need to stop.
My brain is worn
It is beaten
It is tired
It is blue.
It is broken
It is splintered
It is shattered
It is through.
It is done
It is gone
It has been squeezed
Of every drop
It's a shell
Of itself
These emotions
Need to stop.

How do I make it stop? How do I get better?
173 · May 2019
Imagination
Lee May 2019
I don't miss you.
I miss who I thought I had.
I miss those dreams about you
And what my imagination made you into.
I miss having feelings for you,
But I don't miss you.
If you read my poems, you remember those shades of blue. They’ve all turned to gray.
160 · Apr 2019
Doubt?
Lee Apr 2019
Just when it felt
You were the one
I heard something about you
And if it's true
This isn't the first time
I've had to change how I feel
Because you can't change
How you feel.

It's fine if you are who you are
I can't change you for my sake
But I'll still let the water
Fall from these eyes
That saw you that day
And tricked me
Into thinking you were mine.
Just to be clear, yes, this is about the same boy in "Shades of Blue". No, I don't know how to reach out to him. No, I won't say what the rumours were. But there are rumours.
152 · May 2019
Distraught
Lee May 2019
I wonder who else
Has been distraught
By what I've said
And what I've thought.

I wonder how much
They've been in pain
By what I've done
And what I've been.

I wonder who else
Has prayed for me
To renew a girl
That I can't see.

I wonder what force
Is my only restraint
From ending my time
And closing my fate.
152 · Apr 2019
He’d Never Leave Me
Lee Apr 2019
“Who am I?” I said.
“You are mine.” He said.
He kissed me
And told me he’d never leave me.

“Who are you?” I said.
”I am yours.” He said.
He kissed me
And told me he’d never leave me.

“Who are we?” I said.
“We are in love.” He said.
He kissed me
And told me he’d never leave me.

“Who are you?" I said.
"I am a stranger." He said.
He disappeared
And so he decided to leave me.
Never tell someone you’ll never leave them if you don't mean it. The most heartbreaking type of love is the kind that was a lie all along.
148 · Jul 4
ghosts
Lee Jul 4
haunted houses don't look the way they do in the movies.
they aren't dark and dreary.
there's no antique gothic furniture, no creepy paintings.
no books for some spectre to pull off a shelf
and throw at a wall-
those got sold at the garage sale over the fourth of July weekend.
and you couldn't salvage the bookshelf,
so you left it on the curb.

and there's probably a good number of cobwebs at first,
but everything will be vacuumed and dusted before the week is out.
and it smells like fresh paint when you first walk in,
so the colour appeals more to new buyers,
but you can still see the gaudy yellow underneath the crisp white.

and as for the ghosts,
rest assured they'll be there,
but whoever moves in won't see them.
it'll just be me,
and the faint outline against the wall
where the sofa used to be.
and when I look close enough,
I can still see them sitting there.
how ironic. her birthday was on the fourth of july.
140 · Apr 2019
Smelling the Roses
Lee Apr 2019
Go out and smell the roses
Go out and climb the trees
Go out and run in the valleys
Go out and sail on the seas.

But beyond the mist
Is an abyss
And you’ll fall in
If you search for bliss
The world is not
What they said it would be
Don't be blinded
By what you see.

Though once in a while,
You find a rose
And shores
Always end at sea.
So when the world
Isn't all but pleasure,
These small joys
Are nature’s measure.

Go out and smell the roses
Go out and climb the trees
Go out and run in the valleys
Go out and sail on the seas.
The world is ugly, but it doesn't have to be.

Next poem: Undecided, but I do have some old ones that I found, I’m hoping to tweak them a bit and get them to a state that I’m proud of.
136 · Jun 2019
Beetle
Lee Jun 2019
When I first saw him,
I wished nothing upon him but death.
He is a simple organism, after all, a grotesque one at that.
But who would want to take life from such an innocent, perhaps even kind and gentle-natured being?
One who, despite his place in the world as but a mere, insignificant speck
Trudges onward with his life
Desiring nothing more than food, water, shelter, and the accompaniment of his brethren.
He gleefully treads across the seemingly unending expanse of the tiles upon which he has found himself
Due in part to an open door
And in part to his raw curiosity.
That has caused him to skitter across the floor
Inexplicably dodging the hands of death by my crushing, weighty feet.
All of his time here has been spent in a miserable environment, devoid of food and suitable company
And yet, he, being the cheerful beetle that he is, crawls on his merry way to everywhere and nowhere.
Who would end the existence of such a happy creature?
One of pure optimism and contentment in his seemingly isolated environment.
Thus, the beetle whom I now love so dearly
Will exist mutually with me
In his new accidental home.
Wow, it’s been a while since I posted. Nice to be back with this odd little ode to a tiny insect.
132 · Aug 2019
Reflections
Lee Aug 2019

I tread on broken glass
And see the past in its reflection
Thousands of twisted faces
A stranger in every section.
Memories better off forgotten
Cold and distant and blue
Yet the constant in the chaos
Is the blurry, dizzy truth.
I'm the monster
I'm the stranger
In every silver piece,
But the monster
And the stranger
She just isn't me.
Only I could have changed
The reflections that I saw
But what was in those mirrors
Wasn't myself at all.

121 · Sep 2019
Untitled
Lee Sep 2019
I watched as the first was pulled away by someone else,
And my jealousy consumed my heart
Like a field infected by dandelions in the spring.
I watched as the second drifted further and further from me
Gone faster than a cool breeze
By forces bigger than the earth
But it consumed me nevertheless
And now you, the third,
The one I watch so carefully now,
Shall not slip away
Before I have a chance to reach out.
100 · Sep 2020
Blue Infinity
Lee Sep 2020

An undefined depth
A blue infinity
So familiar,
And yet so foreign.
A welcoming surface
A cyan mystery
Depths still unexplored,
Yet unfit for man.
A waiting adventure
A brutal navy cold
A remarkable story
Never to be told.

September 8th, 2020 by Leah Dell'Osso/Andromeda
98 · Feb 2020
The Road
Lee Feb 2020
She came to a fork in the road
Not knowing where the path would lead.
The forest was daunting,
Twisted trees and black waterfalls
A chilling wind blew in the air
Carrying with it a cold fear
That perhaps if she entered,
She would never leave.
And yet,
As she stepped over the threshold
Into the dark,
Into her final breaths,
Into death itself,
She was calm.
For she could feel her soul
Pulling her towards the darkness
Telling her that there was nothing to fear
And on the other side of the eternal night,
There would be rainbows.
And so she stepped
Beyond the fork in the road,
Still vaguely unsure of what lay ahead,
And yet so certain
That when she met the end of the road,
It would be beautiful.
And so, down she skipped
Into twisted trees and black waterfalls
Pushed only by the chilling wind
She skipped
Down the road.

— The End —