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It was a fun day,

childhood memories were being made.

My happiness showing across my face.

So many questions I had,

so many I asked.

I see pink.



Another fun-filled day.

Dad made my favorite dinner.

My excitement was bubbling.

I guess to them it was troubling.

I see pink.



Today was rainy.

I went outside.

I think I'm in trouble.

She yells  "Get inside!"

She had almost gotten my hair dried.

I can tell she is annoyed.

I see pink.



They didn't care about the smile on my little face.

I guess they couldn't keep up with my pace.

I see pink.


I want it now.

I barely even begin to ask,

she is headed to the cabinet.

Plastic shot glass.

Two tablespoons later,

I see pink.


Dream, dream, dream.

Off to sleep.

Thanks for the pink.


A three year old girl who gets a thrill from fairytales.

They say I have to much energy for someone so little.

All they want is for me to sit still.

So they pour me some more Benadryl.

I see pink.
I miss the pain of your beard as you rubbed against my face.
I miss your red skin.
I miss the smell of your neck.
I miss your stinky feet.
I miss your thick hair.
I miss your eyes.
I miss your raspy voice.
I didn't think I would miss you this much.
I miss you saying, "good-morning sunshine!" as I woke.
I miss your smile and crooked teeth that accompanied it.
I miss every. little. thing.
Why did you leave?
I want you back.
I want to tell you everything.
I am older and I want to ask you questions I didn't think to ask before.
Your death makes me feel like I wasn't good enough for you.
I want to hug you.
Let's go crazy one more time.
Please.
Months before you died I bought a pair of socks, they said "daddy's girl"
I wanted you to see them.
I thought you would.
You played wolf… I didn't think you were going to die this time.
I miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you.
Why did this happen?
Please come back daddy.
I really miss you.
I love you.
please.
There you are, floating man.
pale face against my window.
Are you standing on my bed or hanging from my ceiling?
You are facing my window, but are you peering out?
Your eyes seem closed.
My eyes are barely open.

You are wearing a red stripped shirt that pops off your pale skin.
Your wrinkles are deep. Everything about you is deep.
You seem like you are dead or dying.

It is the morning, and here you are.
just floating over my bed.
I don't know you, who are you?…

An illusion?
A dream?
A ghost?

I fall back asleep and dream about you.
I told myself you were nice and I happened upon a rare moment...
You didn't know I had woke.
You didn't know that I saw you hanging there.
You were just passing by and decided to bask in the morning rays of sun that burst through my window.
Unbeknownst to you, I was watching...


I was scared to open my eyes.
Are you still there?

Why the hell am I so calm?!?
I wake to find you feet from me and I decide to write a poem…
A crazy dream I had
Army crawl through dirt
We are dodging the missiles
Oh no! I've been hit!
Cigarette burns, hole in my
skirt. Oh what a childhood!
First try at a tanka...hopefully done correctly.
It creeps in the night, a drag in its step.
It looks at me, those blood shot eyes.
It is something I have started to despise.
A small but strong foe.
I hoped it wasn't so as I walked in.
I could feel the heaviness in the air.
Beware. I wont be scared.
I will be fine. I'll confront it, it will then deny.
It doesn't matter though, I'll try.
That blank look peers into my soul.
Selfish, out to destroy me.
The troops wont be deployed.
With my brain it has toyed.
Beware, I need to be prepared.
A step at a time inching toward this beast that awaits.
Then it sees me……
It lunges forward, toward my heart.
It starts to tear me apart.
I crumble to the floor, looking to the door that the beasts is walking toward.
I lay there, now looking at the ceiling, overcome with this sad feeling.
Was this really my meaning?
Breaths getting shorter, it's harder to breathe.  
In my final seconds my eyes start to close.
The beast is at ease.
It is now pleased, standing in the doorway watching me drift away.
The beast then walks away, off to bed.
It rests it head on the pillow getting ready for work tomorrow.
I wake alone in bed.
I walk around the empty house.
It is quiet, it is cold.
I know the story isn't done being told.
When it comes home, I start to have the feeling again.        
With all my fright I walk into the room just to make sure the beast isn't out to play.
I hold it tight, then I look up to see its bloodshot eyes.
It's been a short day, It will be a long arduous night.
aka mom

— The End —