It's truly
a
chaotic
thing
to
suddenly
see

starlight,
heaven,
and
everything

in someone's eyes

Oh my poor whole world
Is crashing down
In stinging purple spark explosions
And salty little girl tears
And I can hear
The echos of
Every time
I ever wished on pastel birthday candles
Distorted, flooding,
Rushing like ice white water
Wish Wish Wish

Impermanence is tattooed on me
and

Saturday still tastes like tequila and

all the slow lazy kisses blur between boys

that won’t matter in five years anyway

Half a person and still a girl,

Everyday I think

I’m too young to be this age

This is not
Something more
Not sadness
No tears that could
Fill up or flood
This is just
Empty
Lacking
Where nothing is
Colour
Just numb
And
Existence.

My world
is
aways sunset
and dizzy

Colours flash quicker
when I close my eyes

I like
to catch
falling things

Or floating things

-Maybe dandelion seeds

I will always trail my fingers along
every wooden beam

And write wishes in the dust
asking voices you can’t hear

Should I ? Should I ? Should I?

The sky spilled sadness
Into paper cups
And lilac clouds
Soaked up the dreams
Of a thousand
grey
print press people
With their coffee stained sleeves
keyboard- click steps
And lack of imaginations

Are your words
Floating
Up through your skin
Silky charcoal
Ink tattoos
Essays written across your palms
Are sentences snaked
Between
Your fingers
Each soft hot whisper
Wrapped
Round your neck

Kisses
Why bother?
With "niceties"
(Tasted like me screaming anyway)

You
Only wanted
What you took
(My unmoving body somehow begging for it?)

As if
Between my legs
Was a place you owned
(It is not mine anymore)

In hazy
Alcoholic
(All my fault)
Swings
Of semi consciousness

I
Barely felt you
Until the next morning
(I always feel you now)



(Everywhere)

I wish I could pull
all the sad out of you
through your chest
And fill up
the empty spaces
With flowers

Chrsanthymum Cardiac Tissue
Your whole heart
plastered
In every
pretty petal
Translucent silk bandages


Roots that twine veins
An entire botanical garden of happy
Blooming
in your bloodstream

I want to
Swallow the dusty,  heat
From summers years ago
And
Taste sweet peaches on
My tongue

I cannot catch the past

Old memories flit
Behind my eyelids
Like sunlight
Through
Half closed curtains in the
Breeze

I will go and find Peace

Blank ceiling
Disillusion
Like
Empty dreams
Hanging in the place of clouds
Each wish
That has ever been begged for
In a hot sleepy mist
Against the cool navy panes
Nose pressed firm
Chin and eyes
Pointed up
Asking the
Stars
Like splinters of
Broken silver glass
With
No desire to reply

Not flowers but
All the
Cracks
At the very edge of petals
Where the watercolour bleeds away
And starts to rot
Sweetly
- That's what I am

Pale eyes
the Colour of November
Always shut
to the World around her

If a girl had curling smoke fingers
wrapped around her throat
she would scream her voice
raw

into empty nothingness
a vacant house
without windows

She would have emptiness and nothingness
and jagged shards of glass
in between her ribs

and in dusty damp spaces on the floor
amongst the splintering wreckage
she'd spill sticky red carpets
for you
to wipe your feet on

I'm
Spilling
Out
Up and
Over

My
Head

My
Heart

Overflowing

I hadn’t any dreams
In my hands
You sometimes hold
My wishes
Fell through
Holes in my pockets

I was very much empty and I
Wanted you to know

Soft grey and gold
Thin flits
Of sunlight beams
Through
Dusty
Off white blinds
Like
Honey
Down your cheeks
Your neck,

Suspending every single whole and half thing
On this earth
In between
All the air

From a window up high
I can hear the rain
Drumming down
Grey
Sloshing through streets and
Ruining leather shoes  

Children scream in delight
And scatter
Running with their school bags or jackets
Up over their heads
Some not even bothering
No umbrellas
Revelling in their drenched clothes
Water dripping down their noses

And I think about how
It happens one day -
You start to step over puddles
Instead of jumping in them