poetry is dumb to me
as it sits beneath this ache-
this ache that becomes my body.

i’m a ***** in an alley,
as bold and as beautiful as a newborn child;

throwing pennies at the feet of
****** addicts and billionaires.

i don’t know why i love searching for food in waste bins full of burnt-out cigarettes,

or why electricity is  
always running
underneath every scabrous sheen of skin-
i’m starting to think that hearts and brains are cliche.

when i was young
my cliche
started quaking
at regular intervals

i wished it to be a water balloon
so i could drop it on the sidewalk
like a kindergartner.

now it reeks of chemicals-

i’m soaked in ethanol
probing all the people that pucker at the smell.

i will use my last breath
to tell myself
you loved me

I saw you over there,
Across the street.
A beautiful angel,
With a smile,
Even more pretty.

I glance your way,
I can't help it.
I trip,
I almost fall,
But its totally worth it.

You saw me looking,
Catching my gaze,
Holding it.

My heart races,
My body starts to sweat.
I look away,
Panicking.

I take a moment,
To act like I wasn't looking.
Eyes darting around,
Pretending;
Like I was looking for something.

I gather up the courage,
To look at you once again.

I turn my head to you.
And all I see,
Is an angel,
Smiling back at me.

Nothing can fix me
My love was stolen
I'll always stay in misery
I'll always stay broken
Nothing brings me joy
I can only cry
My life was played as a toy
My life is just a lie
I can't continue
Nothing good survived
If only this wasn't true
My happiness would've never died

The night is dark.
The path is long.
The monsters are out.
In the shadows, they lurk.

Take my hand.
Let us find our way home.
No matter what comes tonight,
I promise to never leave you alone.

Miles upon miles,
Riddled with beds.
Tissues and soft hands,
To wipe my tears.
Piles upon piles,
Of blankets and food.
A nice, big bowl
Of serotonin.