I throw up until my head feels like it's not there but I can still taste your **** mouth.

Sometimes I just feel really sad.
  
               And I don't know why.

I'm down here drowning and you're throwing water at me because you think I'm partched.

Listen to me, please.

I get so confused when I think
because I'm so hungry but I
about recovery. Sometimes I want
don't want to eat, or because
it so badly, and other times
I ate and I wasn't suppose to an once
I do not fight the urges at
I get inside I know I have to
all. I use to limit myself to
get rid of it all. Have to. Some
certain times and specific places.
nights it's me kneeling on the
Obviously we went past that line
bathroom floor, rocking back and forth
ages ago. Sorry. I want to be
holding my head in my hands
normal so badly. I don't like
because I'm trying to silence the
having anxiety that makes me
voice screaming insults and telling
Shake after I eat. I don't like
me to do what I hate doing.
not feeling safe in my house
Maybe I don't hate it as much
to the point that I just sit
as I'd like to say. I've lost weight
in my car for hours before
and I love that more than I hate
finally entering. It's always
the burn of acid and empty ache.
different too. Sometimes it's

It's odd, isn't it? How much you miss the feeling. You miss the rumble and the noises. The applause of your insides. Such a pain others avoid- yet here you am craving it once more.
Don't worry- It'll come.
Today was your last.
Tomorrow you're done.

willow tree standing proud and strong  branches flowing in the wind as if dancing to nature's song.

it's serene to watch, listen and truly see. we are but a small part, you and me.

oceans formed over days, weeks, years. their deepest points holding your darkest fears.

willow cracks and salty water lulling me to sleep. hush hush little baby, not even a peep.

It was springtime, I remember this now.
We sat singing under the orange tree.
Some of the blossoms softly falling down.
We let them rest on our arms and faces.
The smell in the air as sweet as sugar.

Our reality frays at the seams.
Blending it with our perfect dreams.
Stars fall as we lie beneath our big sky,
from the big world. Time set in stone.
You can not erase time, so why wonder?

We sing of possibilities wasted.
Of times that we wish we could change.
Why should we wish on things that have been?
As we dream and wish, time pasts, flying by.
Our laughs run together with our tears.

Our voices grow tired. We sing softly.
The sweet citrus fills the air once more
we come and go to the smell this sweet scent.
Slowly we fall into a deep slumber.
The time comes when we can walk away.

Bruises left on my body
A footprint of your words.