it took his entire life
and a second
as with anything that happened a moment ago
or at least just before
high fashion became not the world
why look?
sanity slowed his gait before decision
there was nothing he needed
a deliberately paced piano foretold the past
it made him feel strange
everyone was doomed but he already knew
so why think of them?
it was only about how, when and why
that is why he grew quiet
as if it mattered to a stranger washing his face
they would never meet
he lost his voice while speaking in obscenities
it served him right
his suits hung loudly while his jeans lay quietly
as did his black shoes and sneakers
a future promise would no longer be negotiable
withhold it until the right time
a still-born breeze waited by the door
she could only wonder
he liked her but didn’t ask her for anything
the obligation was too overwhelming
he wasn’t looking for another intoxication
it was time to be a baby again
to allow what was necessary required innocence
not to attract opposites
interaction became optional as was isolation
a prerequisite controls direction
blinding light prevents outside interference
ear shattering sound for dismay
every sense is a matter of knowledge
until it is overwhelmed
to cleanse is to see because nothing exists
it is not peace
it is the destruction of memory and reason
to be like a baby
crying for something it cannot request
you could climb a mountain
but to what end does the depth exist?
nature of that scope must remain
you could read the same book every day
but do you want to be a robot?
it is not necessary to recite a creed or rosary
ritual only revives torment
but its form is worse than the original
to shock yourself by complete withdrawal from convention
but not to protest
it is to know that every conversation was once yours
as is every car that passes
when the landing gear retracts beneath you
that is when you will know
metal ***** that click together are no longer important
only the ability to see what is true
waking up in a different bed in a different land
it is the same
no culture to defend no God that is afraid
no cynicism
only the desire to be as you were intended
it is the moment
you need to be told because you are waiting
stop waiting in the lobby
if the elevator does not work
take the stairs
if the stairs are filled with people huddled together
ignore the storm
the piano is playing as your heart keeps time
the hands the reaches for you
reveals that the piano plays involuntarily
like your heart
it knows what to do in order to survive
but what would you have it do
in order to begin again
most likely a guard dog must give chase intending to ****
it is time not to care for trends
it is time not to be judged by those you do not know
for fear is the blinding light
and confusion the ear shattering sound
but to know the moment before
is to know that you waited all your life
for this to happen
it is your chance if you will only care to try
nobody has to know
only you
if only you would get out of your own way

I don’t want to live a life about loss
I know what happened to me
But that is something that’ll never be me

I don’t want to be known by my past
I’m not escaping from shame
It’s just my turn to decide what I believe

Tell me why I should live a certain way
Life will never be like it was before
I am tired of thinking about why
Still I wonder what you think
But it’s time for that no more

I just can’t pretend I’m something else
It was you who made me understand
You took so much there's nothing left for me

It’s a new day
A new day and a new way
What’s happened has come and gone
It’s time to find a new light to follow
Away from the things only darkness would say

I finally washed my heart with new blood
Still I feel the sadness of survival
But what time takes tomorrow must never grieve

Tell me why I should live a certain way
Life will never be like it was before
I am tired of thinking about why
Still I wonder what you think
But it’s time for that no more

you were looking at a shattered mirror
you thought I was the moon
laid long by your sorrows
i carefully tried to deflect your hopeful eyes
i pleaded for you to forget the past
but the clouds hid my meaning

you were listening to a flower whisper
you remembered it as a scar
a dandelion blown by caution
a heart trembling while sleeping
you were unable to open your eyes
but my dreams became your own

you once thought morals meant something
you learned it was only pride
a burning mind finally decided
nothing would be hard that you can make easy
once a mirror sees its purpose
a kiss can find the things you once lost

The echoes of my footsteps are so far away
I will never know if they will ever be found
Like stars awakening one by one
Or watching light moving east to west
The fear of mortality will never make a sound

I saw tears draped as dew on a green meadow
Glistening memories of the past upon your soul
Like candles burning a hole in the night
Or the sun making red the ocean blue
We will try to make our broken hearts whole

I know
Or maybe I just think
I can't really judge
Culture is what we make of it
We own it
It says something about us
But my music
Is it really better?
Or is it because of the times
I can listen to something new
In my room
Or in a crowd of young people
But I'm not young anymore
So it has to be connected to something else
Something important to me
So is it the music
Or is it what I was doing at the time?
I once was part of the scene
Now I'm an observer
It doesn't matter what I say
Or what I know
So I'll just stay in my lane
I won't drive too fast
Or make a statement just to do it
I know I'm different
Why do I have to prove it to anyone?
I don't get off on that anymore
I don't trust anyone based on their age
I don't distrust anyone based on their age
I just listen
Then I decide
I know if it's of any value
Not to define their worth
But instead their willingness to be honest about themselves
It takes time
Sometimes there's not enough
And they move on
So it was just a point in time
And they may not even remember you knew them like that
When they were trying to prove their worth
And they didn't even know what it was
Or how to do it
They just wrote a novel in the way they spoke
But the pages will be discarded when they grow up
I'll just wait until that time
Because then they will know what I know
And that is that we really can't judge
Who's going to help the world anyway
What can you do except live?

There’s not a day goes by
That I wonder why love is not so easy to forget
You give everything you have
Then you walk away as if you never met
Even if it was my idea to leave
It's the life that I weave

You have new lines on your face
Telling a story that a stranger can only guess
But they have their own history
It’s different, still there’s something to confess
Even if it’s your need to deceive
It's the life that I weave

Time can make your life into a movie
You can watch anytime you want if want to
Every time I watch I learn all over again
But the end is always the same when it comes to you
Even if I have something new up my sleeve
It's the life that I weave

I always get out of bed
People think I’m strong but that’s all just talk
If it was true I’d find somebody new
But taking a chance seems to be such a long walk
Even if an excuse is what I believe
It's the life that I weave

Once when I was not so worldly
I was able to give time away like desert sands
Now I’m counting grains
I can’t believe a lifetime has passed through my hands
Even if I must continue to grieve
It's the life that I weave

Sometimes a mirage is real
And what I once gave away without remorse
Is now another way to live
I see the garden, if I could only change my course
Even if I know not what I receive
It's the life that I weave

She went west in her mind
The song she heard was the one I was playing
I didn’t have a nickel’s worth of answers
But it doesn’t matter if a smile understands what I’m saying
Even if love is a mystery we must conceive
It's the life that I weave

I wondered about what I know
Maybe my belief is just God in a different suit
A surprise without a plan is the plan
If you come to me you’ll see me eating the same fruit
Even if it is the one  I took from Eve
It's the life that I weave

what if this
wait until then
what it means
think about it
how I feel
it depends
why I do it
it's my right
when will I do it
when I'm ready
if I meant it
I always do
where I am
I'm still traveling
what about my plans
they never turn out
if I believe in God
why should I tell you?
if I love someone
don't you?
if I'm happy
it no longer matters
if I'm angry
aren't you?
if I love people
I love my children
what about that
I can't solve it
how to be
don't hurt anybody
have I hurt anybody
everyone I know

I'm staring at a fountain blue
It was what you decided to be
Throwing coins and wading too
I wondered if you noticed me
I don't know how long it will last
Something better happen soon
I can't live tied to a passing mast
Hoping for another harvest moon
I wondered if it would be enough
I watched the side of her face burn
Could she love when life was rough
Or does beauty ever take its turn
To hear you whisper after midnight
While your blinding colors sleep
Will tell me if you prefer the light
Where our confessions never meet

My shadow painted the room with your memory
I wanted to see it when I turned the lights on
Nobody would know you were there except me
It always made me think maybe you weren’t gone

I can’t think of you in the darkness that still remembers
I need to see the shapes the way they changed every day
You tried to hide around each corner, still I found you
Standing between light and fantasy was the only way

What hurts so much except love cast before you?
Red yellow or orange is all the same to me
But blue and black seem to know best what to do
I don't miss my shadow, just the things I can no longer see

was it because I was so young
or was it love because it was love
and it was you who I wanted to see?
was it because the life we led
knew nothing but the sounds inside
until our eyes finally opened
and we finally heard one another?
was it because I finally felt desire
even though you were so far away
and I could only dream of a song

the echos of why fade
the limb braced itself
for the burden of my life

innocence tied the knot
guilt wept but then forgot

lust for vengeance
blood for hatred
death to forgiveness

it was not the way I wanted it to be
but a dream is not always true
I wanted to wish for these thing
but the wish would not listen to me

as it washed away I saw what it could be
walking where only animals once lived
made me feel sad but what could I do
when the world is begging me to set it free

I was death
Flying high above caring
For what was my life other than suffering?
Though I saw a rainbow
What *** of gold could my soul desire
When a storm is the only way I can dream?
Until my love
I walked upon the shore
And I knew I'd never leave again
For the light I saw
Beckoned
And when I came upon your life
I turned one last time to the sea
And the light upon the waters was no more
For it was now shining on me

In the tower, as a prisoner surrounded
by  walls of flesh and blood; to etch upon
the walls, my innocence and guilt; how
my mind was mistreated by all who had
mistreated their own; what was I to expect
from a life that offers nothing except pain
at birth, life then death; what principles
are offered except riddles by those who
do not care to hear the warnings of
freedoms scattered before them like the
blackened eyes of serpents whose bodies
continue to writhe though separated from
their own minds by the sharpened axes
of each generation that will see the truth
only in ways that make them feel whole

The holiest time of captivity, when our old
wounds gather together; when we know
we are all of these, we begin to speak  
calmly of them, proud of what we know
of our strength in the faith that the sun  
will shine upon us no matter the clouds  
that have gathered, defusing the dewy
stars to make shadows warning those
who laugh at the bravery of peace and  
the truth no matter who may speak it;
for darkness is always reserved for fools
who can only see today as if the sunrise
is afraid to be the one who forgives first,
while we, in the sight of a cross for  life
and a stone for death make the choice
to live for the harmony of love as we
were taught; to share the whole of our
existence with those who once made
us think of hate

I’m gonna’ stop worrying about getting hurt
It’s just a part of life
I’m gonna’ stop trying to be happy
I’m gonna’ get through it, because
A human is what I want to be

It’s alright if you get mad at me sometimes
It’s just a part of love
I’m gonna’ take it if it’s my fault
And even if it isn’t
I want to make it all work out

You can get hurt all day long if you let it
You can pretend it never happened if you forget it
Sometimes we think it’s better to find someone new
But I’m not going to run away from the feelings I have for you

I wonder if we were just full of bad luck
It’s just a part of losing
I’m not going to assume you were wrong
And even if you were
I know that it’s in my life that you belong

You know me now
I may have missed my chance
I may have hurt your pride
But I’m not afraid anymore
And if you could look at me
You’d see my heart by your side

You can get hurt all day long if you let it
You can pretend it never happened if you forget it
Sometimes we think it’s better to find someone new
But I’m not going to run away from the feelings I have for you

What’s good for the life
It wasn’t just spontaneity
It was the ability to see conflict as growth
Getting along with everyone… he aspired to be more than that
Polite conversation was as meaningless as pretension
He wanted the feelings that he blamed on the past to live on
There was no time for idle talk or self-importance
He just wanted to speak the truth
But where would he find himself if the world was on fire
Or his family needed him more
What fact of life should he follow
What he could swear to… witnessed or not
Or what he assumed to be true from the look on her face
A street walker didn’t have the luxury to think of these things
Yet conflict was all around
His toes started bleeding as he ran
He wondered if it was better to lose some every now and then
Was old blood as bad as an old grudge?
We carry these things inside of us but to sleep well is to accept
To lie awake in a pool of anger is to suffer without redemption
He knew these things instinctively
It didn’t take a revolution
In his mind or his country
He knew of musicians who made money from another man’s pain
He wondered if anyone would write about him
But did he have to die first?
As they walked across the tracks
And climbed fences
The world blamed them as it always does
But not so the wind
Or the birds that walked beside them
Somehow they knew of the choice that tormented them
Who can migrate as a bird except a man trying to save his family?
He tried to become a survivor
Not knowing now where his grave would be dug
Or even to live forever inside a poem
Where were the peace signs for his plight
Where was the poetry for his soul
Empathy was a closed door
Heroic courage was an extinguished flame
He once thought the world loved children
But not his
As he continued to bleed on the streets where love went to die
He became something that he never knew
Homeless
Unwanted
A burden
All because he lived where God couldn’t make up his mind
Because prophets chose to remain silent
Because the temple crumbled before the cries of the people
He wanted to be vision to his family
A vision of comfort and stability
Yet he could only guide along an abandoned railroad track
It was the end
The end of peace
And he was to be blamed because he didn’t choose to die
Like a captain who abandoned his ship
He left his country but the ocean upon which he walks
Is not a miracle of the Gods
But instead burning stones where pride melts
And memories of his ancestors are the ashes of a modern world

Yes, it's the way you look
I hope you are as different as your eyes
But don't look at me like that
Unless your voice speaks without disguise

Let us not aspire to be like them
We are not to follow one man or woman
Or to sacrifice our brothers and sisters

They offer our existence
We give our obedience
They offer us equality
We accept mediocrity

Let us remember not to trust them
We are not to assume their good intention
Or that they can change the hearts of men

They decide at night
We hear speeches in the light
They ask us to blame one another
While they wink at each other

Let us not forget why we love the seasons
We are not to live a life without our own reason
Or spend our time crying like the children we are

Our surrender a cocoon
As is every revolution
Our violence a butterfly
Free will until we die

I’ve said so many things in the night
I bought diamond rings during the light
I’ve felt every emotion you can feel
I’ve swum in every ocean but it’s no longer real
Now I don’t know who I’m talking to

How many more times should I try
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always darkens the sky

I walked through the fields of a stormy night
I lowered my shields because I thought it was right
I think way back when about times I’d live again
But why think about then when I know how it will end
Now I don’t know what I’m going to do

How many more times to ask somebody why
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always tells the lie

I tried to build something better than what I was
Was it about love or just my own selfish dreams
You thought what I said was only for your touch
Love wasn’t supposed to be about lost movie scenes

How many more times to watch love cry
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always says goodbye

I know of our struggles
but I’m not a communist
or a hipster

I know there’s a soul
but I’m not a evangelist
or an atheist

I can’t change the world
but I try not to harm you
or my children

I am aware of many things
but I’m also ignorant
and full of perception

I loved you once long ago
but I still love you today
and I know it’s true

I have felt much pain
but I know my weakness
and my vices

I have heard you speak
but I have my own mind
and it’s my choice now

I am a deep thinker
but I should be a doer
because that is best

I do not judge culture
but I once did
and I was wrong

I am not chosen
but neither are you
we are all the same

I will honor your rights
but I can’t be you
let’s honor each other

I ask nothing of you
except your respect
and my freedom

The first time I saw a tree,
I was amazed at how big it was, until
I saw how the leaves drew shadow pictures;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw the night,
I wondered where the sun was hiding, until
I saw the stars and how my father loved them;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw the ocean,
I wondered if the sky began at the end, until
I saw ships come back from the horizon;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw a person sick,
I wondered if they would ever get well, until
I saw them smile though their ribs hurt;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I heard strange sounds,
I ran because the way people looked at us, until
I learned my family spoke another language;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw someone different,
I didn't understand why he was dreaming, until
I saw the hate in another man's eyes;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw a bomb,
I was glad we had won the war, until
I saw the barren land and broken refugees;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw a picture of a cross,
I was shocked a man was nailed to it, until
it was revealed why he did not save himself;
then I realized there was more to it

It wasn’t just your pictures
It’s the desperation I had just to kiss you
I couldn’t think
I couldn’t sleep
I couldn’t wait until you told me it was true

I remember everything
The time they told us we seemed so happy
They could see it
We could feel it
I wanted to hear you say you believed in me

There was nothing to fear
Except what everyone else thought
We couldn’t be what they wanted
It was as if we remembered what they forgot

For once I knew what was right
I wanted you to smile at me whenever we met
I knew it
You were it
It was a time to dream of someone without regret

There was nothing to fear
Except for how easy love seemed to be
We couldn’t think past our last kiss
It was the only time we knew how to be free

Young man
You act so world weary
But what do you know about life
Was it your mother or your father
Maybe it was your friends

Young man
You’re too young to be tired
They haven’t taken it from you yet
There is so much time left
Is there something you need to say

How much time do you need
I can’t tell you the answer
But if you need any time at all
Then you’ll never start
Because what you could never be
Is a book written by your heart

Young man
I can’t see your broken mind
Did you think wisdom was pain
You can’t pretend to be crying
If you’re looking for meaning

Young man
There’s nothing sacred about defeat
You heard a preacher that you rejected
You became a tale of locked coffins
Salvation was not pleasing to you

How much truth do you need
I can’t tell you the answer
But if faith is a fools game to you
Then you’ll never know
Because what you could never be
Is a book written by your soul

i wanted to be calm, reborn
like still waters
of a sleepy country pond
before the dawn
even as an eagle, reaching
scratches the surface
suspicious of the life he sees
in his own reflection

i clung to the warm covers
not to sleep
but because dread, watered
by life
disturbing what had been planted
so deep
my blood, pushed and pulled
by futility
rearranging the space, where
it was lodged
as i could only hope to isolate myself
next to chosen memory

allow me to walk this earth
in the new
awakening each time i face
sorrows of old
to declare the future i desire
for myself
to comfort those who believe
in me
without expectation of reward
only the blessing
that strong i walk, no matter
the currents i cross
powerful in belief and resolve
to know purpose
and to calm the waters that ripple
of reflections of itself

how easy it is to pretend
that they would never feel the things we do
that they are so different from us

Do they look out the window as the past disappears
Are the words of poets more meaningful to them
Is freedom for the soul or for God
Who could know what is right

how easy to assume we will ascend
that we are forgiven while treating them cruel
that they are a race to distrust

What in their life accuses them of being in contempt
Is it outside God’s ability to control the message
Is freedom about fear or disobedience
Who could know what is wrong

how we try to dignify the end
they cover the bodies we expose like fools
but we both begin with a single cut

Is it what our parents taught us that we trust
Rebellion is only the ignorance of our youth
There is no world to possess
Only the moment to make them cry

What to do with time that may last minutes or years
No way to talk about regrets with anyone who you once knew
Listening to young people talk about the pain of the living
If they only knew how time is so precious and what it can do

Fallen trees, food for the god’s that roam underneath our feet
Broken stone fences, dividing land once known for its welcome
Hope, as wispy as dandelions, blown about by our misgiving
The wings of Falls colors, flutter as the winter cold beckons

What we fail to see are the ways to be what they missed
To know the moon follows a setting sun is the beginning of time
How many times can it be that a chance passes to be forgiving
But to act our age is to allow time to commit another crime

We went to the waterfall to hear a new song
Instead we saw blooming wildflowers standing by
We thought to look into the distance
But ridgelines led us instead to where bees fly

The feeding waters ran through my fingers
While mountain vistas held fast to its piney snow dust
We were not born before the thaw became creeks
But your falling hair spun a web to catch the things we must

Without misty morning questions
Or glowing horizon suggestions
We were lost in our own way
But our tears were never alone
Together, we would find our new home

The dark green watched quietly like a happy mother
While shadows and misty light playfully hid from one another
As our hands reached across the splintered wood
The wild children stopped to watch how we loved each other

Long stemmed perennials blushed in the light
Nothing could make us turn our backs on what we’d found
You grew quiet as your smile instead finally knew
It was time for us to plant seeds into loves fertile ground

Without misty morning questions
Or glowing horizon suggestions
We were lost in our own way
But our tears were never alone
Together, we would find our new home

I know you're feeling something
You see the rain in ways that I never saw fall
But I can't make it happen
Everytime I try who you are stands behind a wall

I know you hear the music
It's saying something that the words can't reveal
But though I try to understand
It's a message that I will never know to be real

I didn't take any pictures
I only wanted memories to remember
But you took away the things that only you knew

I know you have a look in your eye
It's faraway even though you lay next to me
But though I can kiss you tonight
It's a distance that makes it hard to see

I didn't take any pictures
I onlly wanted to write you sonnets
But you read them as if they were never true

I thought I knew her limits
I’d never been that afraid of a woman
But she was just as afraid of losing me
I should have known why she shattered the glass

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises to make you stay

I thought she would never do it
I’d never seen a woman that hard before
But love was something she knew too much about
I should have known desperation has two lives

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises that pushed you away

I thought she’d miss our life
I'd never seen a woman that happy
But her crooked smile said you don’t have all of me
I should have known what she was saving

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises that make me pray

What anger exists in me sits in the front
row of the church in which I have chosen for
for myself; it has a place of honor because
I have allowed it seek its level; above that
of true understanding; true kindness;
true empathy for the happiness of others;
true calm in the face of what may not allow
my preferred state of being to exist; yes I
have allowed it to lead my thoughts because
I am weakness looking for purpose

What have I set my mind to; is it a virtue
worthy of the rest of my life or is my life
worthy of it; is my mouth worthy to speak
of it; have my ears heard of it; does my
heart know how to love it; does my mind
comprehend it; does my spirit have the
strength to fight for it; am I merely a
weakness looking for purpose wherever
it may exist

You must know what it is that you are
choosing to be; drifting, dreaming; is it
in her eyes or can one person be all you
can see; the promise is for a life before
the things you will come to know about
her reveal themselves to you; it is the
same for the stand you decide to make
or the back you turned on what you wish
to reject from your life; because weakness
looking for a purpose must choose

Is it a story or a life you are leading; what
is it that you are sure of and what is it that
makes you blind; you must remain pure
in your purpose for what you are born to
live is what is intended; whatever fame,
praise or silence that comes upon you is
only a consequence of those who react to
you and is not to be considered as you decide
if the life you lead is worthy of the purpose
your weakness is trying to choose

It was a distant shore, alone as he was,
but connected by the sea,
like flat lands laying with man-made shadows;
the sand, for a moment
held footprints in memoriam of a child’s laughter
except what the land remembered
was a family apart

It was the love of a child’s emotion,
tragically killed by reason,
like signs meant to warn those who would favor nature,
as history suggests,
who once walked freely but are now ghosts,
haunting progress
with uncompromising songs of the heart

It was the will of perfection, it’s power,
meant to conquer laughter,
could not accept those who live vicariously,
in a land where the sun never sets;
but unable to bring order to the tragic clinging tides
he walked towards her
consumed by thought, but intrigued by art

It was a struggle for power,
though master and slave were interchangeable
each loving one another,
though he tired of the compromise
for once the moon appears
the grudging day must lie still once again
as long shadows wait for a new days start

I’m aware of so many things
But it’s my choice to be sure or hesitant
I know I could pierce my ear for Sunday nights only
I wonder if it would make me seem more militant

we can talk at a party
what you don’t know
what I don’t say
it all depends

I decided how I look is only good for a few minutes
Then our minds take over racing past our eyes
The soft sidewalk exists if you let it carry you
Take off your shoes, smile a lot, don’t tell lies

we can talk in a bar
what I don’t know
what you don’t say
it all pretends

I do have so many doubts
But it’s my choice to let them get to me
Sometimes a headache is a relief from life
It forces me to stop thinking about the things I see

we can talk in a park
what I already know
what you already said
it almost ends

I decided how you look is good for a long time
I’m sorry if you need more but its where we start
You look interesting enough, especially your style
I wonder what you’ll be like after I break your heart

we can talk on a phone
what I already said
what you already know
it almost begins

It was another hot day
Like always
I was walking slow and thinking about the night
Then some words appeared in my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another beautiful girl
Like always
I was staring at her and thinking about the night
Then her naked body flew into my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another setting sun
Like always
I was sadly silent and thinking about the night
Then its darkness cooled my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another long day
Like always
I was tired and thinking about the night
Then my fatigue disappeared into my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another long conversation
Like always
I was relating and thinking about the night
Then nothing was left in my mind
And I knew it would be all right

I was made for the night
I solve its mysteries
I keep its secrets
From the coming light

It's hot... like always
She's beautiful... like always
It's gone... like always
It's over.... like always
I'm done... like always
It's alright... like always

walking without my skin
but the bones are still there
cooling themselves but a bit much today
children so engrossed in not knowing our problems
old women, together on a bench, obsessing
the wind passing through me, cleaning the sidewalk
I thought of being like a Frenchman
or at least maybe the charm, or so women say
I can’t speak the language; but so what?
I wondered about understanding what’s good
not swept up in things, but knowing myself
there’s a style about living
we each have our own
we don’t even know it, but everybody else does
they watch, as we walk, noticing our eyes
what they notice
if they are hard
or soft
can we or should we remain as we are
or do we just accessorize
taking on someone else’s ideas for ourselves
transforming us because we are looking
for something
downstairs at the front of the book store
or upstairs alone in a chair, sinking into the past
stretching and sighing
where is my wine glass?
oh, only single serving bottles
plastic
ok, it doesn’t mean I’m not a Frenchman
not the plastic
not the age of the wine
not the fact that I’m not one
but is my charm apparent to anyone
this Westie I noticed knows
he knows that I like Westies
he knows
he saw my soft eyes
how can you know me so well little Westie?
it’s because he looked and I looked back
I was able to smile as long as I wanted
instead of glancing
pretending I’d hardly noticed
even though I had
for a long time
I stared at my coffee
the wine was just talk
I was only wishing
it’s breakfast and I’m already thinking about wine
but your dress
and your eyes
yes, they are soft
but maybe you’re just sleepy
so I’ll blow out the imaginary candle
next to the imaginary wine
burn my lips on my coffee cup, freshly poured
and go
maybe I’ll see someone crazy enough to make me laugh
that’s why I live in this town
to hear someone singing
as we all stare
wondering about him
and why we are dreamers
who imagine moments instead of living them

Over in the corner
It seems unimportant
But that is only because it's really not yet
Not yet
But is it not yet or are you not ready
What draws your attention
A crowd looking up at something all together
Or something in the corner
Ignored but inspired
It will never be greater than the day before you notice
Self-conciousness does not exist in a dark room
Purity does not exist when it tries to please
Ambition is not virtue
Anonymity is not death
And as poverty is not noble to those who hunger
Ignorance of those discovering themselves is not bliss
Instead it is you who wait in the lobby
Waiting for the show
While those who may never reach the stage
Exist not to impress or entertain you
But instead to live their life within the sounds only they can hear

I used to think of myself as you saw me
More trouble than worth
But the night air always makes you follow

All I wanted was what I knew how to be
I try every day but it’s not an easy thing for me
But most days are going to have to be good enough
Because some days
The things you say are not the things I see
Some days
You forget all the things you once told me

I used to think of you as a moth to a flame
More magnetic than north
But to touch you is to lay awake nursing my wounds

All you ever wanted was to be the one for me
You tried every day but I’m not easy for you to see
But most days are going to have to be good enough
Because some days
The things I say are not the things you need
Some days
I forget all the things you want me to be

I used to think of us as something to believe
More spirit than earth
But we both walk upon the same shifting sands

All we wanted was what we knew how to be
We tried every day but it’s not easy for you or me
But most days are going to have to be good enough
Because some days
The things we say are not the things we see
Some days
We forget all the things we said we would be

You told the old man he didn’t have a young mind
That whatever he once knew he could never find
And even if he did it didn’t matter to a new generation
They know better because they thrive on his indignation

What kind of clown would mock someone so helpless
He can’t prove himself anymore so you call him useless
It was early one day when you decided to be that way
Something happened so now you mock people who pray

The world has become yours just because of your youth
But that doesn’t have anything to do with the truth
I wonder how much you can learn if you reject the past
You’ve had too many wasted mornings that will never last

The bravery of the spoken word matches the fear you create
The easiest thing is to know which side you should hate
Or maybe that’s the hardest until tomorrow comes to save
Either way you can decide then if you were a afraid or brave

The forces that bear upon a man’s life are felt only by him
You can’t take the time to know when you are driven by whim
The activist mind is uncompromising as a wave before it crashes
It may be your greatest love but it leaves nothing not even ashes

There are so many things to be aware of but why are you so sure
To bury an old man as if his life meant nothing that he could cure
To not know how his children loved him even as they grew old
Is to say all you know is all there is in a world who’s story you told

Her skin crawled with fire ants underneath the surface
She couldn’t sleep long enough to dream anymore
Trying to live a life of perfection
She stopped loving everything she once lived for

She was born a foolish dreamer
But the fear of living her dreams was too much
Not knowing if she would ever reach the sea
She became a rock because it was easier to touch

What she forgot was she was the one to break the soil
It didn’t have to be explained to anyone
It didn’t have to matter at the moment
But one day they would realized her fears were their reflection

She wanted to live in a world of high fashion
Cultural expression alluring  rainbow canyon mystery
Until it’s over you can never know what you came to be
She asked someone a question, they said, "It’s your fantasy"

tell me i'm weird
i will thank you for it
it means you will remember me
like i will remember you
for making me feel different
even if it makes me feel un com for table
like a serpent in your house
i know you want to **** me
but an assassin
or a deadly snake
is what you will remember
even if it's just words

I could follow the rising moon
But there's nothing special about that
I'm not the only one
Sand upon which we walk
Stones which we throw
Stars which we watch
There's enough for everybody
One for each of us
I think I'll just give you mine
Take it
It's yours
What's the point of sharing something so common
Unless it's love

Would you enter a world even if no one would follow
What part of yourself would you give up to remain behind
You might jump up on a stage or instead use a camera on a gorge
But tranquil waters wait for those who do not care what they find

Would you chase a car on foot knowing it might suddenly stop
Is it a metaphor for restlessness or do you want to see your past
I thought an artist was only a reflection of life until I met you
You took your clothes off and said morals weren’t meant to last

Would you leave a world if everyone else left before you did
Why would you go knowing they it would be the same game
You told me perception was easier because it let you sleep
To most people the truth was just a way to shift the blame

Would you rather everyone pray or lay their hands on you
The commune was a choice between the faith and fear
The hallway between them was the only place for true reason
I only saw fear, not faith and the desire to draw someone near

Are you willing to risk a kiss
Or is it the time that passed
The road between us is long
But the memory is longer
It is so easy for me
But not for you
How could you love a man
Who pretends he can't lose
You took a walk
But didn't check the weather
That's the chance you decided to take
I might be a storm
Or light reflecting in a rain forest
You decided to find out
If I was taking pictures
Or showing you my heart

I never really was too sure
Though once I thought I was
I decided to have a look
But found only laws
I could see the light
But didn’t know why
My hair was wet
But my mind was dry
My voice was loud
But knowledge was silent
Inside every wrong word
Were the seeds of violence
Not to naked flesh
But still you bled
I wondered how this could be
That a scar became what I said
I carried it everywhere with me
The only idea I had was guilt
The only smile was knowing it
It was then that doubt was built
I had an opinion once
It was something important
But the man on the corner
Still has a hole in his shoe
The things I can’t see
The life around the corner
A book never opened
Was why I couldn’t warn her
I decided if we’d never met
Your reputation would survive
Because if I say nothing
The truth remains alive

There was a time I didn’t know who to pray to
I knew what I was doing was wrong
I hoped you understood why
I wasn’t sure if heaven was where I belonged

There was a time I thought I knew how to pray
I hoped what I was doing was right
I knew you understood why
Still I wondered if I walked in the light

I’m gonna’ have to die with it
and bring my shame to you
I’m gonna’ have to live with it
tell me who I’m praying to

I have to go it alone on this one
Only the shadows will walk with me now
Being forgiven is the chance I have to take
I hope it happens even though I don’t know how

I’m gonna’ have to die with it
and bring my shame to you
I’m gonna’ have to live with it
tell me who I’m praying to

I can’t ask for things I can’t give
Don't tell me how to die
Tell me how to live
Don't tell me how to lie
Tell me why you forgive

I’m gonna’ have to die with it
and bring my shame to you
I’m gonna’ have to live with it
tell me who I’m praying to

You forgive everyone
but you can’t love them
stop forgiving me
live with me
be my equal

Did you forgive someone
for begging
for being poor
do you understand
or do you make yourself feel better

Are you the one
do you stand on the mountaintop
then tell us
is what you see greater than failure
what else could we learn from the past
how else would we really know
is that what you see
or do you need the distance between us?

I don’t want to be forgiven
I want to be understood
can you see the callousness of my mind
the weariness of my heart
the pride that overcomes shame
yes I know myself
do you know yourself enough to know me?

Don’t ask me to wish you luck with all your money
You spent your time pretending but who’s kidding who
Now you walk away into the sunset that you finally noticed
Justified by the praise of people who want to be just like you

What echoes in my mind is rejection of the message
There are shadows upon my future as if it even exists
The weather is not a summer breeze but a still day
There is no reassurance for a man who resists

But what did they learn from your gift of callous focus?
Ruining people’s lives was just something you had to do
It didn’t matter because the enterprise was your mistress
You tried to hide it but she was all that was inside you

I thought it was creating a need where there was none
Or impressing someone who wished they had an office
But the ink that couldn’t be recycled recorded a past I hate
I wonder if the man who threw it away has clinched fists

Who would relish in destroying a working man’s pride
Where are you when he has to tell his family he’s lost
How hard can life be when they laugh at all your jokes
Except the ones who know your warmth will turn to frost

A vacation without rain isn’t too much to ask is it?
But how do rapids form waiting for someone like me
I’m willing to stand under the falling tears of heaven
I won’t ask nature to be something it wasn’t  meant to be

You have to learn to say thank you but not really mean it
Every pleasantry has a price like every dollar paid is a loss
His wife waits for him to come home knowing his mind won’t
But the old wine is the dividend from him being the boss

I wanted to be everything you have ever dreamed about
But you didn’t know you had to live with another man’s ambition
I wonder if we could move to a small town and leave it all behind
I just want you to believe in me and not someone else’s vision

The shoes were hanging from the wire
I couldn’t tell if they were thrown in anger
Or maybe in jest
They were too small for me to wear
So I let them hang like a sign of discontent
Or to make a birds nest

He like speed bumps on the poor side of town
The time in between reminded him to take his time
Why couldn’t he do it for himself he wondered
He needed help to think of living instead of the climb

She was too tired to go to the fields anymore
Holding a lantern to her face in the mirror
She thought it would be best
The puzzle was done except for one piece
The doorbell rang and her life began again
There was no time for her heart to rest

She wasn't sure but not so much to keep living alone
She thought about how hard it was to compromise
But his car parked by the curb looked so clean
And when she smiled she saw relief in his eyes

you thought it was her decision
but instead it was you
she was ready to give you everything
but it was you who locked the door
you thought she was on the inside
ignoring the sounds
while you knocked and knocked
but those who live on the streets wonder
why you won't come outside
or let them in
you treat her like a guest
visiting her life
doing her a favor
forgiving her
explaining her away
waiting for her to open the door
the one you closed
and as you sit alone
she feels the same as before
lost
loving a man who cannot love anything
except his own mind

Which miracle should I believe
And which one should I reject
When I was neither alive or dead
Nor witness to who laughed or wept
How can I be sure or feel at home?
Deliver reason or madness
What will it be?

Which language is only of man
And which one is from my soul
Will my tongue know to choose
Or will silence keep me whole?
How can say these things to you?
Deliver wisdom or foolishness
What will it be?

Which man should I fear
Will it be too late before I know
Would trust betray my open hand
Or will your warning make it so?
How will faith prove itself to me?
Deliver courage or cowardice
What will it be?

Which man should I ****
And by order of sinner or prophet?
Who will be most blessed
Those who pray or those who profit?
How will I ever know these things?
Deliver right or wrong
What will it be?

we are
part of the procession
of no tomorrows
shrinking… day by day
recording though our memories
upon our hearts
and tiny footprints in ink
windows
opened to nature
birds
that never change
while we…. year after year
lose ourselves
fate seemingly fire upon water
though each generation lives on
ignoring the past
assuming lessons without experience
is a fire without a hero
sin without redemption
is pleasure without love
our vessels
mystical knowledge of our existence
physical feelings of pain
and love
pictures drawn upon skin that burns
and peels
our heart to be revealed
yet buried with our bones
We are
part of the march
of endless past
growing… day by day
forgetting what we cannot change
inside our minds
or scars aging like rings inside a tree
windows
closed to our fears
courage
that never changes
as we… year after year
find ourselves
fate cooling ashes of sacrifice
as each generation lives on
remembering the future
assuming faith will lead us
as a hero wearing a cross
redeemed because we loved
our vessels
shed of our weakness
floating upon the promise of our suffering
mental feelings of pain
because of love
dreams etched upon the walls of longing
that never sleeps
our heart to be experienced
to be saved
along with our souls

To start all over again
Don’t tell me unless you want to
I can be your friend in a new world
Or someone to drag through your past

I’m not going to promise too much
We set our sails to discover but instead run away
Horizons can’t promise anything except to dreamers
And I can’t  live a life tied to the wrong mast

I can tell you think I’m like everyone else
I want to go to heaven
I want to love someone
But I don’t have you
That’s what makes me like everyone else

My eyes give me away
Still alive in fields where I want you to wander
I have a story too, you can see the lost roads
Night or day, sun or rain, my life still holds fast

I want to know all about you
The things that make you so sad
You think about it but you can’t go back
Somebody was your first, let me be your last

I can tell you think I’m like everyone else
I want to go to heaven
I want to love someone
But I don’t have you
That’s what makes me like everyone else

We all have our reasons
But I didn’t choose to love you
You knew how to reach me
When you did I knew I could be true

We each go our own way
It’s not the way I wanted it to end
Now I’m believing in miracles
And dreams about a long lost friend

I need something to believe
But not flying above clouds
Or something I can’t see
I know why I pray at night
It’s for a miracle baby
It’s about you coming back to me

You thought I didn’t really love you
But I could never explain
How life can keep people apart

We all think about tomorrow
I wonder who will be there
I know who I want it to be
But sometimes miracles don’t care

I need something to believe
But not flying above clouds
Or something I can’t see
I know why I pray at night
It’s for a miracle baby
It’s about you coming back to me