Confession.
I miss you.

The first thing I professed
was not the warm feeling I had whenever I saw her
Nor was it that it was I who had sent her flowers
And signed it
"your admirer”


The first thing I admitted
Was my fear
That everything I touched
broke

I remember what you did,
Just like it was yesterday.

Your eyes brimmed with tears,
And you smiled a sad smile.
I smiled back.
-
The first time we were together
It was at your house
You showed me your dearly loved piano
And played me my favorite song
“Clair de Lune”

Wringing the keys dry of passion
I remember thinking
If I poured my soul out like you had
Maybe,
Just maybe,
you’d fall for me.

You showed me
The spines of books you read countlessly
Finger fluttering over every title,
Tracing each word
Like I would your stomach
Each night you spent in my bed
You told me that I
“was like the ocean.”
I didn’t know what that meant at the time.
-
Moon
Moon moon moon moon
The word I engraved in your ribs
every time I touched you.
Moon
My moon.
My lovely moon with sky blue eyes,
That never stopped moving.

I wish you could stare at me like I had you
Maybe you could have seen
That every moment I spent
My gaze was on yours.
But perhaps it was better that way.

-

I was bitter.
You told me not to be.
and so I wasn’t

-

Christmas Eve I came over for dinner
And I bought your mother chocolates
In hopes she would learn to savor you
Like the box she held in her hand.

I never told you how jealous I was
That you had your mother
Despite her flaws

That night I saw you cry for the first time.
When I held you in my arms
You shook because of your father.
You asked me why god would do this to you.

I had no answer
Other than
“I don’t know.”

I should’ve told you
How I had wished I was in your place
That I would take the pain for you.
But I didn’t.
I know you never would have wanted it that way.
-
When your birthday came
I gave you a jadestone bracelet I had crafted myself
I did not tell you the time I took,
Or what it had cost.
I had hoped you would treasure it
Like I to you.
-
A month ago I saw my loving jade
On your best friend’s wrist.

I did not tell you how much that had hurt.
-
You gravitated towards him
And grew closer with others
I drifted
Oh like the sea
-
That March I went to California to see my ma.
I don’t recall if I told you
That every night
I watched that sun sink into the coast.
And it reminded me
The way your hand held mine.

When I came back you spoke of nothing but sadness
I tried endlessly
To tie a knot in that poison-filled vein.
But the sickness spread.
I wish I could’ve been your cure.

You were sand slipping between my fingers
And I did not know how to tell you
That my waves had lost purpose
If there was no shore.
Come Back
-

“Captain O’ Captain,
The eye of the sea
Was the bottom of her heart.”

-
Summer had come
We had spent one tired night watching fields of fireflies
At 1:49 am

I couldn’t find words
To tell you my heart had danced
Like every one of those little lights
When someone even breathed your name.
I wish I had
Summer had gone

-

When fall had struck
You left me.

-

My thoughts clammered in disbelief

You told me it was because it was you and not me.
Just some sort of cliché I suppose.
-
Months later when I asked
You said it was because you thought I had feelings for another.
How foolish I was for letting you believe that
For even a second.

I should have told you
Your soul had sunk a hole in my chest
that beated to the sound of your voice.

My heart sang a sick melody*
-
Two years have past
Last week you told me you left
Because you didn’t feel loved.
You never saw the way my eyes traced up and down your body
but always pulled back to your face

I remember what you did,
Just like it was yesterday.
-
When I confessed
You kissed every one of my fingertips,
And said that you did
so that everything I touched
would feel loved.

Oh, how I wish those words were true.

Today,
I feel like committing suicide.
I'm so tired of it all
Pretending to be someone I'm not.
Putting on a fake smile to please my family and friends, so that they don't worry.
I want them to think I'm happy, even though I'm so far from it.

Its not the new year that finally did it
The 'new year new me' thing.
I know who I am and there's no fixing it.
It's my abusive dad that pushed me over.
The fact that he can't be greatful for anything I do
And when he's asked me to do something I've already done
The job I did for it wasn't enough.
The fact that he yells at me because I ask for something at the store, whether it be socks or a candy bar.
"No you don't deserve that."

Maybe it's the fact that he puts me down so much
And every time I deny his words he gets even more angry
I don't know why I bother
I don't deny them for my own sake.
When I do he throws whatever is nearest
Plates, countless beer bottles, even a chair.
I lower myself to the floor, crying.
Maybe I get him so mad in hopes he'll finally throw something fatal.
A knife that just happens to hit my neck.
I've never had the courage to take my own life.
I am worthless

What ties me here?
It's the one I love.
He deserves so much better than me,
But he says he loves me for who I am.
I am broken.
He's a reason to go too.
The fact that I can't touch the one I love without being pushed away.
Being told no and stop.
I hear the same words my father says in my lovers actions.
"No you don't deserve that."
I know I don't.
I'm sorry for wanting something.

Maybe I want to leave because I have no one to turn to.
Because all of my friends already have their own problems, and I'm just another burden they shouldn't have to deal with.
And anytime I talk to them about my own problems
It becomes a competition
Suddenly we have to top each other on who has it worse.
"I would **** to be in your place, my father is so much worse."
Again.
I hear my father's words
"You don't deserve to complain."
I really don't.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm already dying.
As I write these words my heart tears at my ribs, desperate to get out.
Its like a panic attack within my chest
As if someone grabbed my heart and squeezed it so hard.
I don't want to feel pain anymore.
Please
Not another heart attack.

My little slice of heaven.
It's so far away.
So far.

Sitting with my lover
As he whispers words I haven't known much about.

"You're beautiful."
Who could see beauty in something so far gone.
So dead inside.

"I don't want anyone else."
Who would choose me?
I'm nothing grand.
I'm a dead reflection in a broken mirror.
Nothing to hang on the wall.

"I don't deserve you."
You don't.
I'm so sorry.
You deserve so much better.
Someone who can make jokes with you,
Be more patient than I.
Someone who can love you without dying at the same time.

What sickness lies within me.
I cannot stay here any longer.
My little piece of heaven is too far off.
"Just a few years.
Just a few years more."

I don't have the strength for that.
Not anymore.

I'm sorry.

I don't think you know what you are to me.

My heart makes every excuse for why I should wait

Ground hip bones
And sickened stones
Break a seal
The legacy of fear
Is the folding factor
Against the test of time

Making a silent switch I sew
Tied to tides to break me
Raised to drown its hold
Till it's undone
You know I've known wrong
Laid on my own one ray
Bleed me till were one spot
Save me break my legs
Make me run
You know I've known wrong
Wake me
Writing step by sole
Washed away by repeat
Named by all I tow
Under the sun
You know I've known wrong
Washed up
Set your sail my way
Leave me till the hook drop
Raise over and stray
Save no one
You know I've known wrong.

Depression is a weight in my stomach
Fire on my cheeks
But ice beneath
Conspire Conspire
Against my deadly desire

{~~~}

Could you see your beauty
Through the mirror of my eyes?
Would you see a normal person
Insignificant in size?
Or would you see someone perfect
On both of their sides?
I always wanted to show you
The choice for you to decide
A mirror, so silver, so exact
Showing a reflection calm and real
Sharpening your senses
Cold to touch and still
You look at yourself;
What do you see?
A shattered reflection
Or something to be?
If you saw yourself
Shining back unclear
You are still perfect
The darkness will disappear
I will bring the mirror
A perfect pane of glass
I will show you a reflection
A precise image that will last
The shadows will fade
And you will no longer be blind
To the way you look
Perfectly in my mind
You beauty is breath-taking
More stunning than the moon
Your eyes of brown
Criticizing your image too soon
Your radiance
Coming from your skin
Amazing as you are
Even beauty from within
Just one touch
Is all it takes
For the mirror to crack
The pieces to break
The broken mirror falling
Gleaming a silver flash
Your perfection still reflected
In the mirror that fell to Ash.

{~~~}


*I look back on it now
And wonder how?

Jealousy is hatred dancing along my skin
Accusations swell in my mind
That I itch to unveil
Betrayal, Betrayal
In every fatal detail

Ѫ Can Ѫ
Ꙋou
Ⴔ Wake Ⴔ
The
Փ Sleeping Wolf? Փ
<><><>
Θ Gravity Θ
( Centered )
ϴ Stars ϴ
\/ Aligned \/
<><><>
You are
ж My sense ж
⧭⧬ Of Conception ⧬⧭
<><><>
Ͼ  Lovers of moonlight Ͽ
շ In A Reign շ
Ӿ Of Cedar Ӿ
.::.Towers.::.
<><><>
||||| Shake |||||
Oh
||||||||| Shake |||||||||  
● Nail ●
Me
⥀ To the ⥁
_Floor_
<><><>
In the
փ Book of the Lion փ
It's
⇷Raining⇸
Ψ Violence Ψ

The pines whisper in the wake of your fury
Shaking from the earth in chords
C
       o
            s
                m
                    i
         ­                 c
Winds whip at my royal fur
Grinding my night skin with frost and rime
I swear to you my sold soul is no place to sleep.
Love isn't accepted by these fangs of misguided  pride
It's in my burning hours you'll see my core
made of silver
And my eyes bursting with gold
Shoot me dead, but I refuse to back down
Light me anew purpose
And I'll still fall back on my instincts
Dragons have run their claws in my side
But I care not. I'll bleed a conceded trail
My paw prints left in the deep of space to the cedar forests
I run on for someone I swore an oath to protect
My poet is my blood in my veins
She is the words in my voice
She is my beating heart,
*.::.The only thing that keeps me going.::.

(The Dragon Prince and LycanTheThrope collab)

I’m on the graveyard shift again
Quite the keeper of you
Just a light year from us
We’ve been trading our crimes
The smoke in the air
Couldn't hide my shame
I'm running from nothing, no thoughts in my mind
Oh my heart was all black
I took the dust of a long sleepless night
And confessed I tarnished the gold
The wind took your clothes
Just walking the sidewalks all covered in rain
Love got into one of your stories again
The snow blowing ‘round your hands
While we ache to come home somehow
We watched her smoking autumn in the street
Words mean more at night
From the corners of my room
Please read them by the light of the moon
I'm a shot through the dark scaring the crows
I wish I could leave my bones and my skin
I’ll let my hunger take me there
Lonely is a sick hound digging for bones
If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone
They all know I’m a liar
They just laugh wickedly as I burn her down
And those broken-hearted lovers
They got nothing on me
She's a half-written poem
Spread out across the Great Divide
The dark had wooden teeth that broke up the thin air
And I swallowed the sun and screamed and wailed
When we were just larkspur and leaves
Back when we were buried jewels ‘neath the trees
And all fire and flames took all we trust
We were all silver and stone
And I traded all my thoughts in
For an hour of sleep in the snow
Sweet morphine curls a smile when the sadness hits
She's whispering so softly I can hear it all
Won't you come to my house tonight
I got this window that looks out to Orion
The Universe is wounded beautiful
I sent her my warmth and my silence
Lit up every campfire I found out in the dark
I quit counting stars that night in the cold
Kiss me so I remember how
We'll turn these sorrows into strangers
Learned the language of the Mockingbird
She took and twisted all my words
With winter trees and hungry wolves
In your past like a lover can be drowning water
Walking proud and lonesome now
Oh I'm yearning for the pack
Broken bottles shine just like stars
Seeing those golden oaks turn to timber
The daughter of the Northern Lights
Finds my face with her fingertips
Now we are rust coloured stones.
You’ll love her till it all goes dark
Come undone under the lion’s thorns
And I’m saving all my sleep for another life
Wished I could follow a hidden moon eight stories high.
Will we ever fall?

Ah what a shame
This stolen song was never meant to last

~The Dragon Prince
**~Lycan

I've got some promises to keep


There's a degree of difficulty
In dealing with me
From my haunted past
Comes a daunting task
A midnight escape is stuck in my mind
There's not an open window I can find
Staring at the wall
Forgetting it all
I'll guard your heart and forget my own
To make up for the happiness you've shown
Whispering to him absently
I'm trying to prevent another tragedy
Wilting bones and herbal fear
Are all at once crystal clear
These fevered dreams
Bringing terror screams
What is running through your veins?
A blood that cause pain
I've drained your life that night
Alone with the dark sight
The fires set ablaze
Not even phased
When the smoke does pass
I'll rise from the ash
And show you a burning Phoenix free
But what if I can't be all that you need me to be?

Another night without sleep

On my throne
Your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful.



*I have to find you

I've rigged the game
I've cheated love
And pursuated death

Join me in this Last supper
Rise up
And chip your chalices

Oh this bread has never been so bitter
Communion begetting

If you strain
You can hear the metal ringing
In the night

Time,
In all its beauty
Doesn't *wear
Instead,
It* abrades the  **soul

Moving like the speed of sound
Feet can't keep on the ground
Can't stay in one place
Keep moving

One place,
****

'Cause I can't stop time
You keep blurring in my mind
And space is undefined
These moments left behind
We can't stay the same
All the reason to blame


'Cause I can't stop
T    I    M    E

{~~~}
You say you like me.
You say you want me.
But-
You don't want to make a commitment.
Then that girl
The one I called my best friend.
She likes you
But it's okay
She can flirt with you
"I guess."
She can go ahead and claim you.
"You can't really do anything because you two aren't dating.
I can flirt with him as much as I want."
She can just spit that in my face.
And it's okay.
Oh this salt has never burned such open wounds.
Why don't you just drag a knife down my back.
So I'm just sitting here tearing myself apart.
The tears are running down my face
I have no one to turn to but you
But how can I talk to you of how I feel?
You do feel the same way about me like I do to you.
I'm not that mad.
I'm just utterly depressed.
Not because of what you think.
It's not because she's flirting with you,
No.
It's because what she said is true
We're not together.
You're not mine
{~~~}

There's a sick twisted feeling in my gut,
As you step away with eyes of hate.

*"Don't touch me."

I'm falling over edges with you.

War Dog

I've tried to keep a close distance
But you left me behind.
Here I go
Walking down the street on my own
We are not the same.

Be true to me
Tell me I'm not alone
Prove to me
That you'll open the door
To let this war dog in
With his cut ears
Close up the hole
That tore through my skin
I'm a dog with a broken leg
Tendons too torn to mend.

"Trust me to take you home."

You'll put me to sleep.

I don't want to die alone.

You said you'd be there.




I won't fall in love with you this time.

I’m bending time to break my shins
Sputtering like blood amongst the rocks
Nesting in sorrow and tailing the wick something sharp
If this era wasn’t meant to char
Then why did the candle wash every tower
From here to the sea?

Dreams beckon you
A quest to find seething lines
Bravery isn't a trait I believed you lacked
You’re a lack of lies entitled to hunger
In a mouth of iron sleep

Timber wakes in the golden age
Maybe if I was bold like your key
I could carve myself a new shadow
And put my bets on the cold long promise to appear
Holding Atlas up as he holds the sky
Suspicion he described to me

You’ve been cornered by natural desire
Pillars of salt holding up your favors
Signs of a ruptured heart
Bleeding ‘neath your skin
But who shall rift your bruised weight?

I shifted through the gallowed falls
And found constellations inspired by my scars
But reality sunk my stone in the river
Deeper than the ground walks
Fear fires on mistake
Cravings of love in death
Swallowed

*It’s all in the sleight of hand

{~~~}

Winter has fallen

12 feet under my won problems
It's amazing how cold it feels
Ice spiraling up my back
The snowflakes cracking
But the ice is hollow
Frost-covered yet not completely frozen
The rime freezes my heart
Empties my essence
But keeps my soul warm

Fall will rise

{~~~}

It's not a Walt Disney thing
They don't just pick off the sick an dying ones
They are perfectly capable of taking down a full, healthy adult.
Wolves were designed by thousands of years of evolution
They were bred and raised to ****
Not for sport, but for survival.
They don't **** needlessly
It may be intimidating
Seeing the blood on their face
Their glowing eyes staring back
But if you're going to tell me that
Wolves are man-eaters
Blood-thirsty killers
Why don't you take a look around
Most animals go corrupt because of humans.
We take their land
Take their young
**** off their pack-mates
We even trap them
For pets, or zoos
Whatever reason we want.
I don't know about you
But if someone took my home
My kids
Killed my family and friends,
And then cornered me
I'd fight back with every ounce of strength I had.
I don't know what they're gonna do to me
But I'd assume they'd do what they did to the others
And
I'd fight for my life


They're killers,
*But wolves have to make a living too

A story within a poem

{~~~}

I’m the only one left.
My pack was killed off, one by one.
Death shadowed me
Followed everywhere I went
Soaking my fur black
Killing my sight

I remember the look on her face
Her fur matted in the chase
Teeth stained red
Eyes with a wild dying light
Her muffled breathing slowing
I felt her life stop underneath her chest

Then you came
You saw your trophy on the ground
Next to a live one
You drew a silver stick
The sun glinted off like water with light
You stuck it in my side

You drug it up my already dead fur
Ripping up my flesh
I felt it clack against my ribs
With a sick yelp
I turned my tail and ran
Away from your prize

I wandered the forest alone
With Death on my back
Running from you
The stick was still in my side
Red water ran down my skin
Pooling everywhere I went

I could smell you following me
That is all that kept me on the run
I could feel my life drain away
I was slowing
Enough for you to catch me
Enough to finish the ****


It was at the field of feathers you found me
Just beyond the pines
I was lying, panting from the chase
Death was staring me in the face
And when my vision cleared I saw you instead
Watching me carefully

You had your loud stick at your side
Your face was hard like rocks
You just watched me
I stared back
Prepared for death
I’d die the lonely wolf

Your face softened
You neared closer
I had no strength to protest
You dropped lower
Almost crawling towards me
While I was crawling toward the darkness

You were just a blur now
Your hand closed around the silver stick
While your other hand traced the wound
You looked at that hand
Which was now blurred red
You muffled something softly

I looked up
A growl rose in my throat
I could see it
I couldn’t let it happen
You jumped back
The loud stick raised at me

I dragged myself to my feet
Snarling while red water fell over the feathers
It was so hard to see
But I could smell it
The intention to ****
You edged back

I took off running
Coming right at you
You howled at me
I was at full sprint now
But your stick
It howled loud and quick

That’s when I felt it
The burning in my chest
My eyes widened
I fell and stumbled
Feathers stirring in the sky
I tried to prop myself up
But I couldn’t

You stared at me
I panted out what was left of the red water
I whined at you
Just turn around
I barked; yelped helplessly
It was too late

The bear that was behind you
Struck you down
Tearing your flesh wide open
The red water was everywhere
I couldn’t do anything
I could only watch

The bear finally stopped tearing
It’s black eyes stared at you
A moment longer
A heap of red flesh
Barely breathing
It wandered off into the pines

I whined at you
You cried back
Darkness was on the edge of everything
Closing in on me
Closing in on you
I could hear your pain

I dragged myself closer to you
Whining
I could make out your eyes
Wide with fear
I groveled closer
You gingerly twitched your hand

I was close now
I could feel your life against my fur
Beating slowly
Your were almost gone
I licked an apology on your hand
I’m sorry

You looked at me
Your hand moving up my drenched fur
You grabbed the silver stick
And slowly drew it out
It didn’t hurt
I was already broken

You looked at me
And breathed one last time
I saw myself in your blue eyes
You had a soul too
I filled myself with air
And howled for the last time

A ragged voice in the night
Blood-red feathers in the sky
Floating to the stars
I was singing for me
I was singing for you
I was singing for us

My shoulders slumped
I fell to the ground
My sight was gone
I couldn’t feel you dead-still next to me
But I could still hear
My song echoing

Wolf song
If we should die tonight
We should die together

{~~~}