Here's a thought
I'd like to know
If you could feel suicidal
Without being depressed
Does that make sense?
Does making sense even matter
If that's how it feels?

I know I'm happy
And I know it's real
I'm surrounded by the people I love
And I've found love in the things I do

But I see a bridge
And the only thing I can think of
Is jump
I look at cars on the busy streets
From the passenger seat
And think
Maybe today
One of them will just so happen
To hit me, maybe
Maybe
Hopefully

Smiling is genuine
I don't fake faces, it's just not me
Yet in the safety of my home
I'm not safe in my own head

I don't know how
To ask for help
They'll say I'm fine
And I am fine
But I'm not
And I know it

Help.
Please.

If I disappeared;
just gave up,
would a sole notice
my life had stopped?

Maybe entangled,
they would stay;
their eyes locked,
keys thrown away.

Would they remember the loneliness
that possessed my being,
or would they remember the lies
I allowed them to believe?

Each
Person
Is important
To
Someone
Else
Even if they don't realize it