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Fritzi Melendez Aug 2018
i wish you coul(d) gauge my eyes (o)ut
and peek ins(i)de the hollow walls
dripping with red pain(t)
please look closer
  Jul 2018 Fritzi Melendez
Em MacKenzie
My monsters mate then they duplicate
I offer contraception; but it's too late.
They wish to reproduce, I only wish they'd reduce,
and it would be truly perfection if we could call a truce.

And my demons dance, what a sweet romance,
I turn off the music but they move to chants.
They wish to cause a stir, but I would prefer
if they wouldn't abuse it; it's meant to deter.

Play a song and put on a show,
they wish to belong but I want them to go.
There's no escape, there's no debating
that they're in great shape and the monsters are mating.

My monsters mate after their date,
I provide protection but they won't take the bait.
They crave sweet intimacy, just like me,
but the affection is laced with toxicity.

And my demons dance almost in a trance,
now I'm going deaf from my own rants.
They wish to cause a scene and I'm not too keen,
turn right cause on the left the grass could always be more green.

They sway to a loving bloom,
and they're banging hard in my head.
So I tell them to just get a room
and they say I should go to bed.

Play a song and put on a show,
their love might be wrong but atleast it creates a glow.
There's no end in sight and my nerves are grating,
day always turns to night and the monsters are mating.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2018
shush
just for
a moment.

breathe
in the
oxygen.

do you
feel it?
filling up
your lungs?

do you
feel my
presence
as my
chest moves
rhythmically
with yours?

do you
feel your
heart beat
like crazy
when I
make love
to you?

do you
feel the
warmness
of the bed
as we
intertwine hands?

would it
make you
feel better
if I
stayed here
forever?

would you
hold me
tightly as
our souls
become one?

do you
hear the
breeze
coming from
the opened
window?

it sounds
peaceful
doesn't it?
just being
alive?

just
breathing
the same
air?

tasting sweet
strawberry lips

being rebellious
on touching
works of
art, staining
canvases with
finger prints.

feeling our
pulsating hearts
run our
blood through
our veins.

wrapping my
arms around
you, hoping
I can
freeze time
forever.

your sweet
smell that
sweeps my
feet over,
intoxicating
me with
this linger
and memory
of this
peaceful day.

no,
don't say
anything.

let our
minds communicate
let us
drown in
each other
let us
love
let us
be tranquil
let us
kiss
let us
breathe.

just for
a moment
before the
commotions
of the
world resumes.
sweet silence grows.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2018
depression lingers
like your cologne on my clothes

depression lingers
like mosquitoes in lamps

depression lingers
like tears that stain your pillow

depression lingers
like a traumatic memory

depression lingers
like the weight of you on me

depression lingers
like my lipstick on your cigarette

depression lingers
like a drug addict's binge

depression lingers
like the scars on my skin

depression lingers
like red paint on broken mirrors

depression lingers
and it never goes away
it never stops
there is no end

i wish friendship would linger longer,
maybe then

depression would stop ringing my door bell at 3AM.
been in a bad state of depression again.
Fritzi Melendez Jul 2018
end this unnecessary bickering
why does it have to be this way
i toss you a ******* bone
in return, ****** stones are thrown
bruising me
hurting me
torturing me
pummeling me deeper
in this god forsaken soil
where hell lives just underneath
waiting to embrace me.
...
but you don't see that, do you?
I'm dwindling to raise you up, but you say thank you by stepping on me.


By skinning off the ant,
Came out an elephant

By digging the earth,
We lighted the sky

By walking on the path,
We started flying

Through the parched desert,
We saw mirage ocean emerged

Through the sun's brightness,
Our moon & stars sparkled

By staring at clear skies,
We invited rainy clouds

Drowning off our minds,
Floated us to enlightenment

Stopping the walk of thought,
Started our journey to FREEDOM

By forgetting our lives,
Connected us with LOVE

By skinning me,
Came out YOU

By Being YOU,
YOU became me

And...
In that way

Being in LOVE
We became "ONE"



Fritzi Melendez Jul 2018
i stole a cigarette.
no, this isn't a metaphor.

there's just times where I feel
like I deserve to be what falls in the ash tray.

I don't know why I keep trying to harm myself,
If things are going okay...

It's like, I'm so used to the torture and pain,
I don't ever want it to go away.

No wonder I had clung to my razor blades
No wonder I had clung to the trauma
No wonder I developed depression
and look at me now, stealing cigarettes.

Desperately trying to find a way to destroy myself
Fill my lungs with smoke
A stench that is more than just stuck on clothes.

It's the past, coming back to life
inhale
inhale
inhale more
cough

You want to smother these thoughts
Lose them in this smoke and fog

But no, there's no escape
Not even when the cigarette is done

The scars still string your skin
The pain woven deep into your veins
The ****** scabs you keep picking at

It's a coping mechanism
Or a way to slowly die

Is it that... I need to feel something, always?
Is it that... I have fallen in love with Death?

The couple of times, where he teasingly came
close to...
give me a fatal kiss.

Is this what I lust over?
Is this... what I want to feel?
...

In any case... this cigarette is still lit up.
Drifting me more out of myself.

And I disappear like the smoke in the wind.
I stole a cigarette.
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