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 Oct 2017 Nobody
Kelsey Rhoads
She stood on the bridge
In silence and fear
For the demons of darkness
Had driven her here

They cut her heart
Right out of her chest
Making her believe
That the demons knew best

They were always there
Sometimes just out of sight
Waiting in the background
Till the time was right

These demons were destructive
Knocking down the life she knew
Hating everything about her
She hated herself too

These demons can't be seen
But they're far from fairy tales
They live inside your mind
Their evilness prevails

So on the bridge she stood
About to end the fight
Then she stopped and thought
I'll fight them one more night
If you understand, i'm sorry. Stay strong friend.
 Oct 2017 Nobody
Kelsey Rhoads
It isn’t brave, and it isn’t clever,
to inflict pain on other people forever.
Life isn’t all about you.
Your life isn’t all about you.
That rope hangs your family too,
and those pills **** your friends.
The pain, hurt and upset
doesn’t stop when your life ends.
So please don’t do it.
Please just take a moment to think.
People will die with you
when you drink that deadly drink.
Don’t tell me I don’t understand.
Twice I tried and twice I bailed.
Twice I tried and twice I failed.
Don’t tell me I don’t understand.
I came through, and so can you.
Let that light at the end of the tunnel be a fresh start.
Don‘t let it be the glint of the blade that enters your heart.
Think about how many have died.
Think about how many have sat and cried.
Think again about your selfish suicide.
 Oct 2017 Nobody
Kelsey Rhoads
I aim the gun
Its against my head
One right move
And I'll be dead
Because my only wish
Will never come true
It's not much
All I want is you
But you're so far away
You're not coming back
This pain is too much
Like an aerial attack
Unsuspected
Unprepared
Almost like
No one cared
So suicide, suicide
My new best friend
Suicide, suicide
My final end
Suicide, suicide
You saved me
Suicide, suicide
I'm finally free
If you understand, i'm sorry. stay strong friend.
 Sep 2017 Nobody
Rebel Heart
I just want to pack my bags
And vanish
Leave without a trace

Spend the rest of my life
In solitude
Knowing
I'm no longer
A burden to you...
...
Maybe this way I'll find me,
The real me,
The one that lives outside of
These useless broken words
The one that breathes outside of
This loop of a mess that's become
My nightmare and my life all at once
...
Maybe this way I can finally
Throw away my masks
Maybe this way I can finally
Taste freedom
Maybe this way
I might even discover
The meaning of
True happiness

*And maybe this time
I won't run away from it
"She loved mysteries so much that she became one..." Maybe she became one to finally unlock the mysteries of the world...
Front Page (9/13/17)
(Just some scribbles on a lined paper someone will find years from now in the trash...)
 Sep 2017 Nobody
Rebel Heart
Standing in a sea of people
As a lone island
Floating around
In the endless nothingness
Drifting away and drowning
Falling apart
And piecing yourself back together
Over and over
And over again
Every single second of the day
Wishing for it to all stop
Helplessly knowing
Nobody will ever hear
Your silent cries
...
Noone could ever save you
Because how could they
Ever save you
From yourself
...
It's hearing yourself talk
And move
And smile
Maybe even laugh
But knowing
It's all an act
With noone to yell "cut"
At the end of the scene..
Because your whole life
Has become a giant play,
Where there could be
A thousand people
And a thousand lights,
There could be a thousand claps
And a thousand great nights
Still all the while
You'd be a thousand times lonely
Drowning in the lights
Drowning in the laughter
Drowning in yourself
All because
You've become too good
At acting
Like you could swim
...
Depression is killing yourself
Slowly
Every day
Every minute
Every single second,
From the inside out
Because you don't know
Who you are anymore
Except for an empty body
Defining disappointment
And a burden
And a void of fake
All wrapped in one.
...
Depression is Loneliness
Depression is Acting
Depression is Drowning
But most of all,
Depression is Me.
Excerpts from a journal entry a while back. I forgot I even wrote this as I hate going back and rereading my own material but I found it and it described how things have been lately. It hasn't been edited but some parts have been edited out... feel free to leave your thoughts.
Life has its valleys but it has its peaks too even if you can't see it, so keep holding on. And if you ever need someone to talk to I'll always be here to throw you a lifeline...

(Front page 9/16/17)
 Sep 2017 Nobody
Rebel Heart
Silence
 Sep 2017 Nobody
Rebel Heart
Sometimes,
There's more said
In the
silence
Than in
These broken
*words
I say too much in the silence
Because no matter how hard I try there never will be enough words in the world to describe anything...
 Sep 2017 Nobody
Rebel Heart
Naked.
 Sep 2017 Nobody
Rebel Heart
Your eyes have seen all my demons
Your heart peeked at my soul
You even had tea with my skeletons
You picked up my pieces and made me whole

So why is there still something hallow
Entangled in the midst of my chest
Why are there horrid thoughts lurking,
These lingering demons leaving me stressed.

I wear my scars on my skin,
You tell me they make me strong,
I hesitantly take off my masks,
And wait for you to figure out you're wrong

I stand there waiting,
Doubts thundering in my brain
Slowly the lies diminish
My secrets wash away in the rain

Now there's just me and you
Though some of my demons linger too
And tonight I'm completely
Vulnerable...
Tonight I'll be completely
True
Tonight I'll open up my heart,
Completely
Just for *you
Intimacy like no other is the intimacy of the mind and connection of the heart and soul....
Written by a more younger version of RH that I found to be quite pleasing... Enjoy ~BM
 Sep 2017 Nobody
Rebel Heart
I guess
That after you,
I'm just* *cursed
To forever fear
Opening up
To anyone
Ever again

...
I've hidden
The pieces
Left of me
Deep inside
My steel heart

...
I'm just cursed
To forever push
Everyone away

...
Everywhere I look
I see these
Iron walls
Constricting
And yet...

...
I'm just cursed
To forever live
Behind these walls
I keep putting up

...
It's Dark
And Abandoned
Here
But it's
The only place
That's
Safe

...
I'm just
Cursed Lonely
**For forever and over again
It was hard enough knocking down my walls the first time around... thanks to you I'm almost unreachable now (excerpts from a journal a couple years ago so it has a bit of an immature vibe to it but I don't like editing my past works so here it is)
 Sep 2017 Nobody
JoshuaHaines
It all ends.
Just like that drink you sip.
Just like that cigarette you smoke.
As slow as you can.
Just to savor the flavour.
But that will end.
As it all will.
The reason of it all.
Is still lost in the sauce.
Just like all of us.
The sauce that's slowly dissipating.
The taste that's gone sour.
Instead of spicy.
It all ends.
Your palate adjust.
Your life adjust.
Your family adjust.
We all conform to the idea of the way.
Were all sick.
Were all dying.
Were all headed towards our end.
Some quicker than others.
But etheir ways it's still the same pace.
The fight we fight is all for nothing.
But it's something we all feel we need.
Regardless the need we feel to fight.
It's an illusion.
That's all we are, that's all life is.
An illusion.
Dream, as you will, dream as you will.
Nothing ever matters in the end.
The mistakes you make.
The wrongs you've done
The rights.
The remorse.
The love.
Nothing matters, it all ends sometime.
So why care in the begining.  
Who knows why we try.
Or why we care.
It all ends....
I'm drunk..... That's when you get the greatest truth from this writer.
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