when i look at you
i want to feel nothing
but i feel everything
and my chest hurts.

you don't deserve a word
not even a poem
how does it feel
when you lost the people
you confessed you "love"

how did it feel
when your own medicine
ran through your throat?
how does it feel
to steal so much time
from someone who treasured it?
holding it close to her chest
against her rib cage

how does it feel
to steal something you don't own
from a family you "care" for

and how does it feel?
to see someone who loves me
better than you do
because you thought
no one could ever love me like you

The marriage of sunshine and seawater
turned to bristling diamonds is a form of communication , a plea from an alien nation , a call for a congregation* ...

Hey dork with the beautiful eyes,
How long will it take to realize,
You'll be fine, don't be surprised,
Problems disappear like water dries,

No more worries, no more fears,
Boy don't let me see you tears,
Your heart holds the future and steers,
Away from the discord that it hears.

You've got this, yes I'm sure,
Your beautiful soul will be your cure,
I see brilliance in your future,
I believe in you.

Together six years,

alone again.

A swift crack to the head and suddenly I'm off my feet again.
A bit of paranoia settling in.
A lingering sense of regret over things unsaid.
Things I might want to give to friends just in case I never see them again.

A quick jab to the ribs and suddenly I'm taking it all in.
Seeing the importance of it.
The implications of knowing where to begin.
Beginning again after everything else has come to an end.

A clenched jaw with fingernails digging in.
A slip of the tongue that should've been bitten off.
A song sung while lying in a field thirty yards from the bar.
A poster hung from the walls of the place where we used to live.
A bit of bone sticking out from a sawed-off limb.

A fist hits me in the stomach and suddenly I can stomach anything.
The twists and turns and cigarette burns and the lessons twice learned but never accepted.

This is how it starts.