it’s okay
to dissolve
in the process
of creating yourself.

it’s okay
to leave parts
of you behind
if they no longer
serve a purpose in
becoming who you are.

there is still
space
for love in your
sadness.

the people who
claim to love you
with their words but
doesn’t respect you with
their actions doesn’t deserve
your love.

(stay away from them)

and the sun
looked down at her
and said:

"wake up.
everything that is
asleep inside of you.
wake them up.

you are too
delicate to heal this way."

the sun is exfoliating
my skin for you.

just give me a minute,
my love.

i am shedding the dry
past away.

the way
your life
blossoms
depends not
in the way
that you water it

but in the way
that you replant it
over and over in
different mindsets.

in different soils
and environments.

seeing what suits
your characteristics.

seeing how much
the sun touches your leaf.

and how you release
oxygen back to the world.

i overthink.
i over love.
i over feel.

i am the sea
or i am nothing.

I am hopeful.
The flowers are calling my name.

I am not yet ready.
To be destroyed by my own flame.

appear to me
in your truest form.

for i am present
in your delicate
presence.

scarred.
traumatized.
and destroyed.

and i never have
seen anyone as beautiful
as you.

Take my despair,
I want it not.


For I have learned
to live one day at a time.


For I have learned
to live without expectations.


So take my despair,
I want it not.


For I have finally learned
that nothing stays the same
forever.


For I have finally learned
that nothing is more powerful
than hope.


So take my despair,
I want it not.

i.


there are days
when my stars
align just for me.


my inner cosmos
telling me to write
about the pain.


my inner cosmos
telling me to expand
the universe within.


ii.


there are days
when my stars
collapse.


i am made of pure
darkness.


i am made of pure
anxiety—


terrified of not seeing
the sun again.


iii.


there are days
when my stars
rise—


like the infinite suns
that they are.


illuminating my being.

I am the moon,
and sometimes I shine full in my dark,
and sometimes I shine half in my dark,
and sometimes I am the darkness myself.

I live my life staring at the clock.
I always think that I don’t have much
time to be the person whom I want to be.

I’ve become a man of time and anxiety.
I can’t relax when I know that each second
is the youngest that I’ll ever be as it fades into nothing.

my heart goes out to
people who are abused
all their life.

i wish them peace.
i wish them hope.
i wish them love.

i wish them healing
in a life filled with sadness.

We do not remember the days we hurt,
We remember the moments we heal.

We do not remember days of despair,
We remember moments of hope.

We do not remember days of sorrow,
We remember moments of love.

i pray.

i pray that i will recover from this illness.
i pray that i will feel the joy, peace, and love
that i’ve been longing for.

i pray.

i pray that i will have the strength to better myself.
i pray that i will never lose hope in times of despair.

i pray.

i pray that i will heal every single day of the rest of my life.
i pray that i will experience less pain and more pleasure every
single day of the rest of my life.

i pray.

i pray that i will think more rationally.
i pray that i will feel that the things around me are real and not
an illusion or a dream.

i pray.

i pray that i will soon get well.
i pray for the belief that i will soon get well.

amen.
amen.
amen.

you will sad your way out of life.
you will cry.
you will scream.

and when the sadness is over.
you will try.
you will dream.

from the garden of despair
you've been transferred here.

you little flower.
you little symbol of hope.

there's no need to shed a tear.
there would always be peace here.

you late bloomer.
i know that you would cope.

there's a bluebird inside
my brain and i let everybody
hear it sing.

the more people listens  
the lesser it bothers my life.

i am learning
to unlearn my
pain,

and that takes
pain.

to learn that
i am allowed
to live

without carrying
it anymore.