justine grace

justine grace Jun 2023

here i am on a train ride
on it for the first time in years
when it was supposed to be with you this year
we made plans to travel more together many times
and we wanted to make it work this time around
but now it ***** that you ain’t here

maybe it’s for the best
maybe it’s meant for me to make memories with my girls
maybe we were not meant to make any more memories and be each other’s first time for everything

you were great, but you were broken
and you dragged me down the pit with you

as selfish as I can be as a person
you were way worst than i can ever be

i loved you with you all my heart
but now all I have left to offer you is my rage
i don’t wish you the best
i don’t wish you happiness
i wish you'd cry
regret
suffer
for all the torture you’ve put me through

it's been three weeks and i'm still in hell but deep down, i know that i am slowly healing from the heartache. days feel like nights and i feel helpless at times. but it's okay, time will heal this pain. they said you should not regret the past memories that used to make you happy, but with all my heart – i regret meeting you. i regret loving you. i regret dumping everyone for you. and i regret for not seeing your true colours since day one. i wish you the worst in life. karma might hit me but honestly, what you put me through is already feeling like i'm in hell so i'm good.

#love #relationships #breakup #sadness #pity #heartache #miserable #regret #betrayal #traitor

justine grace Jun 2022

you were the reason why i found my soulmate

6 months.

it only took six months and a scare for me to look at you differently. to face reality that we weren't meant to be.

if i knew what was happiness before? i was wrong. i was dead wrong.

our memories made me happy. you? not so much.

i appreciate you for all that you've done but it's about time i moved on.

it's about time i call it. that this is done for good.

that i'm done for good.

it was great while it lasted.

but until i'm fully healed, i don't think i can ever be around you.

be happy, love. you deserve it.

and i know i will be happy too.

that both of us would walk passed each other with our new love of our lives and think deep inside, "you were the reason why i found my soulmate."

thank you.

justine grace Mar 2022

guess you weren't that love of mine

you know what *****?
waking up all alone in the morning, without him next to you.
you know what *****?
that all of his clothes you have doesn't smell like him anymore.
you know what *****?
no longer receiving forehead kisses and unexpected hugs.

it just ***** that you could spend all this time with someone you thought you'd marry, just to find out 5 years later that it wasn't going to work out.

if only, there was time.
if only, someone showed us a sign.
if only, we could have turned back time.

that's a lot of what-ifs to ponder, but I suppose it is what it is.

a love that was snatched from you in the blink of an eye even after the grieving phase is over, with explanations that you will never accept.

a love that was undeniably strong especially when you thought the two of you would be forever.

It's been three days since I called it off for good on Monday, 14/3/22. Pretty shattered if you ask me, but such is life, isn't it? Everything was fine until it wasn't anymore.

"Man, you really brought me back down."

#breakup #broken #anxious #relationships #heartbreak #promises #family #ray #darkness #sadness

justine grace Jun 2018

love taught me

love is when you've gotten your heart broken
love is when you've cried yourself to sleep many times
love is when you can feel your chest hurting miserably
love is pain

but
love is also beautiful
love is kind
love is a fortune
and is a bigger fortune when you love the right person

love is going through hardships together
love is figuring things out together
love is saying sorry first because you don't want your other half hurting

love is more than what you knew and what you thought
love is beyond the cliche endings in a Nicholas Sparks novel or film

love is meant to be for infinity
love is only meant for that one person
for the longest time of your life
love is when you thought you found love before but was wrong
and when you are in a healthier and happier relationship

you now know love better
that regardless how life treats you
love comes along
the right love
and with that
you're free
falling more in love with him
everyday
every night
love is love

Love is about patience; trust; compassion. As the days go by, I am lucky that I have met a wonderful man that I can call mine. Everyday, I look forward to just seeing him even when we are only apart for a couple of hours. I fall for him more and more each day and I can't express how lucky I am to even feel this kind of contentment. Long before him, I was in a toxic relationship and thought that, that was love. And now that I am being treated with love and compassion everyday, it feels surreal. In the beginning, I was so anxious because I always expected him to do something wrong, always thought "anytime now he'll show his colours" but little did I know he was already showing me his colours and they were genuine feelings. And it warms my heart to know that I am capable to be loved instead of being someone to run their mouth at. My love, if yre reading this - I thank God everyday for you and you're a dream I never want to stop dreaming about. I love you.

#love #happiness #rejoice #you #boyfriend #falling #bestfriend #dream #patience #kind

justine grace Jun 2018

What is life if promises are meant to be broken?

Have you ever wondered what if one day everything you ever dreamed for crumbles?

The friends you call friends aren't really your friends anymore.

The family you once thought that is forever isn't much family to you, anymore.

The love of your life that promised you the world, just can't accept you for who you are anymore - despite of all the promises made.

Life isn't like how things were described in a Jane Austen novel.

Life is beautiful yet its' misery taunts us and breaks us down, minute by minute each day.

What is life without meaning? What is life without people caring?
What is life if promises are meant to be broken?

Really though. What the heck is life if it's all suffering and neverending.

If this is what you call living, then I suppose it is time to figure an easy way out.

It's 4.20am from where I am, and just thoughts I have lingering through my mind. I don't have the perfect relationship with my family as a matter of fact, my friends are slowly turning their backs against me at the time I need help and support the most, and the only thing I have now is my boyfriend. The love of my life, and he is the only person in my life that I wouldn't want to lose. He is amazing, he supports and loves me in everything I do but sometimes I can be a handful and although I know I can get under his skin, I love him for the patience he has in him and for tolerating me. I am never perfect but if you're with me, you're my ride or die for life. So thank you, mi amor. But besides that, life is just slowing me down and as much as I want to laugh and shake the thought of sadness and be all okay about it, I just can't. The past couple of days I have been losing it. My insecurities are sky high, my tolerance for other people's **** (hypocrite I know) are above and beyond, and I am getting so witty and angry at the littlest of things and I can feel my anxiety getting worse. I am becoming someone I was years ago, I am becoming this whole toxic being that even I can't accept and I don't know what to do. I just want love from the people I love.

#broken #depression #anxiety #life #promises #relationships #family #friendships #darkness #beyond

justine grace Jun 2018

a story about how it's all her fault

she walked and wailed for miles, she screamed for help, but no one seems to be around.

what did she do wrong, she is always nice, always wanted to make them happy but it seems like nothing's being reciprocated.

the clouds above her head circles around,and the crows gawk at her.

what is wrong, no, what did she do wrong.

This was the time where all hell broke loose and I was slowly hitting rock bottom. Sweet 16? More like **** 16. There were the days where I accepted that not everyone you meet are genuine human beings and sometimes you just have to live with it. However, with that being said, it hurts and breaks you in everyway possible when your bestfriends starts to turn their back against you and life is ******. High school is **** I tell you - not everyday, but days like this when I find out stuff that weren't meant to be. If heartbreak is sad, imagine losing your bestfriend of lies. That **** broke me. For real. And then they question why do I don't trust people easily. Hmm, cute.

#friendship #deceiving #backstab #lies #hell #anxiety #panic #attacks #broken #heart

justine grace May 2018

I once was lost, but now I am found

When I'm broken, you fix me
When I'm sick, you heal me
When I'm down, you bring smile to my face
When I'm in hell, you make all the bad go away

What did I do to deserve you
To begin with, do I even deserve you
You're so kind, full of heart
And you always see the good in me
Even when I feel that I'm such a bitter person

You help me in many ways you can
Even when it's not your job to do so
You make things seem alright
And that I don't have to worry about anything
Because I have you

I don't know
I really don't know
I don't deserve any of this
Neither going though hell in this place called home
Or you

But one thing for sure is
I am certainly blessed for you
Not just today, but everyday
I thank God for bringing you to my life
For bringing someone who cares about me more than I do for myself
For loving when I'm down
For believing me when I'm lost

Sorry for being mia. Just been through and still going through some **** but oh well, I guess life throws you a curveball and you just got to try your best to dodge it. This poem is dedicated for that one person who has always been by my side through the good and the bad, and has always supported me in everything I do. Thank you, my love. You are my all.

#blessed #relationships #trust #light #love #heart #heal #matters #care #person