Alas! Awaked again
Enough to send me tumbling down
Into what might be something familiar
Yet entirely new

Coming in
without permission
Controlling me
like a puppet to a puppet master

Taking pride in its reign
Towering high above my will
Like fire that never cease to grow

Though sometimes away
but not for good
Gone
But surely to come back

I sigh in confusion
Helpless in this happenstance
I'm human, yes
But it's the most annoying thing ever.

A young lad
with hopes and dreams
to venture into the unknown
was his own feat

To sail the high winds
and to conquer the raging seas
To see the sky change
and lights that paint the sky

A young lad he was
Brave, and daring
A lions heart he holds
because Adventure He Craved!

Now i know where my heart should be.
not here, nor there, or where it wants to be.
but here it'll be placed where it should be.

No more games
No more lies
No more hinderances
that would cause me to fall behind

Its not the end
Its not the end
Its just not the right time.

Sure it blazed like a dancing flame, but its time...
maybe its time for me to put it out before I burn myself to dust.

Maybe its time for me to look for something new (something fresh)
A new source of warmth, and new source of thrill that may possibly set my heart ablaze like it never has.

Oh, its not the end! (its never the end)
Its just not the right time.

Cheers to Life

Cheers to the people I met, and to the people who stayed, and to the people who left, and to the people who will leave.

Cheers to those who caused my life heartaches, and cheers to those who stood beside me in those heartaches.

Cheers to those who made me laugh, and to those who made me mad.

Cheers to the difficulties of life that has made me stronger than who I was yesterday.

Cheers to those memories that end in bliss, and cheers to those memories that leave a bitter taste.

But cheers--- Cheers anyway!

Cheers to the girl that is deeply embedded in my heart. (I'll never forget. I seriously never will.)
Cheers to the brother I never had. (You are awesome, and a brother will always be a brother.)
Cheers to the friends who help you keep warm in the cold days, and nights. (Much cheers. Much Cheers to you!)
Cheers to the choices, and mistakes that will be made. (May it cause me to become stronger than who I am today.)

Cheers to life!
Cheers to new adventures!
Cheers to new heartaches!

And

Cheers to God----
For everything.

365 days
The first time I met you
365 days
I came to know you

I remember the first time
My eyes met yours
You might think I'm crazy but
I've never seen someone as fine as you

I remember the day
The day I saw a different side of you
A side..
Of something..
Real
Of something
True
And slowly, but surely
My curious mind
Was drawn
To know...

To know
                every bit
of detail
                  about you

From that jolly smile of yours
Which (somehow) brightens my day
To those eyes that captivate
And leaves me with no words to say
seriously...
How beautiful can you get?

Still I am here
Just here
Forbidding myself to run after you
But here to protect you
From them
and from me...
For I am not a fool
To take what is yet to blossom even more
because I know...
You can move not just me
But even
the Greatest
of **Mountains

Don't  tell me you care because you don't.

When was the last time you cared about another more than yourself?

Don't tell me you care because you don't.

When was the last time you went out of your way to help a stranger in need?

Don't tell me you care because you don't.

When was the last time you gave random acts of kindness to the people around you?

Don't tell me you care because you don't

When was the last time you gave your friend or family a hug, and told them you love them?

When was the last time you gave generously to someone even though they didn't desrve it?

Don't tell me you care because you don't.

Don't tell me you care just show it.

Words are just words until they are done.

I once met a young bloke
Who went about life as everyone went about theirs
He was kind, gentle, and
a little bit different than everybody else
But a lot more the same as everyone else

One day, at the brink of dawn..
He said "I'm Dying to go to college!"
and when he did
He said "I'm dying to get to work and earn my own Money!"
and when it was so
He said "I dying to get married and have kids!"
and so he did, and when he did!
He said "I'm dying to get my kids grow, and have their own jobs!"
and he did make it happen.

But finally when he was too old to do the many things,
too frail to keep running and jumping like he used to,
He said "I'm dying to retire"

and when he finally did
He said "I'm dying..."
and at that moment ----
He realized that all those years ---
He had forgotten to live.

Haha!
What a marvelous year it has been
Surely, there were ups and downs
Dark corners explored
Sharp twists, and turns
Hurricanes along my path
Earthquakes that shook me down
Marvelous..
Just marvelous...

To think I thought I wouldn't survive the journey
Well... I was proven wrong
By He who is.
Yet again He has brought me to my victories (just how He promised)

But it wasn't that bad...
Surely there were giants to be slain
Dark forces that opposed me along the way.
It really isn't that bad...
As long as you don't fight alone.

To win a battle is Triumphant!
but to share a victory with comrades...
Is a whole different feeling!
To fight by their side
Just gives you a whole new purpose...

Praise to the one who says, "I am who I am"
For He is who He is!
None can interfere His divine plan
For His sons, and daughters!

Although,
There's still a long way ahead of us
And that's for sure.
Although,
We can not see what lies ahead
He has already cleared the way...
For you,
And for me
So, fear not.
Just watch how He fights for you, and I
And you'll see...
How His mighty hand strikes down
Who ever dares go againts us.

I sit and watch
As each day goes by
Wondering how it would be
To have you here by my side
To hear your voice saying "Good job, Son."

I wonder what kind of man I would have been
If you hadn't left this world so soon
I wonder what kind of life i would have lived
If you hadn't left this world so soon

So soon.

How confused I was
to have never known you
How confused I was
to have never remembered you

Some days I try my best
to even catch a glimpse
A glimpse of memory of you
But how young I was back then
too fragile
too weak
an infant new to this world

How I wish for you to have seen me grow
How I wished to be able to bring back time
Just so I can spend a minute, an hour, or a day
with you.

I hope to see you one day
To be able to feel the Love you gave
The Love that I have no memory of
I hope to see that Fatherly Smile on your face
A Smile I've been longing for
I hope to Feel those Fatherly arms around me
Just how you cradled me when I was still a Child.

And to hear those words "Good job, Son."

I cry in desperate need
As I fight these battles inside of me
These wars that never seem to end
A hopeless fight it seems to be

I am a warrior (A weak warrior)
Struck down, beaten up
But still desperately fighting
Bringing out the very last of my strength

To even last for a bit longer
Even if it lasts
Just for a bit
A tiny bit

I am a warrior (A weak warrior)
Without an army
But a sword in my hand
And a shield in the other

I cry in desperate need
For someone to fight with me
For this war can not be won
With one man to fight alone

Give me courage
To overcome my fear
Give me strength
For I grow weary, and tiresome

When days seems to grow dark
And my eyes can not see
Guide me
For I will be fighting blindly

Give me fire in my eyes
That burns deeply within
Fire that will never be put out
A fire that is ever growing

Provide me with allies
That will never turn their backs
Allies that hold the same fire
Infused within them

Sustain me with everything I need
Because I have vowed to myself
I will win this war for you
And only for you

What do you choose to do
In a life as complicated as you?

We run here and there
Busying ourselves with what we know
Walking to and fro
Figuring out how we should grow

Or not grow...

We seem to have such busy lives
Doing or not doing
Trying to make sense of it all
But end up falling short

What is this life that we know?

We meet people
We talk
We dance
We shop
We work
We study (or not)

When times are bad...

We cry
We get sad
We get angry
And just give up

When times are good

We cry too
We laugh
We dance
And maybe prance?

But it's all the same for you and I
When we do or not do
Whether we like it or not
Things happen

Good things
Bad things
It's all the same
For the good and the bad

But when things get confusing
Don't get hasty
Slow down just a bit
And maybe you won't get hit

There are much things in life
That we don't expect
We know nothing about the future
And that's what we should accept

But still...

During our days
Whether it be
Left or right
Up or down
This or that

We still have to choose
We still have to decide

My God my God
What can I do?
To these broken hearts that surround me
What can I do?
To these saddened eyes I see

I can't stand doing nothing
Seeing tears run down their eyes
I can't stand doing nothing
When their days seem to grow dark and hazy  

I just want to put my arms around them
Telling them everything will be better than fine
Better than okay
But even that won't be enough

My God my God
What can I do?


My Son my Son
You need not do anything
But to stay and listen
To give Love, and to give Hope
Do what I say
You asked, and I have answered

You need not do anything
Just leave the rest to me.

Isn't it ironic?
How one can die while being completely alive?
Or
When the nights becomes days and the days becomes nights?
Or
What we can't see is supposed to be what we should see?

Surely, We live in a world with infinite possibilities.
One day you're here
   One day you're there
Sometimes this becomes that
   And that becomes this
But
We live in a world,
Where time slows as we lose the joy,
   the excitement of life.
And the moment we do get that joy,
   get that excitement
Time speeds up like a flash of lightning

And you can't do anything...
except to keep it as long lasting memories
hoping it won't vanish into thin air.

We live in a world where people steal from each other
      thinking they would get more
  thinking maybe this would be enough
      maybe this would be my everything
   maybe this is the answer to all

But it just won't be enough
    Because instead of creating,
    people are taking.
    Taking more than what they are able to make,
    or keep...

We live in a world where words exist, but are not lived out
  We promise, but never really keep them
Making promises that are kept Zero to None.
  Does that make promises nonexistent?
Or just not practiced at all.

We say "I love you"
  We know "I love you"
It's one of the most universal phrase that exists!
Yet most live their whole lives not knowing..
   Not feeling..
     Not completing...
Those very beautiful words.
  Words that is enough to resurrect the dead
    to give life to a dying individual.

But for me,
        for what I've seen.
The greatest irony of it all...
   Most walk through life like they have already died
      The minute they were born.

I've fallen hopelessly to the ground
crying out in pain as I watch the sun go down
My vision has grown dark
so dark that even the moonlight can't light the way

I try to ignore the pain
but the pain is much too great.

Now the sun has gone

I've fallen into a cold dark pit,
Turning my heart icy cold
Freezing all the bit of warmth that used to wrap around my soul.

Now, I've fallen cold
For the tears the used to leave my eyes
are no more...

I've fallen cold
For the things that used to bring warmth in my life
bring warmth no more...

I lay helplessly on the ground
As I wait for the sun to come back
to bring forth warmth into my life once again

But, with these unhealed wounds time just seems forever.

Oh my
This foolish heart of mine
Dancing with fire

Oh my
This foolish heart of mine
Trapped in happenstance

Turning left and right wherever it wants to go
Under or over
In or out
Only to find itself captivated by what seems to be delicate
And beautiful
Deadly, but beautiful

What to do
What to do

Run it did, but only to return
Hide it did, but only to seek
Confused it was, confused I was!
Some sort of game is how I see it

Why have you run into such a captivating thing?
Beautiful
But deadly!

Thrown into madness!
Because deadly was something I loved
Deadly was something that made my heart come alive
Deadly was life.

To run, to hide, to turn back
These thoughts running in the back of my mind

This path I took
A seemingly endless road
Full of jagged rocks that pierce deeply into my skin
A road with darkness overshadowing each and every corner
Eyes bitter and cold peering out of the darkness

A road I walked with my naked feet
Blistered and wounded
With countless scars that covered my weak and fragile skin
I stumbled
I fell
I wept

Though each time I fell,
I heard a small, still voice
Small, but able
Able to give me new strength
Strength to run,
To walk a million miles more

Though each time I stumbled,
I am greeted by a hand that pulls me back up
A hand with great power
A hand that upholds my very being
Pushing me to go further
Pushing me to finish till the very end

Though each time I wept,
A light a thousand suns bright
Touches the surface of my skin
Its warmth enough to take all the tears away
Reminding me that in every darkness is a speck of light
A speck of light enough to overcome darkness
To over come grief

Strength, power, hope.

To Keep going
For in every journey
Is a destination
For in every hardship
Comes great triumph

This path I took
I still take
A seemingly endless road to no where
Seemingly...

Today,
       Tomorrow,
                    Yesterday.

yesterday I was
yesterday I did
yesterday I had
yesterday I lost. . .

though,
tomorrow I might
tomorrow I guess
tomorrow I . . .
don't really know.

but today. . .
today I am
today I can
today I will
today I decide
today I can see

Today is a gift.

Like concrete weighing down on my chest
Thorns that bind around the depths of my heart
Wounds that never seem to heal
Patched with seams that have grown old, and damp

When will this pain subside?

Each day a new heart is granted in my hands
To feel new energy surge through my veins
To keep myself going from the days rough road
But only to find a fractured heart at the end of every journey

What an imppossible feat!

To find a heart that never breaks
A heart so perfect
Unable to be stained by undesirables
A heart that never feels pain...

But what kind of heart would that be?

A heart that never learned to endure
A heart that knows no strength
A heart that does not understand the true meaning of triumph
A heart that does not understand...

I say to you

Never dwell in grief
Feeling downcast because of a few scars
For these are the marks of a true warrior
A soldier that endured
A fighter that fought a good fight

Never dwell in grief
Because at every journeys end comes a new beginning

And a new Heart.