Pain inside curls up in cramps
And so to the window I go.
I watch the cars and people go by
Like a circus running a show.
I light up and breathe in hard and fast
******* the ash to my soul.
Disgusting and dark it doesn't cut out
Or come close to filling the hole.
But on I puff the cinders glow red
And quickly come to an end
And right until my finger ends burn
And the smoke itself starts to bend.
I smoke one, and two and three and four
Trying to find some spice
To fill that freezing emptiness inside
And melt my heart made of ice.

Ouvre tes yeux, ouvre les aux miens
Yeux de tigre pour le bleu des tiens
Peaux pâles, fondant dans les draps
Vois cette fille unique, vois moi que moi
Je ne resterai pas longtemps tu uses tes chances
Avant que de mon cœur je n’arrache ta lance
Cours étranger, cours, ou je ne serai plus là
Plus longtemps que ça Je ne te tolèrerai pas
S’il te plait regarde devant toi
Et vois ce cadeau tendu à bout de bras :
Je t’offre mon cœur comme un appât.

My worst enemy and tireless companion
finally came to my door last night.

As I slept away the time of day
And killed my poor friend Time
He traveled closer to my home.

As I slowly cowered in the face of fear
And realized my mistake too late
As I chose to make a silly choice
He quietly opened the door.

Shame came in but didn't stop
And with every tear that welled up inside
He crawled in hot into my cheeks.

As the salty drops burned away my skin
He then moved on down to my throat
And choked me up till air was gone.

I gagged and shook, begging him to go
Openly admitting my sin
But Shame knew he could do more
And as I watched my world crumble
He eagerly attacked my heart.

As he dripped down to the hearth
He triumphed with his final mutation.
The pain of Shame is nothing
Next to that of his brother Humiliation.

There, in the privacy of my soul
He slaughtered my Pride with a blunted blade
As Sloth cowered in the corner.
When the room was red he finally paused
With a smile on his face at the lesson he left.

As he exited Responsibility came in instead
And from the door watched with sad eyes
Waiting for me to rise and finally apologise.

The London buses rush past in scarlet bustle
I lay here watching them crash into the air.
Noises from all corners attack and gnaw the calm
And I simply listen as silence struggles to be heard.
Sirenes, shouts, calls and construction
Drill and hammer any natural remnant
But I do nothing to stop this urban colonization
I lie and look as the world rushes past.

It screams, it laughs, it invites, it betrays.
At once my nasty friend and loyal enemy,
I smile through the window at its bleak legacy
And simply observe the animal that is the City.

Loneliness consumes me though in the kind arms of another
Such a great heart as his suffers at my dead touch.
But every touch brings up in me a shudder
And the image of your face hits away my crutch.

I want to return his light that waits reaching out to me

But only answer with a silent glow of memory.
Souvenirs of you, so oblivious and far at bay
Both caring and not, dancing your life away.

His arms grab mine, trying to shake me awake.
His blue eyes midnight, yours were summer skies
I can’t break away from thoughts of mistakes
And can only stare back, and just apologise.
.
The warmth of your skin, arms rocking me in the night
Block my sight as if engraved onto my eyes
Dancing with you as in a desperate fight
Begging his forgiveness, as life is my disguise.

I watch you watch me.
Your staring blue-green eyes
Like a summer Corfu sea
laugh as the seagull cries
Wishing things could be.

We know that it's too soon
And now it is too late
Since we met in early bloom
Not worried about fate.

But now we realize
How perfect we both could be
And in dismayed surprise
How much we need to see.

And so we love in silence
Our wings willingly clipped
Pausing any violence
Our hearts so clearly stripped.

One day one must leave
To live our youths away
And I will only grieve
Seeing our time decay.

You are the wings on my feet that take me your way
You are the drugs in my mouth to lead me astray.
Your are the bruise on my heart, painful and blue
You are the lead on my legs, drowning me too.
You are the tears on my cheeks running down now
You are the hope in their drops that I shouldn’t allow.
You are the corpse on my back, the skull in my hand
You are the wind to my sails, the flag to my land.
I cannot give up and so I will lose
All I have dear and willfully choose
To give up pride and be beaten down
Sacrificing the safety of my crown.

I refuse to beg, and yet refuse to believe
That such emotions can so quickly leave
From pure hearts and longing eyes
That swept me away in complete surprise
I hate, I writhe, I love, I long
For the only time I felt so strong
For what I lost with what I gained
Even the moments in utter pain
Over a perfect story that can’t be writ
For the perfect match, the perfect hit
That I never want to find again
I just can’t, I won’t, see other men
Yet you’re gone and in such a blaze
Leaving me dead and in a daze
Oh why oh why oh cruel time
Did you make then cut that delicate line
So that a time of gifts, love and good will
I can only want to find, cry and ****
**** the fate that gave him to me
Only to take him back so cruelly.