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end Jan 30
i lay at night
wondering what it might be like
to see your eyes when you come undone
and he's in your thighs

and then i remember
how i surrendered that luxury
when i let go of my heart

what a startle it was
when i looked up and found that i was not alone
before my eyes you denounced my lies
and pleaded with my dying soul

but that wasn't nearly enough
end Jul 2020
call you miss peach
mushroom princess
sugary sweet
my fairy child
cottagecore queen

(hello)
goodbye i think it's time that i leave
i know that now's no good for you and me
we'll be together one day baby (maybe)
but until that time i'll set you free (oh)

did you cast a spell
because i fell head over heels
i know your type well
fairies and elves get me hurt
because i fall too **** hard

(hi there) hello
looks like it's time that i go
you and me won't work out too well
we'll be together one day (unlikely)
until that time you won't be mine (oh)

call you miss peach
mushroom princess
cottagecore queen
not trying to be mean
but you're just a little too sweet

(hello) goodbye i've got to go
i think it's time that i leave
now's not a good time for you and me
won't be together baby
until you decide to fly by me (oh)

call you miss peach
mushroom princess
and you'll never be

not trying to be mean
but you're just a little too sweet

my cottagecore queen
end Jan 30
Death calls to me.

I kneel before her at full length—
Beside my lyre she would now dwell,
She was my smiling and my Soul!
Laid her on my golden door—
Beside my heart, she was my bride.
Laid her on my throne in sky—
An angel throng! with her bright eyes.



Death kissed my lips.

And when my deep blush went in gold,
I reached the end of her bright eyes—
She was my own sweet dream!
Shed all around me in a winter night,
Laid her wide head on my gold light.
Thus on that eve, as on that night
Held her white breast with its love light,
Kind solace to her burning sight!
end Sep 11
he can't change his clothes
he can't see green
he doesn't like to hear himself singing
but they make me laugh
when they cry, i cry
i didn't go to class
but i watched them live
and they helped me live
they helped me to survive
who else could they be

they're my
dream team
eyes green
shirt blue
red face
know you won't hear
this song my dear
you don't know me
but you're my
dream team

he wears a smile
his goggles are on
he ties up his head band
i'm so far gone
when they laugh, i die
i watched them tonight
told them my struggles
spoke about my fights
they said they were there for me
my dream team

he was taken
he's not found
he took a nap on the ground
it may sound insane
block boys make my day
but who else could have saved me
no one but my dream team
this is about the mcyt dream team 🤡
end Jul 2020
I tried to start a forest fire so bright
But it burned my house last night
Now that my trees have all died
I can not see you

We're livin' in a forest we can't explore
In a lifetime we try to ignore
And I wanna see the whole world
The way that you do

But I need to know if you are real
Cause baby I don't know how to feel
And I cannot control my mind
I scratched out the line
And erased my past

We're livin in a blue-black world.
And you're just a red-orange girl.
We're trying not to be T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.
And you are just trying
To hide in plain sight.

Cause we're livin' in a red-orange sea.
And I wish you were blue-black like me.
And I can not even swim,
so I'll just be sinkin in
To deep to see you.

I wanna know now if this is real.
I wish that somehow they could heal us.
We cannot be sugary sweet.
It's only you and me
Against all the odds.

So please just hold me tight.
(Hold me tight!)
Maybe even spend the night.
(Spend the night!)
You take my mind off the constant fight and
I can't lose you.

Cause we're livin in a red-orange world.
And I'm just a blue-black girl.
We're trying not to be T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.
And you are just trying
To hide in plain sight.

Cause we're livin' in a red-orange sea.
And I wish you were blue-black like me.
And I can not even swim,
so I'll just be sinkin in
To deep to see you.

And I know you made a stupid mistake.
They thought I wasn't real and our love was fake.
I tried to stop what I knew would go down.
Now all of our colors mixed around
In the air that we breath.

Because the trees they didn't light themselves.
You held a match up and your candle fell.
There was no reason for you to doubt me.
I was too late though.
My love, I'm so sorry.

We were just livin in a blue-black world.
And you were my red-orange girl.
We were trying not to be so T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.
And you were trying
To hide in plain sight.

Cause we're livin' in a red-orange sea.
And I wish you were blue-black like me.
(Blue-black like me!)
And I can not even swim,
so I'll just be sinkin in
To deep to see you.

We're livin in a blue-black world.
And you're just a red-orange girl.
(Red-orange girl!)
We're trying not to be T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.
And you are just trying
To hide in plain sight.

Cause we're livin' in a red-orange sea.
(Red-orange sea!)
And I wish you were blue-black like me.
And I can not even swim,
so I'll just be sinkin in
To deep to see you.

We're living in a colorless world.
Now you're just my plain grey girl.
I tried to stop being so T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.
And you're just laying in the box where you died.

You'll never know if we were real.
But baby now I know how you feel.
Time has passed, but I won't be alright.
Cause I lost you to the constant fight.

Cause we're livin' in a colorless sea.
And I wish you were still red-orange like me.
You float but I still can not seem to swim.
So I'll just be sinking in
Deep just to see you.
end Jul 2020
rest
your eyes just for tonight,
i will kiss your forehead
and you will be alright
they say say blood is thicker, then every
colour fades to white.

our planetary existence has been
intertwined
and forever your dreams they
will be mine

we were raised to be our future
selves,
our past is over and i can
tell
that together
we'll all crumble down
my sweet little kitten
don't you
frown

these pointed daggers on our heads keep us
tacked into our beds
we only awaken
at the very end
all this time i spent thinking
enemies were friends

this rainbow will soon die
out,
there is no time for us all
right now

take my hand and never let me
go
we missed the start of our own
show
for now and forever together we'll
be
the heros of our own
history

wasting time trying to fix the
past
instead of making these dreams

last.
end Jul 2020
If I had killed myself today,
Would you have killed yourself tomorrow?
If I told you to leave me,
Would you stay?
If I drowned in the tub,
Would you drown yourself in sorrow?
If I told you to shut up,
What would you say?

Would you make me feel better?
Would you answer my cries?
Though I don't know if you could because,

I don't feel the way I used to.
No I don't feel the same anymore.
I don't feel the way that I used to.
No my life has become such a bore.

If I was with another,
Would it hurt you?
If I chose to walk away,
Would you come?
I don't feel the way,
That I used to.
Living in this world is no fun.

I don't feel the way I used to.
No I don't feel the same anymore.
I don't feel the way I used to.
Everything's much worse than before.

I don't feel the way that I used to.
I'm sorry for what happened before.
I don't feel the way I used to.
No I don't feel the same anymore.
I don't feel the way I used to.
No I don't wanna feel anymore.
end Sep 11
i wanna kiss your face
take me back to your place
my mother will never know
oh oh oh
i'm afraid i'm gonna like kissing your girlfriend more than you
i'm afraid she's gonna find out that i wanna be used by you too
i'm afraid you'll hate me hanging around
i hate the sound of my own sounds
and i hate how your feelings drown me
and thoughts of you surround me
in the best possible way
i've never been one for fate
but there you are
still standing by me
end Jan 30
Her ******* arose and fell with mine
Dare the foolish lip divine?

Too rapt by Time's celestial wicks,
Spend the days along the homesick.

Young flowers with their own lesson given,
The world's day and love are riven.

Without the beam, from our dreaming,
Bright as the need of a star.

Rich in the red, unto the dew,
Too fair, so shy, too new!
end Sep 11
strawberry dress and clear lip gloss
laying your head on a soft bed of moss
the way you run off
reminds me of ballet
and your smile in the sun
just makes my day

but you're like a nosebleed
you really taste so sweet
i wanna take care of you
but you're no good for me
i've never had a nosebleed
i wish someone would hold me
and sing me soft songs
in their arms as i fall asleep

your scraped knees are so cute
i wanna say that i love you
but by now it's too late
you've got a boyfriend anyways

i spend all my money
on a tissue box
and waste all my time on
the show you watch
hoping that one day soon
i'll get to be the one with you

but you're like a nosebleed
you taste so ******* sweet
but you come with a punch to the face
and you make me wanna leave this place

you're like pulling teeth
it's what i need
but i ******* hate you
you're like a nosebleed
know what i mean
you taste so sweet
but it's painful
and just like me
you want everything to be perfect but you're so unstable
begging to be taken on a table
you're a self inflicted injury
and i've been clean for several weeks
end Jul 2020
This day,
I'll keep the lights on in this place.
The end can't come soon enough
and it's all that I need.
I know you want to leave but
this line's the only way
It's alright.
Together we go.

I was doing fine on my own!

Do me a favor and try to ignore
as I start the car and then I begin,
I said, "Don't be afraid. We're going home."
And in your mind you're singing la-da la-da la-da la-da (la-da la-da da)

Now is the ****** to the story!

Let's take this a second at a time,
and now that I write and think about it,
I'm pleading please, oh please on my knees repeatedly asking,
Hey, hey, wouldn't it be great, great,
my time today-
down in the forest.
I'm holding on to what I know
my bad behaviour but I bet I could have been a better man,
and you will never understand what I believe.

Luckily I can read your mind.
You hold the cure,
silent in the trees.
Living empty-handed,

I'm not done, I'm not done yet, no!

I'll stay awake,
Twisting the kaleidoscope behind both of my eyes
that make Pandora's Box's contents look non-violent.
Will you take care of me?

I have these thoughts,
'Cause I'm twisted up, I'm twisted up inside.
I'm trying to be so cool
you'll have to watch me struggle,
and I'll fall
'Cause when the sun sets, it upsets what's left of my invested interest...

I want to see,
The sun will rise, and we will try again.
Just another attempt to make the voices stop.
Wish we could turn back time (oh), to the good old days (oh)

I know it's hard sometimes.

What I wanna save I will try.
My heart is my armor
regardless,
I found my way.

Hope you haven't left without me, please.

I don't know where you are. You'll have to come and find me, find me!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!)
I will let the wind go quietly,
I don't know why, I just feel I'm better off.
Don't let me be-!

If you need anyone
and everyone's asleep, mind you
I'll morph to someone else.
I'll go with you, I'll go with you.
Let me catch you up to speed:
For you, I would get beat to smithereens.
Promise me this,
Just don't believe the hype!
They want to make you forget,
if you decide
to feel some control.

This clique means so much to this dude!
They know that it's almost over.

But you walked by like you never heard...
this was written entirely out of twenty one pilots lyrics
end Jul 2020
In the back of the room
She waits alone
Listening to a sad song on her own
She writes her words
While she hears others speak
Waiting for friends
Never to be enough
To fill her void
And when she's left destroyed
With a past that's so bleak
Wishing that she could see

But the things in this world they never go her way
The walls of the room they have started to sway
And she falls to the ground
Feeling fear in her veins
As she crumbles right down
Seeing today is the same
As yesterday was
She'll never be okay
Cause in the back of the room
She waits alone
Listening to a sad song on her own
end Sep 11
you told everyone you had a girl
tried to control every aspect of her world
but what if she didn't feel the same
what if she was they or he some days

somedays, she wants you to tell her she's pretty
even if you hate the way she looks
and somedays, he just wants to laugh with his mama
even if he hates the way he looks
somedays, they need to hear you say you love them
because they don't feel like you do
somedays you don't have a daughter
is that okay with you

you warned her of how boys were stupid
but told her she'd marry one someday
so what if she decided not to
what if she didn't feel the same

somedays, they dream of boys who'll kiss them
even though they hate themselves
and somedays, they dream of girls who'll hold them and want to be held
even though they're a little chubby
somedays, they want to have a partner regardless of what that partner wants to be called
somedays your child doesn't want anyone at all

is that okay with you
does it make you mad
if i weren't normal
would you understand
because this song is about me
it's about how i feel
it's about what i am
fluidity is real

somedays
end Jul 2020
Paint the town black and it'll fit right in with my soul
If I even have one that is, I guess I just don't know
I often feel like there's something wrong with my mind
Everyone tells me that I am just wasting my time,
That I'm wasting my life

Kicking and screaming and fighting and crying all night
Scratching and tearing my skin until I stop my fight
I'm done trying tonight
Guess I'm done trying at life

I'm just a scared little girl who doesn't know what to do
In my scared little world reaching outward to you
But you won't help me
And I don't deserve it
I'm worthless
Not a single purpose
Just hurting

You say that you don't mean the bad things that I hear from you
I guess you don't but sometimes I really want you to
I love all the pain but I hate how it makes me cry
Because I know I love it but you think that that's not alright

I'm just a scared little girl with no one to hold onto
In my scared little world wishing I could just be held by you
But you won't let me
Even if I need it

I'm tired of wanting the fire to burn me up inside
The burn would clear up my lungs, my bones and my mind
Clear my skin of it's bruises
The bruises would fade
My day fades away
My soul finally feels safe at home
Even though homes where the heart is
And you said I was heartless

I guess home is where my art is
I guess my home is in the darkness
And you won't come inside
Though I try and I try
To welcome you in my life
end Sep 11
you're the spider in the corner of my bathroom
i can't look even though i'm not scared of you
still i stay just a few feet away and i don't make you leave me be
you're the spider in the corner staring back at me
sometimes i sit and waste my day just looking at you
your web grows stonger everyday
you're the spider in the corner of my bathroom
i want you gone but i make no move to move you
end Sep 11
you put your faith into her
yeah you gave her the world
she promised that she'd do right by you
you taught her things like
little girls never hike up their skirts
girls don't wear shirts
they wear dresses and blouses
do their hair in pigtails
and make homes out of houses
paid for by their husbands

but what if he told you the truth
told you she went away with his youth
she was gone but he would take her place
and he
wants to be
someone you could learn to love
if it was me
id see to it that he
knew that he was enough
he just wants to know he's loved

somewhere else
he reaches for the high shelf
he carries the heavy loads
and he watches as time goes by
he can't help but cry
what if he asked for help
asked to end the life he was delt
begged for you to look past the body he never asked for

what if she told you her new name
would you turn her away
because just the other day
she was the little boy you raised

and she
wants to be
someone you could learn to love
if it was me
id see to it that she
knew that she was enough
she just wants to know she's loved

and they
want to stay
in your good graces
don't say they're going through phases
don't take away their happy places
just because you don't get it
doesn't mean they have to regret being alive
end Jan 30
**** me now,
I'll put myself to a grave.
The coffin gives the whole of me.
The moment, but no power can ever save!

Let me die.
Sit in these gardens with your dark eyes!
Silent the matter lies;
Keep a wanderer out in sky.

I won't return.
Find no escape in me.
Slow down the wilderness I see,
That crowd around thy home and be!
end Jan 30
I hate me
Unless I should die now for thee.

I hate my life
Ere I bade this end into broken strife.

Keep a sigh in the lonesome sky!
I wanna die.

— The End —