I have a fear of drowning
And darling, I am underwater
Tried to tread it
Couldn't keep my head up
Now I'm  f l o a t i n g
My thoughts are  f a d i n g
I feel my self spin
As I drift away from consciousness
And from sanity
I am  w e i g h t l e s s
Yet sinking
I want to wake up
But I'm not
d r e a m i n g
. . .

I'm shaking, I'm cold, I'm lost...
I am all alone.

i put all of my love for you
in a little blue box.
i tied it shut with a piece of rope.
over and over i made knots
until my fingertips bled.
i sent it away with the ocean current.
who knows where it is now.
i hope whoever finds it really needs it,
because i don't.
i scream our memories into a glass bottle.
i chunk it at a tree.
it explodes into a thousand tiny pieces.
the glass slices my hands open.
the sting takes away from
the pain in my heart.
there is a little frayed string
hanging off of my sweater.
i keep picking at it,
i can't stop myself.
soon enough
there will be nothing left of this sweater
just like there is nothing left of
you.

every one of those doves
so willing a martyr of love
yearning for a grave
if on roses they're laid

convinced that the pain
is drastic necessity
dramatic breath
bated and sporadic
reeking of that yearning

you created fireworks in my heart;
but all I did was add a few matches
to the fire she had already started
in yours.